WWE Raw, 5/23/11: Results and Thoughts from a Lackluster Show

WWE Monday Night Raw opened with a Randy Savage graphic. I was happy to see it. If anyone deserves a tribute it’s Savage. Later on in the show, he would get it.

Jerry Lawler started things out. I was really surprised to not see John Cena come out and blab about how he didn’t quit as he usually does.

The King spoke of his victory over Michael Cole and introduced Bret “The Hitman” Hart. He said he loves being back, and we love seeing him back.

He also praised Lawler before R-Truth interrupts.  He complained about never having a title shot, blah, blah, blah.  We hear that from every heel who’s never had a title shot.

Truth teased a kid and threatens Hart before SuperCena came out to hog the spotlight, I mean save the day—I knew he couldn’t stay away.

He argued with Truth, who said that Cena is the conspiracy: The reason he never got a title shot. 

The GM chimed in and made the main event, giving Truth a chance to show he's worthy of a shot.

This was a decent way to start Raw, though I’m personally getting tired of the show starting off with people talking instead of having a match. Truth is progressing nicely as a heel. CM Punk has some competition as top bad guy on Raw.

Big Show and Kane sat on Alberto Del Rio’s car. Ricardo Rodriguez tried to get them off, but Show pushed him away. Del Rio comes in and speaks Spanish. Nothing like insulting someone then speaking in a language they don’t understand.  Could this be the makings of a new feud?

A title match? I’m surprised. Show and Kane defended against David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty. Like any face vs. heel match, the faces control the bout before the commercial break. Upon returning from the advertisements, the heels have taken control and Kane was playing the “face in peril.”

I was bored at this point and just listened to CM Punk on commentary.  He’s quite good and very entertaining.

A hot tag to Show put the champs back in control as he dominated the Nexus. He moves very quickly for a man of his size.

Mason Ryan distracted the referee so Punk can kick Show in the back of the head. One double DDT later crowns NEW Tag Team Champions at 8 minutes 57 seconds.

A DDT took out the largest athlete in the world? Are you kidding me? A horrible finish to the match.

An overall boring match with some okay action. It was your typical WWE tag team match.  Absolutely nothing special about it.

WWE really has to step up their game in terms of tag team wrestling.  Match rating: one out of five stars.

We went backstage with the former champs.  Show was complaining about losing. Del Rio comes in and slaps Show. He chased after him and the camera “breaks” for a few moments.  In that time, Show was run over by a car.

In the words of the Miz, “Really?  Really?” This was very poorly executed here, especially the part with the camera “breaking” long enough for it to happen.

Show remained on the screen as he, as my friend put it, “sounded like a wookie orgy.”  They really stayed on it for too long.

Jack Swagger fought Evan Bourne next. Bourne started out quick with speed, but Swagger stopped it just as quick with his boot.

Swagger got in a big slam but misses his corner splash. Bourne came back with some kicks, which were reversed into an ankle lock, then also reversed into a rollup for two.  One powerbomb later and Swagger won the match at two minutes and nine seconds.

As Swagger did his victory lap, Bourne got in a quick attack before running off.

This had the potential to be a five star match. Both men are great workers and have proved in the past that they can have phenomenal matches.

Just over two minutes, are you kidding me?

I guess one good thing has come out of this match, a potential feud between the two.  I just hope WWE gives them the time of day. Match rating: one and a half out of five stars.

I was really hoping that we wouldn’t see Michael Cole at all tonight.  He came to the ring to chants of, “You suck toes."

That’s a new one.  I like it.

Cole apologizes to everyone from Lawler to the timekeeper. Lawler makes fun of him a bit then Cole rejoins the commentary booth.

Finally, this feud is over! It should have been over at WrestleMania. Michael Cole has taken up valuable air time. It’s because of ridiculous storylines like his that guys like Swagger and Bourne get two minute matches.

As Cole sat down next to Josh Matthews, the Miz came out to complain.

What else is new?

A heel loses and then cries about losing. I’ve seen this before, in fact, I’ve seen it hundreds of times.

Then—gasp—Miz blames Alex Riley for all of his misfortunes.

A heel blaming someone else because they’ve been losing lately? I’ve never seen that before, no wait, I have.

Miz continued the stereotypical heel stuff like, “I’m not leaving until X happens.” He wanted another title shot. The GM chimed in and denied his request.

Miz pulled a Vince McMahon and fires Riley.  Riley snapped and absolutely destroyed Miz.

Fans loved his face turn and he received what probably were the first cheers of his WWE career.  That should have happened sooner.

Oh boy, time for the Divas.  Instead of two, we got eight, which I believe is the whole Divas roster on Raw. It’s the Bella Twins, Maryse, and Melina vs. Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Eve, and Beth Phoenix.

Frankly, I was glad to see Gail and Phoenix in a match on Raw. Unfortunately I would be very disappointed.

Kelly started the match by destroying one of the Bella’s. Then Kharma came out.

The match lasted a whole 25 seconds until the woman formally known as Awesome Kong interrupted.

Well, at least we’d get to see her destroy all the Raw “Barbie dolls” at once instead of just one at a time, right.  The Divas surrounded her. I was getting pumped.

Wait a minute?

Kharma dropped to her knees and cried.

What’s going on here?

Congratulations WWE. You ruined Kharma before she even had her first match. This better go somewhere.  Match rating: zero out of five, obviously.

Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre was up next. The match began with quick action. A possible botched move resulted in a knee injury for Kingston.

McIntyre then worked over the knee.  Kofi returned to his feet and hit McIntyre with his usual moves: The Jimmy Snuka like chops and the boom drop, which resulted in a two count.

He went for the Trouble in Paradise but failed when knee gave out. Drew hit him with a big running powerbomb for two.

The match was suffering because of the “injury.” Kofi hit his other finisher to win the match at 4 minutes and 10 seconds. The camera showed Ziggler backstage watching the match which signifies the two will battle soon, though I’d rather see Kofi face McIntyre over the US Title.

This match really needed more time. A potential five star match suffered due to time constraints and an “injury." Both are phenomenal talents and deserved better. Match rating: two and a half out of five.

Backstage, the Nexus celebrated their win. Why is it that Mason Ryan was being built like a monster then knocked down? He should be one half of the Tag Team Champions right now.

Elsewhere, Del Rio blamed Ricardo for the accident.

Short, sweet, and somewhat pointless.

We saw Ricardo in the car so the audience understood that he did it.

Finally, a tribute for Randy Savage appeared on my screen.

I shed a tear.

It was emotional to watch. WWE put together a great video there. R.I.P. “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

Sadly, this was the best part of the night.

The main event began pitting R-Truth and CM Punk against John Cena and Rey Mysterio with Bret Hart as the special referee.

Punk was wearing Savage-like attire in tribute. Nice touch.

The match started with Cena and Truth. Cena, of course, took control.

Thirty seconds in and we already go to commercial. That was quick.

Back from the break and the heels were in control with Punk and Cena in the ring.  SuperCena emerged for a bit before Punk regained control and tagged in Truth.

It’s weird seeing Cena as the “face in peril,” but wait, he reversed a GTS into a DDT.  Is SuperCena coming back? Not really, but he did get the hot tag to Mysterio.

Rey hit a big seated senton. The pace quickened until a pin was broken up. Another GTS was reversed, into a 619. Hart slapped on the Sharpshooter which gave Rey an opportunity to hit a springboard leg drop for the win at just under 10 minutes. 

The faces win the main event, what a surprise. An entertaining match to a certain degree, but was your typical WWE tag team match.  Match rating: three out of five stars.

With under a half hour of action in the ring, Raw was nothing special.  Overall, a very disappointing show.

WWE is supposed to be about entertainment. Personally I was not entertained.

Five matches accumulated a total of eight out of twenty-five stars. Not good.

Not good at all.

I give this week’s Raw two stars.  It would have gotten one star, but the Savage tribute was that damn good to give Raw that extra star.