2010-11 NBA Final Standings: Miami Heat Win the Title Despite the Haters

After picking up an NBA season preview magazine and quickly perusing the 2010-11 schedule, I decided to go through every game of the entire season and predict the winners of every single game. That is all 82 games of all 30 teams, day by day.

It was easy because I'm a genius. Through the schedule I found that this season may actually be worthy of respect by NBA standards for the first time since—1998. 

The league seems to have more evenly matched teams now. It is cliche to pick the Lakers to win it all, but they absolutely will not. Miami will win it all, despite the haters. P.S. I actually only like the Miami franchise because they retired No. 23, not because of LeBron (prick), Wade (weenie) and Bosh (baby).

Kobe will be exposed as the total pretender he always was (when compared to Mike), just like he proved it in last year's Game 7. Six for 24 from the field! Ha Ha Ha. I will always remember that. Trying to be like Mike? That shit was hilarious! Miss, miss, miss. Awesome! Please do recall MJ in Game 1 of the 1992 Finals! Remember when the NBA was awesome?

Jordan won't be enough to help the Bobcats this year, though...because he's not playing.

Here it is (barring any big midseason trades or injuries):

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Atlantic Division

1. Boston Celtics, 58-24

2. New York Knicks, 38-44

3. Philadelphia 76ers, 26-56

4. Toronto Raptors, 24-58

5. New Jersey Nets, 19-63

Central Division

1. Milwaukee Bucks, 50-32

2. Chicago Bulls, 49-33

3. Indiana Pacers, 27-55

4. Cleveland Cavaliers, 24-58

5. Detroit Pistons, 19-63

Southeast Division

1. Miami Heat, 68-14

2. Atlanta Hawks, 56-26

3. Orlando Magic, 54-28

4. Charlotte Bobcats, 39-43

5. Washington Wizards, 31-51

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Southwest Division

1. Dallas Mavericks, 56-26

2. San Antonio Spurs, 50-32

3. New Orleans Hornets, 46-36

4. Memphis Grizzlies, 42-40

5. Houston  Rockets, 42-40

Northwest Division

1. Denver Nuggets, 52-30

2. Utah Jazz, 52-30

3. Oklahoma City Thunder, 51-31

4. Portland Trailblazers, 46-36

5. Minnesota Timberwolves, 16-66

Pacific Division

1. Los Angeles Lakers, 55-27

2. Phoenix Suns, 49-33

3. Los Angeles Clippers, 37-45

4. Golden State Warriors, 32-50

5. Sacramento Kings, 29-53

Playoff Seedings, Eastern Conference

1. Miami Heat (68-14)

2. Boston Celtics (58-24)

3. Atlanta Hawks (56-26

4. Orlando Magic (54-28)

5. Milwaukee Bucks (50-32)

6. Chicago Bulls (49-33)

7. Charlotte Bobcats (39-43)

8. New York Knicks (38-44)

Playoff Seedings, Western Conference

1. Dallas Mavericks (56-26)

2. Los Angeles Lakers (55-27)

3. Denver Nuggets (52-30)

4. Utah Jazz (52-30)

5. Oklahoma City Thunder (51-31)

6. San Antonio Spurs (50-32)

7. Phoenix Suns (49-33)

8. New Orleans Hornets (46-36)

Playoffs Round 1, Eastern Conference

Miami vs. New York: Winner, Miami, 4-0 (NY will be taken out quickly by Big Three, but at least they made it)

Boston vs. Charlotte: Winner, Boston 4-1 (Boston will roll past inexperienced Bobcats; MJ's pissed)

Atlanta vs. Chicago: Winner, Atlanta 4-3 (Atlanta wins because of home-court advantage)

Orlando vs. Milwaukee: Winner, Orlando 4-2 (not an easy task for Orlando, but it has to be done)

Playoffs Round 1, Western Conference

Dallas vs. New Orleans: Winner, Dallas 4-3 (Dallas gets out of first round! Barely)

Los Angeles vs. Phoenix: Winner, Los Angeles 4-2 (Gasol and inside game takes it to Suns)  

Denver vs. San Antonio: Winner, Denver 4-2 (The end of an awesome era for Spurs—bye, Tim)

Utah vs. Oklahoma City: Winner, Oklahoma City 4-3 (Man, that kid Durant can score)

Eastern Conference Semifinals

Miami vs. Orlando: Winner, Miami 4-1 (Sorry, I don't think so, Dwight and Vince)

Boston vs. Atlanta: Winner, Boston 4-3 (Hawks make it fun, but Celtics just too good come time)

Western Conference Semifinals

Dallas vs. Oklahoma City: Winner, Dallas 4-3 (One man team OKC loses in valiant effort)

Los Angeles vs. Denver: Winner, Los Angeles (Kobester exposed once and for all—it's over, esse. He's so not MJ! ha ha)

Eastern Conference Finals 

Miami vs. Boston: Winner, Miami 4-3 (these guys go off in Game 7...big time)

Western Conference Finals

Dallas vs Denver: Winner, Dallas 4-3 (evenly matched teams—decided by Kidd and Nowitzki)

2011 NBA Finals

Miami vs. Dallas: Winner, Miami

No matter how much hate comes their way—these guys are the best all year—despite a few little injuries—D. Wade—gets his 2nd Finals MVP—they take out the older Mavericks four games to one.

A new era has begun—and the NBA gets tired of hyping Mr. Old and Nasty—Kobe Bryant—

Sayanora, dude—you tried to be like Mike—but failed all the way—LeBron is a champion—eat it, Haters!