Tiger Woods Gives 42 Good Reasons for Calling It Quits at the Players

Can't you just hear the quotes now?

"It is what it is."

That's his favorite. It's his go-to quote, the way the stinger used to be his go-to shot.

"It is what it is." Stinger.

Yes, Thursday morning at the Players Championship, it was what it was, wasn't it?

Not the start Eldrick Tiger Woods was looking for.

Sorry if you missed it.

You see, the Dali Lama of Lame Knees went out in 42. Yes, you read that correctly, 42.

How'd Eldrick shoot 42? Simple, he missed a 23-footer at the par five ninth for 41 on the front nine there at that nasty TPC Sawgrass.

How about five pars, three bogeys and a triple?

Started innocently enough, he doesn't like that first hole and promptly missed the fairway, missed the green and didn't get up-and-down. Heck he used to get up-and-down from everywhere, blindfolded, eyes closed, one arm behind his back.

Didn't birdie the par five second, par fives used to be par fours for the Archduke of Achilles.

Then came the fourth. Now hold on to your Nike caps, boys and girls.

The Duke of Islesworth drove it in the left rough, hit his second in the water, in in two, out in three, hitting four, dunked the fourth into the water, out in five, hitting six, on in six, made it from just inside 18 feet for seven, wow, should have been an eight, great putt, Tigh.

At the fifth, with a wedge or some sort from 111 yards, he hit it in the greenside bunker. Ouch, perhaps it was time to let Stevie take a swing for him. Lousy bunker shot, another bogey. Isn't this the guy who used to own bunkers?

Well, the good news is he got on a real roll and rattled off three pars in a row and surely he'd birdie the par five ninth, don't you think?

The Prince of Par Fives launched one 327 yards at nine, then went long and for his third, he hit a Chunky Money into the greenside bunker, came up with an amazing effort that stopped 23 feet away and skillfully two-putted for his bogey.

Forty-two.

Hey, it's not all that bad.

The Baron of Bogey Golf shot 43 on the back nine at Quail Hollow last year. Shot 43 once at Bay Hill and notched another at the 1996 Tour Championship.

So then, worst of all, Tigh decided he'd had enough, he called it a day. Big fat WD.

Headed back to Islesworth.

Blame it on the knee. Blame it on the Achilles.

Heck, while your at it, blame it on Sean Foley.

Hope he got it on tape.