NCAA Football Week 10 Picks Against the Spread Guaranteed To Win, Lose or Push

Andrew MillerCorrespondent INovember 4, 2010

Wake up, Kellen! Wake up!
Wake up, Kellen! Wake up!Otto Kitsinger III/Getty Images

I would have sounded a lot smarter if I wrote what I thought regarding the Boise State vs. TCU debate two weeks ago.

The only problem with sharing my opinion? There wasn't any debate up until, well, now. If one of the small schools was going to steal a spot in the BCS Championship game, it was supposed to be the Broncos of Boise State.

If Boise didn't feel as if they controlled their own destiny before, what with teams from the power conferences jumping them in the standings as if they were standing still, the Broncos must be grasping for straws now.

If I were a senior on that team, I would feel as if I'd been living in an Inception-style nightmare since January. Just when I thought I woke up -- after beating Virginia Tech on Labor Day -- and the media admitted we might be pretty good, the Hokies lost to James Madison, Oregon State's second best player went down with a gruesome knee injury, Nevada lost to Hawai'i, and TCU gained the inside track to the National Championship.

You know, the same TCU we beat in the Fiesta Bowl last year. The team with Andy Freaking Dalton as its quarterback.

So now I think I'm in a third-level dream, except no one will explain anything. Instead they keep telling me to just go with it, it's a fun ride! The guy to my left is pretending he's someone else, which is clever because during dreams, we may mistake general representations of others with actual people, but the problem is that he never once explains his job, so he just seems like a cheap, lazy trick.

I try to shoot myself in order to wake up but they say I can't do that because in this specific situation doing so would send me to limbo instead of real life. I'm told my ending could be a dream or it could be real but it doesn't matter because if it's real to me who cares what the truth is?

Sorry about that. There was a point in there somewhere before my head exploded. Let me see if I can find it.

Ah yes. Boise State's year-long (perhaps that's underestimating the length) nightmare is about to reach its lowest point on Saturday if BCS No. 3 TCU beats BCS No. 5 Utah.

I don't think the Boise faithful planned on having a rematch with Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl this year while watching TCU play Oregon for the National Championship.

So now that I've compared the last 11 months for the Boise State Broncos with the movie Inception, I think it's just about time to make some picks. Home team in CAPS, picks in bold

Georgia Tech (+13) over VIRGINIA TECH.

I'm undefeated picking Thursday night games this year, so watch out. Choosing this game is pretty simple: the ACC stinks, so pick the big underdog in every contest because the favorites should never be favored by that many points to begin with. Sound good?

Illinois (+3) over MICHIGAN.

I'm sorry, Wolverines fans. I really am. I too thought Rich Rod had turned it around for real this year. Once again, we were fooled. 

But seriously, what at all has Michigan done in a month, and more generally the last three years in Big Ten play, to deserve laying three points at home against Illinois?

For those of you scratching your head, the answer is nothing. I'm making this number up off the top of my head (but I think it's accurate): Michigan is 3-19 in the Big Ten under Rich Rodriguez.

Okay I just looked it up because I'm not quite that lazy and irresponsible. The actual record is 4-16. I was close!

How unhappy were you, Michigan fans, when the NCAA ruled in favor of good ol' Richie boy on Wednesday?

Baylor (+7.5) over OKLAHOMA STATE.

Consider this another knife in Boise State's back; Baylor, who got obliterated by TCU, may play for the Big 12 Title. Ouch.

KANSAS (+8.5) over Colorado.

I have no interest in this game, but I don't think I'm alone on that one.

It's just, wow. This has to be the worst game of the year between two teams from BCS conferences, right?

BOISE STATE (-21) over Hawai'i.

The Broncos could win this by 60 and no one would care. Have I mentioned I feel awful about this yet?

OREGON (-36) over Washington.

I've covered the Jake Locker topic quite depressingly here. I'm so sorry Washington, but it's time to get out before the toxins overwhelm you.

UTAH (+5) over TCU.

Aha! There is hope, Boise State! Utah will win this game, Andy Freaking Dalton will be exposed as the awful quarterback he is, and the Broncos will live to see another day!

Unfortunately, when Utah jumps Boise State in the BCS Rankings, we'll be right back to level-three dreaming with no escape in sight.

Alabama (-6.5) over LSU.

The one time I pick Les Miles to keep it within six points, he can't do it. Does that man ever do what you ask of him?

STANFORD (-9.5) over Arizona.

Everyone has forgotten that Stanford is really, really, really good. Consider this game a friendly reminder.

Last Week: 5-6-0

Season to Date: 26-22-3


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