College Football: The 50 Greatest Names in History
We watch college football to be entertained and so we can build up memories that will endure long after the current broadcast is over.
We remember the great plays and the great games. We reminisce about watching the all-time greats take the field, in the hopes that one day we'll be able to tell our grandchildren about watching them play.
Part of the reason that we remember some things is that the involved names are great as well.
Sometimes, a player's name just screams football. Sometimes it's so ridiculous that you can't help but file it away in the recesses of your brain.
But one thing is for sure: you can't help but remember great names.
So without further ado, read on for the 50 greatest names in college football history. And be warned that there are copious amounts of puns.
50. Fred Biletnikoff
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The man for whom the Biletnikoff Award is named was a pretty good football player back in the day.
Fred Biletnikoff played for the Florida State Seminoles and was one of the best pass-catchers of the early 1960s.
It may have helped that he used copious amounts of Stickum to help catch the ball, but that's beside the point.
49. Mike Ditka
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Maybe it's because of his collegiate career, maybe it's because of his professional career or maybe it's because of his success as an anchor, but Mike Ditka's name is very much associated with football.
Personally, I would not want to be laid out by someone named Ditka.
48. Jerry Rice
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Among football fans, this name has become associated with greatness to such an extent that it has to be included.
When you hear the name Jerry Rice, you can't help but think about the greatest player to ever catch a football in the NFL. Don't forget that he went to Mississippi Valley State and excelled there as well.
It may not be glamorous, but the name has become great.
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47. Billy Cannon
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The 1959 Heisman Trophy winner and College Football Hall of Fame inductee from LSU ran like he was shot out of a cannon.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
46. Herschel Walker
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The Georgia superstar may have the word "walk" contained in his last name, but he moved at a much quicker pace when he was handed the pigskin.
In fact, he ran so fast that sometimes he actually did just walk into the end zone, so maybe it is appropriate.
45. Darius Passmore
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I find it hard to believe that Darius Passmore was ever satisfied with the amount of passes that his quarterback targeted him with.
I'm also surprised that this isn't the last name Chad Ochocinco chose to legally change Johnson to.
44. Red Grange
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One of the first superstars in college football, Red Grange would probably not have become quite the celebrity that he was without his name.
But hey, at least he had "The Galloping Ghost" as a nice backup option.
43. Knute Rockne
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Another classic name, Knute Rockne is the one given to the former Notre Dame head coach.
One of the best to ever hold a clipboard in his hands, Rockne is credited with popularizing the forward pass and as being one of the most renowned coaches of all-time.
It helps that he has a tough-as-nails name.
42. Zoltan Mesko
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Does a former Michigan punter really deserve this cool of a name?
Seriously.
I mean, he was one of the best in the nation at his job when he was kicking for the Wolverines, but still...
41. Roger Staubach
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Before he became a Dallas Cowboys legend, Roger Staubach was a very successful, Heisman-winning quarterback for Navy.
Staubach has one of those names that I can just hear being screamed out loud in elongated fashion quite successfully. It works for the quarterback.
40. Knowshon Moreno
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Both the first and the last name of this Georgia running back are stellar.
I can't help but want to know more about Knowshon Moreno.
39. Keith Toogood
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This name is just Toogood to be true.
Sorry, I had to get that one out of my system.
Keith Toogood was a placekicker for the Texas Tech Red Raiders and was too good for all the other kickers in the school's history, as he obliterated the record books.
38. Tank Carder
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Wearing tons of bands around each arm, this TCU linebacker and defensive end is quite fond of plowing into opposing quarterbacks like a tank.
For real, though, is there a better first name for a hard-hitting defensive player than Tank?
37. Monk Bonasorte
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From 1977-1980, Francis Joseph Bonasorte was a star defensive back for the Florida State Seminoles.
However, no one knew him by that name. Instead, everyone called him Monk.
He picked off quite a few prayers thrown by opposing quarterbacks too; enough that he held the school's single-season and career interception records when his collegiate career ended.
36. Ronald Reagan
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Yes, this is Ronald Reagan, the 40th President of the United States.
Back when he was in school at Eureka College, Reagan was a member of the football team, a captain of the swim team and the student body president. Then he went on to do some other fairly impressive things.
Lyndon Johnson, Gerald Ford and other presidents have played college football as well, but Reagan's name takes the cake.
35. Keyshawn Johnson
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Johnson may be a pretty generic last name. Not to insult it at all, but it's not the kind of name that gets you on a list like this.
As a first name though, Keyshawn definitely qualifies. Back when he was burning defensive backs for the Trojans of Southern California, Keyshawn Johnson was undoubtedly a fun name to scream out as he ran down the field.
34. Bronko Nagurski
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Another man for whom a trophy is named, Bronko Nagurski was a dominant fullback for Minnesota in the 1920s.
It didn't hurt at all that he posses not one, but two epic names. Additionally, the spelling of Bronko is pretty sweet.
33. Larry Csonka
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A premier football player in the 1960s, Larry Csonka played both running back and fullback for the Syracuse Orangemen.
It probably took until his third and final year for everyone to finally realize the correct pronunciation of his last name, but once they did, they realized just how great the name truly was.
Doesn't it just sound like it belongs to a player who could run right through you?
32. Nnamdi Asomugha
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Another player whose name I can inexplicably spell without cheating because of his greatness on the field, Nnamdi Asomugha was a California Golden Bear before he was a shutdown corner for the Oakland Raiders.
And let's be honest here. His name is pretty darn cool.
31. BenJarvus Green-Ellis
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The man who Bill Simmons recently coined "The Law Firm" wasn't satisfied with just one first name or one last name.
Instead, he had to have two of each. That's pretty great in my book.
30. Cory Lekkerkerker
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I challenge you to find me a name with more k's in it than this one, which belongs to a former UC-Davis offensive lineman.
Was one "ker" enough? No!
Were two "ker"s enough? No!
Were three "ker"s enough? No, but Cory's parents ran out of room on the birth certificate.
29. Major Applewhite
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Quarterbacks are known as field generals. Field generals are part of the military.
Major is a military rank.
It worked perfectly for this Texas quarterback.
28. Sonny Sixkiller
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A member of the Cherokee Nation, Sonny Sixkiller played quarterback for the University of Washington during the early 1970s and now serves as a commentator on the sport.
He has one of the best names of all-time for a quarterback, since each passing touchdown is worth six points and helps to kill the other team's hopes of winning.
Sixkiller did that quite often during the 1970 season, in which he led the NCAA in passing.
27. Colt McCoy
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With literally the perfect name for a Texas Longhorns quarterback, Colt McCoy enjoyed four years of success wearing burnt orange and remains college football's all-time leader in wins.
Tons of people have played off his last name and made jokes about how he's the "Real McCoy." Additionally, the first name just seems ideal for a Longhorn.
26. Jordan White-Frisbee
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As an ultimate Frisbee player, I really couldn't leave this one of the list.
And I'm pretty sure I know what color disc Jordan would bring to any pickup game I invited him to.
25. Michael Crabtree
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Michael Crabtree still haunts my dreams. I can still picture the catch at the end of the 2008 Texas-Texas Tech game that helped the Red Raiders upset the No. 1-ranked Longhorns.
I can't really put my finger on it, but there's just something about this wide receiver's name that really makes it stand out in my mind.
Maybe it's the uncommon combination of crabs and trees, two entities that really don't have anything to do with each other.
24. Chimdi Chekwa
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An All-American cornerback for the Ohio State Buckeyes last season, Chimdi Chekwa is supposed to go quite early in the upcoming 2011 NFL Draft.
If the draft was based on names alone though, he'd shoot up even higher on the draft boards.
23. Trent Steelman
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Is there a better name for a Army quarterback?
If there is, I can't think of one. Trent Steelman is absolutely perfect for this role.
22. Hercules Satele
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In Roman mythology, Hercules was a hero blessed with ridiculous amounts of strength.
It sounds to me like he'd make a pretty decent offensive lineman. Well, this Hercules wasn't too bad on the Hawai'i offensive line.
If he wasn't very good, Jupiter probably would have made him change his name.
21. Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala
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I will shamelessly admit that I have put Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala on my Madden teams quite a few times just so I could see his ridiculously awesome name on the back of a jersey.
The former Utah Ute has one of the most fun to pronounce names I've ever heard in any sport. I always wanted him to have a cooler first name, though.
But hey, you can't always get what you want. At least we occasionally got to hear stadiums yell "FUUUUUUUUUU" whenever he did something impressive.
20. Edgar Allan Poe
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No, this is not the famous poet.
Instead, it's the more renowned Poe's second cousin, twice removed. They just happen to share the same name.
This Poe was simply an All-American quarterback for an undefeated Princeton squad in 1889, part of a distinguished career for the Tigers.
But then Poe had to say "nevermore" to his football career and move on to a career in politics.
19. Yourhighness Morgan
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Can you imagine having to walk up to this Florida State Seminole and having to ask, "Yes, Yourhighness?"
Talk about stuck up! He doesn't have to make you feel like you're treating him as royalty.
Well actually, yes, he does.
18. T.J. Houshmandzadeh
33 of 50Just watch the video, which prominently features the name of former Oregon State wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh.
See what I mean?
17. Preacher Pilot
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Even though I couldn't find a picture of Preacher Pilot, he still has to be on this list.
He played running back for the New Mexico State Aggies in the 1960s and was one of the nation's leading rushers during his collegiate career.
Preacher was born James Pilot, but his grandmother gave him the nickname that stuck when he was very young.
16. Golden Tate
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Isn't it appropriate that a Notre Dame wide receiver is named Golden? After all, the Fighting Irish's colors are gold and navy.
Tate was an incredible receiver during his time at South Bend and is now attempting to have similar success as a Seattle Seahawk.
15. Tshimanga Biakabutuka
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The Michigan running back went by Tim Biakabutuka at one point, just because Tshimanga Biakabutuka was way too much of a mouthful.
It's kind of fun to say, though. You can't say Biakabutuka with out smiling just a little bit.
And just to clarify Mr. Biakabutuka, you could cut out your first name entirely, and it would still be a mouthful.
14. Boomer Esiason
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As if the last name wasn't great enough already, Boomer Esiason was lucky enough to have a superb first name too.
It may not be the name on his birth certificate, that would be Norman Julius, but Boomer was the name his mother gave to him as soon as he started kicking around in the womb.
13. Prince Amukamara
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Prince Amukamara was football royalty at the University of Nebraska while he was one of the great shutdown cornerbacks in all of college football.
Now, he'll attempt to become one of the first defensive backs selected in the 2011 NFL Draft. With a prince's blood flowing through his veins and a last name like Amukamara, he must be able to succeed.
12. Ndamukong Suh
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This name still strikes fear into my heart.
I can still picture Ndamukong Suh using just one arm to yank down Texas offensive players in the 2009 Big 12 Championship Game as the crowd elongated his last name into a terrifying "SUHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
When people can correctly spell Ndamukong without thinking about it, you know you've made it big.
11. Rock Cartwright
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A running back for the Kansas State Wildcats, Rock Cartwright was quite good at, well, carrying the Rock.
He's a compact, 5'8" player, so his name fits absolutely perfectly.
10. Mister Simpson
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A former Michigan running back, Mr. Simpson carried the ball a staggering two times in 2006 and that was it for his collegiate career.
More notably, he's one of the few people in the world that will get confused if you call him Mr. Simpson because he won't know if you're being formal or just using his full name.
9. Fair Hooker
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A wide receiver for Arizona State, Fair Hooker inspired Don Meredith to opine, "Fair Hooker? I haven't met one yet."
That alone justifies Hooker's inclusion on this list.
8. Bacarri Rambo
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A current defensive back for the Georgia Bulldogs, this man's name was once Bacarri Fudge. But in grade school, he decided to change his last name to Rambo so he would sound tougher and more intimidating.
Now, he has one of the best names in all of college football. I'd say the change worked.
7. I.M. Hipp
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Is he hip?
He claims so.
6. Elvis Peacock
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A man with the last name Peacock probably isn't going to get too much respect on the football field.
Unless his first name is Elvis, of course.
This combination is incredibly unlikely, but somehow this Oklahoma running back pulled it off.
5. William Shakespeare
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The man pictured to the left did not actually play football. In fact, if he even existed, he published all of his works well before the idea for the sport was even conceived.
But another William Shakespeare did. This man played halfback for Notre Dame in the early 1930s and was both an All-American and a posthumous member of the College Football Hall of Fame.
Obviously, people played off of his name as he received nicknames like "The Bard of Staten Island," "The Bard of South Bend" and "The Merchant of Menace."
4. Pistol Pete Pedro
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Playing at the same time as Preacher Pilot, Pistol Pete Pedro was another one of the nation's leading running backs during the 1962 season.
He played for West Texas State and dominated the competition, despite standing just 5'6". His real name was Peter Charles, but he will forever be known by this more fun name.
3. Dick Butkus
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Even if you don't interpret this name with a bit of potty humor, it's still great.
Dick Butkus has become a legend and is still prominently featured in many commercials simply because his name is so iconic and memorable.
No one calls him Dick. No one calls him Butkus. The names have to go together.
2. D'Brickashaw Ferguson
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When it came to stopping defensive linemen from getting into the Virginia backfield, Ferguson was like a brick wall.
If I had to design a name for an offensive lineman, this would probably be pretty high up on the list of possibilities. Plus, the "D'" at the beginning and the extra "a" in the middle add a nice touch.
1. Immaculate Perfection Harris
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A former Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket, Immaculate Perfection Harris is actually this man's real name.
He shortened it to I-Perfection Harris at one point, but still.
To make matters worse, his brother's name is Supreme Justice Harris.
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