Justin's Weekly Brain Seepage: Week Nine

Well, what would you suggest then???

LSU fans should’ve known how Saturday’s game against the Georgia Bulldogs was going to turn out. LSU’s live mascot “Mike VI” refused to get in his transport to be taken to the stadium to make his usual pre-game appearance. Thus, he never showed because, let’s face it, are you gonna make a 700-pound tiger do something he doesn’t want to do?

Word is, this happens every once in a while, and Mike’s handlers are never going to make him do anything by force. As Georgia Dawg suggested, maybe he was scared of Georgia’s live mascot, UGA?

Nah. In fact, let’s schedule a play date for the two mascots, seeing as how the play date for the two teams didn’t really work out for me.

I think the real reason is that the game was way too early, but that’s just my opinion.

What really grinds my gears...

No one is trying to discredit Florida’s National Championship in ’06 by saying that Urban Meyer won with Ron Zook’s players. Yet everyone seems to think LSU coasted to a National Championship last year due to someone else’s recruiting. Apparently, I could’ve coached these guys to a Championship. Who knew?

Add to that fact that LSU’s 2003 National Championship was discredited in a sense by USC’s claim to the AP National Championship.

Every time we win something, someone tries to take it away from us. That kind of thing could give a fan base a complex.

Now since Alabama is undefeated and because LSU has dropped two games, we get to read articles about how LSU is crumbling with Miles at the helm. All hail Saban!

But if you look at LSU’s schedule since 2000 (Saban’s first year), you see a commonality in the ebb and flow of the win-loss records year by year.

LSU’s record since 2000

2000 8-4

2001 10-3

2002 8-5

2003 13-1

2004 9-3

2005 11-2

2006 11-2

2007 12-2

With the exception of 2006, even-year schedules tend to be down years for LSU compared with their odd counterparts. Scheduling has a lot to do with this, but it’s become a fact of life.

But since 2000, LSU has NEVER won the SEC West in an even year. NEVER.

Maybe fans were spoiled in ’06 when Miles got the team to the Sugar Bowl and an 11-2 record in an even year, and then a conference championship and national championship the following season. Although Saban had more even years than Miles has had so far, Saban never lost less than three games in even years, something Miles may do this year but hasn’t yet.

When Saban did struggle, it was because he had inexperience at QB and in the defensive secondary. Sound familiar?

All this stuff about “Miles winning with Saban’s players” and now the purple and gold retort of “Saban is winning with Shula’s players” is childish and ignorant and it needs to stop.

Some writers take great pleasure in trying to bait reactions from opposing fan bases (and I’m not talking about a certain respected writer’s one-time foray into the Gator art of smack).

Lisa Horne did a great article on trolls a while back. Well, guess what? They don’t just appear on message boards.

I don’t know about you, but I didn’t have to pass a screening process to get on B/R. Neither do these guys. Take everything you read with a grain of salt. The fair, rational, intelligent fans know who speaks the truth and who is just out there to flame other fans under the guise of being a writer.

I’m not saying no one should ever write with the intent of eliciting a reaction. Most writers want reader reaction, especially if the author has given us something to mentally chew on. Heck, some successful columnists and radio hosts make an entire career out of getting under your skin.

Why?

Because we keep taking the bait.

But most intelligent readers can tell by a writer’s tone and demeanor in their work exactly the kind of person they are dealing with. I would think most could tell the difference between a writer with a valid opinion (that may in fact differ from yours) over one who tries to build their read and comment count by venomous yellow journalism.

I mean, I might come up with some pretty outlandish stuff sometimes, but at least those of you that know me know how to take what I say.

And another thing, Tiger and Tide fans: Remember that no arguments will be won in 2008. If you really feel the need to duke it out, let’s meet back here in a few years, say 2011 and we’ll let the smack fly then.

Alabama fans need to enjoy their run this season, and LSU fans should focus on their team trying to finish strong.

And both should look forward to what will hopefully be a great match up on Nov. 8 in Baton Rouge.

It’s possible to do this in a civil way, LSU and Bama fans, I promise.

I’m about to be a dad—don’t make me come back there!

Or you know what, just go nuts on each other. Who cares. What am I...your mother?

(The preceding was directed to the small number of LSU and Bama fans who act this way and is not representative of the majority of fans...I think.)

It’s in the numbers...

4----No. of TD passes Tennessee quarterback Nick Stephens has this season.

4----No. of TD passes LSU quarterback Jarrett Lee has to opposing teams this season.

19----No. of interceptions SMU QB Bo Levi Mitchell has thrown this season, seven more than the two players tied for second.

23----No. of times Bo Levi Mitchell has been sacked this season, second only to Arkansas’ Casey Dick (24).

5----No. of SMU offensive linemen that owe Bo Levi Mitchell a round at the bar.

1----University of Louisiana-Lafayette’s rank among all FBS schools in rushing yards.

118----UCLA’s rank among all FBS schools in rushing yards. Only SMU and San Diego State were worse.

887,739----No. of LSU fans that cringe whenever University of Louisiana-Lafayette is referred to as “Louisiana.” Don’t be in that number. Call them Ooooh Lah Lah. They love that.

6 ----No. of times the confederacy, a confederate general, civil war jokes, or saying “we” when talking about the South in the Civil War was mentioned by Georgia fans in the first hour I spent with them this past Saturday. (I really liked them though, but “Hello culture shock!!”)

I’m no expert...

Through my years of college football fandom, I fancied myself a good prognosticator. Then a couple of years ago I got the idea to pick against my wife for the college bowl season. I did this the first year and won and it got such a good response (mostly for my wife’s less than football knowledgeable girly system of picking) that I brought it back for a second season.

So we did it a second season for last year’s bowl games and lo and behold, the wife beat me by one game. My pride hurt a little, but that faded away as her apathy for the game didn’t really lead her to rub it in my face—which kind of made it worse, like she just picked names off a page and then flipped back to her What Not to Wear marathon.

To avenge my loss to the fairer sex, I agreed to pick against Lisa Horne in her effort to beat down all the fellas from the B/R college football community. Then I absolutely embarrassed myself against the spread, going three for 10, which is good in baseball, right?

So why should you listen to my picks? Well, because like a gambler after a series of bad beats, I’m due. But due to swearing off picking against women until bowl season and the fact that my dog had trouble fitting me into her schedule, I’m going to start picking against inanimate objects.

I mean, what good is a dartboard if you can’t blindfold yourself and throw sharp objects at it? Don’t worry—this time I'm going to do it sober.

I simply assigned even or odd to a team for each game and blindly chucked a dart at the board. So just two 911 calls and a container of caulk later, I bring to you this week’s picks: Me vs. Dartboard.

It’s time to bring the rain…

Auburn +6.5 at Ole Miss

Auburn is on life support, and Ole Miss has a chance to position themselves for a better bowl.

Justin says: Ole Miss 22-20

Dartboard says: Auburn +6.5

Pitt +4.5 at Notre Dame

I think the Irish are finding their groove. Are they going to be able to tackle LeSean McCoy though?

Justin says: Notre Dame 28-21

Dartboard says: Notre Dame

Tennessee +5.5 at South Carolina

The Gamecocks’ D makes the difference in Columbia.

Justin says: South Carolina 20-13

Dartboard says: South Carolina

Nebraska +22 at Oklahoma

Maybe one day Bo Pelini will have his boys ready enough to make this rivalry a great one again. But this won’t be that day.

Justin says: Oklahoma 44, Nebraska 20

Dartboard says: Nebraska

Florida State +2.5 at Georgia Tech

This is a statement game for both teams. Which team will make more noise?

Justin says: Florida State 26, GT 23

Dartboard says: Georgia Tech

Florida at Georgia +6

Hope the Dawgs didn’t get too high after last week’s win over LSU. Tim Tebow promised me he’d play harder than anyone else in the country. I think Knowshon could give Timmy a run for his money. Still, I like the Gators in this one.

Justin says: Florida 41-31

Dartboard says: Florida -6

Texas at Texas Tech +4

Not only do the Red Raiders get a chance to spoil a rival’s season, they also get a chance to make their own claim to play in Miami. Everything tells me to take the Horns (mainly defense), but I’m not going to.

Justin says: Texas Tech 45, Texas 41

Dartboard says: Texas -4

(Touché dartboard, well played.)

Speaking of gambling with our future...

Well, while most of you are choosing who our next president will be this coming Tuesday, my wife and I will hopefully be welcoming our first child to this world.

We decided to be surprised when it came to finding out the sex of the baby, and this has led to some wagering amongst friends.

So why stop with friends?

Feel free guess the sex. Heck, you can even suggest a name if you like. The wife ruled out “Mike the Tiger Goar” for a boy or “Valley” as in “Death Valley” for a girl, so I am out of ideas.

I’m planning on getting a lot less sleep and trying to perfect the art of changing the diaper in true calf roping or NASCAR pit crew time, so you may not hear from me for a little while. But I’m also taking off from work for a while, so who knows. Nevertheless, I’ll be back and hopefully with more life experience the next time we meet.

Until then...Go Tigers!!!