Star Wars Day: Comparing Movie Saga to Sports
...A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
In case you haven't noticed today May 4th is Star Wars day. All over social media outlets and over the internet people have been greeting each other with "May the 4th be with you"/
So in honor of such an awesome day I thought I'd do a little comparison between the beloved saga and sports.
So sit back and enjoy.
The Empire: New York Yankees
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This one shouldn't come as a shock to anyone. When Larry Lucchino (part owner of the Boston Red Sox) referred to the Yankees as the Evil Empire it quickly took off.
From Newspapers to internet blogs had a ton of photo shopped images of then Yankees owner, the late George Steinbrenner's face imposed on Darth Vader's body.
In fact it seemed that the Yankees and their fan base almost relished in the idea of being the "bad guy".
But when you spend the most and have the most World Series titles, it's not hard to understand why the rest of the league hates you.
The Rebel Alliance: 2003 Florida Marlins
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I'm sure a lot of you after the last slide expected me to label the Red Sox as the Rebels. After all they are the chief rival of the Yankees.
But alas they spend almost as much on players as the Yankees do so they're not really the underdogs they like to make themselves out to be.
No, if the Yankees truly are the "Evil Empire" then the 2003 Florida Marlins fill the void of the Rebel Alliance.
A team that no one thought could make it to the World Series given their dismal pay-roll not only made it but toppled the a Yankee team that spent $110 million dollars more on players ($54 million compared to $164 million).
That was truly a David vs Goliath challenge and Josh Beckett fired the photon torpedoes that blew up the Yankees' Death Star.
The Emporer: Jerry Jones
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Outside of his uncanny resemblance to the character, Jerry Jones is my list's Emperor because of the sheer dislike the rest of the NFL (including many Cowboy fans) have for him.
His sheer arrogance rubs people the wrong way and his deceleration that the Cowboys would be the first team to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium (never mind they only won one play-off game in 15 years) sent the bloggers and internet commentators off like rabid dogs.
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
The Death Star: New Cowboys Stadium
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Darth Vader called the Death Star a "Technological Terror" and there isn't a stadium in sports that that fits that bill more then Jerry World.
It's such an amazing spectacle with it's massive HD screens and stripper polls you forget that it's home to an NFL Franchise.
Luke Skywalker: Tom Brady
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Try not to think about the three time Super Bowl winning, model dating, millionaire everyone outside of Boston has grown to hate.
No think of the sixth round pick out of Michigan that no one had ever heard of who took a floundering franchise and turned them into a power house that other teams strive to be.
If that's the a parallel to Luke Skywalker in sports I don't know what is.
Yoda: Phil Jackson
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With his calm demeanor, yoga, and meditation is there any other sports personality who could be compared to the ultimate Jedi Master.
He has coached several young padawans like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Shaquille O'Neil to greatness.
He's also dealt with several Dark Jedi along the way and made them see the light like Dennis Rodman and Ron Artest.
Han Solo: Alexander Ovechkin
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He's fast, he's brash, and he backs up everything he says just like everyone's favorite smuggler.
Ovechkin like Solo only knows one way and that's his way.
Captain Solo came in and helped save the Rebel Alliance from the Empire. Captain Ovechkin was drafted and came in a saved the Capitals from being the obscure hockey team in our Nation's Capitol.
Ewoks: Soccer Players
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Ask the majority of Star Wars fans and they'll tell you they hate the Ewoks. Ask the majority of American sports fans and they'll tell you they hate soccer.
However both have their minority of fans. Many say the Rebels would have failed if it weren't for the bravery of those cute little teddy bears.
And soccer fans will explain to you the complexities of the game and so on.
But much like the Ewoks I don't get the joy of a 0-0 tie.
Obi-Wan: Mike Singletary
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As a Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi was a badass who could take down any challenger.
As a teacher and mentor to Anikan Skywalker he was a failure and his pupil turned to the Dark Side and doomed the galaxy.
As a linebacker for the Chicago Bears Mike Singletary was fierce and nothing stood in his way.
As a head coach he often looked befuddled and ultimately failed to lead the favored San Fransisco 49ers to an NFC West title in arguably the weakest division in all of football.
Anikan Skywalker: Sidney Crosby
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Like Anikan Sidney is young and seems to have unlimited potential, but also like Anikan he turns off a lot of fans with his constant whining.
Princess Leia: Layla Ali
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Both Princess Leia and Layla Ali are badass women who don't need a man to protect them. Also like Leia, Layla's father was quite the fighter himself.
Chewbacca: Clay Matthews
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Though not as hairy as Chewbacca I'm willing to bet good money if you beat Clay Matthews at chess he'll rip your arms off and beat you to death with them.
Jaba the Hutt: Albert Haynesworth
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In the Star Wars galaxy there isn't a character more vial, fat, and slovenly character as Jabba the Hutt and in the NFL there is one man that all the fans would agree fits that bill.
Boba Fett: Dion Sanders
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Boba Fett was the bounty hunter hired by Jabba the Hutt and Darth Vader to capture Han Solo. Dion Sanders was seemingly the NFL's Merc for Hire to capture passes thrown by quarterbacks.
Both Fett and Sanders oozed cool and flash that amassed them countless followers.
C-3P0 and R2-D2: Mike and Mike
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Mike Greenberg embodies C-3P0. He's a know-it-all that no one likes and annoys us more than he entertains us. Mike Golic, like R2, on the other hand is some what lovable and enjoyable to listen too even if we have rely on Greenie to translate sometimes.
Sadly like C-3P0 and R2 we can't have the likable one without the annoying one.
Darth Vader: Mike Tyson
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The very young and talented fighter who was one known as "The Baddest Man on the Planet" was soon turned to the darkside of money and woman and his career soon went down hill.
Then years after his decent he found redemption and peace, much like Darth Vader did (which if you payed attention to the message of the Star Wars Saga it's about Anikan's fall from grace and redemption).
May the Force Be with You
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I hope you enjoyed the slide show and I hope you have wonderful Star Wars day.
May the 4th be with you.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
