10 Best EPL Players With Double Letters in Their Surnames: Rooney, Torres & More
The English Premier League is always a blindingly bright diamond pit of top soccer talent. The 2010-11 season is certainly no exception to that rule. Yet something seems to have aligned in the stars this year, as a number of the EPLโsโand indeed, the worldโsโtop players sport consecutive like letters in their surnames.
If there is any doubt to the veracity of this claim, simply look beyond the EPL for proof: Messi, Villa, Etoโo, Robben, Casillas, Buffon, Ballack and more display the same striking phenomenon.
Wayne Rooney
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The double โOโ in the middle of this United wunderkindโs surname resembles lemniscate, or the mathematical symbol for infinity: โ. Thus the English striker is linked inextricably to the enigmatic current of endlessness that flows through all things.
Like a cruel and magical harlot, infinity gives and takes power at will. While Rooney was in superb form for a number of years, his surname has conspired against him in the Red Devilsโ 2010-11 campaign, revoking his lordly power and bestowing it jointly upon Chicharito and Berbatov.
Ryan Giggs
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Thereโs not much to say that hasnโt already been said regarding the astronomical talent and fierce loyalty of Welshman Ryan Giggs. This season he notched his 600th performance for Manchester United, a feat beyond description.
Giggs doesnโt just have a double โGโ in his last nameโheโs got three โGโsโ all together. There they sit, crest across his Red Devils jersey like the arched entrance to some divine chamber of heavenly portent.
These letters provide Giggs with exceptional striking talent, adaptability, creativity and wisdom. It boils down to one thing: Giggs, Great Guy. There could be no more apt assessment. ย
Fernando Torres
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Perhaps the reason that this fleet-footed Spanish goal machine is rearing and ready to leave Liverpool and the Merseyside faithful behind is the double โRโ in his surname: he is both Rearing and Ready.
Though the wide world of soccer will wait for bated breath on news of Torresโ potential departure to Chelsea, the fortification and symmetry of his surname was never in doubt. It is a three-part name: โToโ โRrโ โEs.โ
Is it mere coincidence that his name starts with the English word โToโ and ends with the Spanish word โIsโ? Is it from this convocation of languages that Torres derives his power?
Steven Gerrard
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Liverpool FC is many thingsโgreat, storied, historical, proud, branded, wealthy and more. One also finds amidst that cavalcade of personality traits a distinctly negative characteristic: greed. Who do these Merseyside men think they are, hoarding the two best double โRโ players in Britain, and perhaps the world?
Again, we must wonder if the double โRโ figures at all into Torresโ desire to leave Anfield. Steven Gerrard is fit and back on the pitch. Is there truly room for two consecutive โRโ superstars on one team? Does Torres feel threatened by Gerrardโs triple โRโ surname?
Only time will tell...
Tim Cahill
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There must be magic lurking in that double โL,โ because Cahill is one of the most form players in the EPL this season. Were it not for his goal scoring prowess and all-consuming will to winโor at least drawโEverton would surely be in the thick of the relegation battle.
Despite having missed four full games during Evertonโs current campaign, Cahill is sitting on nine goals and four assists as of this writing.
Consider this: โAโ is the first letter in the alphabet. โLโ is the last letter of the first half of the alphabet. Pienaar left Everton while Cahill remained. Coincidence? We think not.
As the prophecy says, โeither must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.โ
Rafael Van Der Vaart
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The arrival of Van Der Vaart has precipitated a new era in Spursโ history. While the team finished with surprising strength and a top-four table position last season, such flukes are common in the history of sport. With the arrival of Van Der Vaart at the beginning of the 2010-11 season, the team fortified itself. Tottenham has become a genuine force within the EPL.
Whether Harry Redknapp and the Tottenham administration were aware of it or not, there is powerful sorcery involved in Van Der Vaartโs arrival and the heralding of a new era at White Hart Lane. Being the first letter of the alphabet, โAโ holds special powers of rejuvenation. A double โAโ is doubly powerful.
Andy Carroll
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Double word score for Andy Carroll! This young Briton combines the powerful double โRโ of Torres with the incisive double โLโ of Cahill for a striking combination of midfield creativity and prolific striking ability.
Carroll is one of the great superstars of the 2010-11 EPL season, and itโs no mere coincidence that it has happened in the year in which a player with two double letters in his surname turned 22.
Despite having missed four consecutive games for Newcastle on account of injury, Carroll has the third highest goal total of the season as of this writingโ11โbehind Berbatov and Tevez, as well as six assists.ย ย
Theo Walcott
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Arsenalโs young attacking midfielder has proven indispensable to the Gunnersโ this season. He scores goals when needed and is a key provider of assists for the teamโs other attacking threats.
Theo is blessed with something quite interesting. His last name ends with the same letter his first name begins with. Itโs almost as though he exists in a world of endless rebirth, as though he is spinning through a whirling vortex in which the end of his being is the begin of his being are one and the sameโyin and yang.
Therein lies his power.
John Terry
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This philandering defensive stalwart is yet another bearer of the double โRโ flame. Itโs been suggestedโby Wayne Bridge, among othersโthat the two โRโsโ in Terryโs surname stand for "randy rapscallion."
Terryโs return from injury has contributed to the resurgence of the Blues over the past few weeks. This surge in form has seen Chelsea gallop past Tottenham straight into fourth place, only four points behind City.
Michael Essien
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There is a spectacular power in the double โSโ of this Ghanaian powerhouseโs surname. Aside from the unfortunate historical association with the secret police of the Third Reich, such a succession of crooked letters often proves fortuitous: Steve Spielberg, Steven Seagal, Sylvester Stallone, Sammy Sosa.
Rather than spread those letters over the course of his first and last name, Chelseaโs midfield talent packs them together in his surname. Essien is a great and pacey player who, despite a lengthy injury spell during the 2010-11 season, has had a profoundly positive impact on the squad this season.
Honorable Mention
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Steven Pienaar โ If Van Der Vaartโs arrival to Tottenham made an impact, image the quadruple power effect that will descend upon White Hart Lane like a strike of benevolent lightning when the South African international and the flying Dutchman link up on the attackโ"aaaa!"
Jussi Jaaskelainen โ Looking at the Bolton keeperโs surname is enough to make a lesser manโs head explode. Faced with pronouncing it, most will be reduced to tears. Those who do attempt to say it are commonly faced with shame and forced to disembowel themselves in order to save face.
To break it down: A double โSโ in the given name. A double โAโ in the surname. Three โAโsโ total in the surname. Initials of โJJ.โ An โEโ bracketed by a pair of menacing โNโs.โ Itโs almost as though the power of the manโs name has usurped his power as a player, leading to myriad chances by opposition strikers to toss the ball into the back of Boltonโs net. ย
Frederic Piquionne โ Piquionne is one of the less visible heroes of the 2010-11 EPL season, but if it werenโt for his goal scoring and assisting prowess, West Ham wouldnโt have the proverbial snowballโs chance in hell of staying up this season. And there are those who argue that they still donโt, despite this Frenchmanโs best efforts.
