The Funniest South Park Sports Parodies Ever

Adam LazarusSenior Analyst IOctober 11, 2010

The Funniest South Park Sports Parodies Ever

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    Pop culture followers are all abuzz because South Park is going to spoof MTV's The Jersey Shore in this week's episode.

    This comes a week after the Season Premier that featured a fairly scathing satire of NASCAR and NASCAR fans. Of course, it was all in jest and (hopefully) intended to knock down stereotypes.

    But through it's 14-year run, the show has a rich history of spoofing, mocking, or down-right blasting sports figures and sporting events.

    Here's a countdown of the ten most memorable such cases. And you will respect ma authoritay on this one!

    (As South Park's pre-show warning declares, the voices used in these sports parodies are never those of the actual celebrity)

Honorable Mention: NASCAR's Turn To Be Spoofed

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    In case you missed it, here is a clip from "Poor and Stupid" in which Catrman tries to become a NASCAR driver.

Honorable Mention: Kyle Tries Desperatley To Fit In At Basketball

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    Episode: "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina"

    Air Date: March 9, 2005

    Kyle is apparently a pretty good basketball player. In one episode, he really schools Cartman with his one-on-one moves.

    But in this episode, he just doesn't look the part and undergoes drastic measures to do so. If you've seen the episode, you know the results are not good.

    We'll just leave it at that.

No. 10: Jay Cutler Gets Taken Down A Peg

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    Episode: "Guitar Queer-O"

    Air Date: November 7, 2007

    When Stan and Kyle became Guitar Hero legends they were invited to a luxurious coke-and-hooker filled party at a mansion owned by one of Colorado's big wigs.

    There they met many local stars, including then-Denver Broncos rookie quarterback, Jay Cutler.

    The boys were excited to meet him but Stan mentioned that "my dad says you kinda suck but might be good one day" to which Cutler sunk his head in despair.

    Perhaps Josh McDaniels saw the signs just as early as the boys did. Now he's Lovie Smith's problem.

No. 9: Lakers Guards And South Park

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 17:  Kobe Bryant #24 of the Los Angeles Lakers celebrates with Earvin 'Magic' Johnson after the Lakers defeated the Boston Celtics in Game Seven of the 2010 NBA Finals at Staples Center on June 17, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
    Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

    Episode: "Here Comes The Neighboorhood"

    Air Date: November 28, 2001

    A few years before he ran into much more trouble in Eagle, the Lakers star moved to South Park, Coloardo in the episode.

    Friends like Will Smith, Snoop Dogg, Oprah and Puff Daddy joined him there but were not warmly received because they were rich. Of course that's not entirely what we are led to believe.

    Still, at least for a short time, the Black Mamba was a resident of South Park.

    Years later, in the episode entitled "Tonsil Trouble," the Cartman and Kyle track down Magic Johnson and seek his (somewhat) medical advice.

    Next up in the Laker greats guard chain: Jerry West? Probably not.

No. 8: A.J. Feeley Is Not Loved By Cartman

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    ST. LOUIS, MO - AUGUST 14: A.J. Feeley #4 of the St. Louis Rams passes the ball against the Minnesota Vikings during the preseason game at Edward Jones Dome on August 14, 2010 in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
    Joe Robbins/Getty Images

    Episode: "Trapped In The Closet"

    Air Date: November 16, 2005

    Matt Stone and Trey Parker seem to be huge NFL fans. And, naturally, quarterbacks garner most of the spoofing.

    Lost in the controversy of this episode--the one that rather negatively portrays of Scientologists and Tom Cruise--is the fact that another "celebrity" was blasted.

    When Cartman discovers an A.J. Feeley in the pack of football trading cards he opens he is pretty dismayed, declaring that he "got another crappy A.J. Feeley!"

    It was fitting that they chose Feeley to carry the flag for an unwanted NFL quarterback: The Rams backup is with his fifth different team in six years.

No. 7: John Cena, Edge In A War Of Words

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    Drew Hallowell/Getty Images

    Episode: "W.T.F"

    Air  Date: October 21, 2009

    In this episode, Cena and Edge face each other in the ring at a WWE event in Colorado.

    The boys are enthralled by the contest but more so with the smacktalking and soap-opera plotlines than the actual "wrastling"

    The episode is mostly about how the gang started their own wrestling league, to which Vince McMahon even attends a match.

    But the disparity between "professional wrestling" and "real wrestling" (i.e. Olympic wrestling) is not lost on the South Park creators.

No. 6: John Elway and The Many Broncos References

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    31 Jan 1999:   John Elway #7 of the Denver Broncos passes the ball during Superbowl XXXIII against the Atlanta Falcons at the Pro Player Stadium in Miami, Florida. The Broncos defeated the Falcons 34-19. Mandatory Credit: Rick Stewart  /Allsport
    Rick Stewart/Getty Images

    Episode: Multiple Episodes

    Air Date: Multiple Seasons

    Elway retired from the NFL in early 1999. But for the South Park creators he may as well have never left....wishful thinking on the part of two Broncos fans.

    Prior to his retirement, Elway and the entire 1991 (or 1989, depending on which episode) appeared in the episode explaining who Cartman's father was: the two-parter, "Cartman's Mom Is.......". They were among the many suspects who caught the attention of Cartman's (sort-of) Mom at the annual "Drunken Barn Dance."

    In the later episode, "All About Mormons," Elway appears again: Stan's talented Mormon friend, Gary, makes him a wallet with Elway carved into the leather. In another episode, "The Wacky Molestation Adventure," many of the towns children build a large Elway statue and declare it "The Provider."

    And of course, in "It's Christmas Time In Canada" Stan says he is going to ask his parents for the "John Elway doll with karate-chop action."

No. 5: Wing Competes on The Contender

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    Episode: "Wing"

    Air Date: March 23, 2005

    The Sylvester Stallone parody is funny enough. But seeing the "delicate flower" named Wing--a slender Chinese immigrant woman who sings--compete in a boxing match as a contestant on Stallone's short-lived reality boxing show, The Contender, that's pretty hilarious.

    Wing--who had intended to be a contestant on American Idol--bravely enters the ring and sings her heart out during the match. Naturally she is walloped.

    Despite the repeated blows, Cartman is impressed nonetheless with at least one of her boxing bona fides: "She's got a hell of a chin on her, I'll give her that!"

No. 4 (Tie): The Boys Hate Little League

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    Episode: "The Losing Edge"

    Air Date: April 6, 2005

    Hopefully, not every child in America shares the same hatred for little league baseball as the South Park youth does in this one.

    Throughout the episode the boys do everything they can to lose their little league games so the season will be over and they can return to playing video games.

    But all the other teams in the area feel the same way and try to lose too. So it turns into a reverse-competition and it's pretty clever how the boys have to basically try at baseball--recognizing strikes and balls--without trying to win.

    Stan's father, Randy Marsh, and his drunken fighting as a little league parent is spot on, as is the overly obsessive father on another team, "Batdad."

    And spoofing the end of Rocky V--Rocky's fight with Tommy Gunn in the alleyway, in which the ghost of Mickey speaks to him--was yet another masterstroke.

No. 4 (Tie): The Detroit Red Wings Are Ferocious

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    CHICAGO - OCTOBER 09: Chris Osgood #30 of the Detroit Red Wings is congratulated by teammates Todd Bertuzzi #44, Jiri Hudler #26 and Nicklas Lidstrom #5 after a win over the Chicago  Blackhawks at the United Center on October 9, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois.
    Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    Episode: "Stanley's Cup"

    Air Date: November 15, 2006

    Stan coaches a pee-wee hockey team (basically a spoof on The Mighty Ducks), one that is powered by young dynamo, Kyle's brother Ike--naturally great because he is a Canadian. 

    But their pivotal game against another team at halftime of an NHL game at the Pepsi Center is sadly canceled.

    Fortunately, the Colorado Avalanche players allow the pee-wee team to take their place so they can at least compete. But there opponents, the Detroit Red Wings, do not take it easy on the Kindergartners.

    Checks and violent hits are still part of the game and they Red Wings happily win the game.

No. 3: Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi and Mark McGwire Are Cheaters

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    SAN FRANCISCO - OCTOBER 08:  Baseball player Barry Bonds looks on during the Day One Foursome Matches of The Presidents Cup at Harding Park Golf Course on October 8, 2009 in San Francisco, California.  (Photo by Warren Little/Getty Images)
    Warren Little/Getty Images

    Episode: "Up The Down Steroid"

    Air Date: March 24, 2004

    Jimmy Swanson's heartfelt admission to cheating at the Special Olympics allows the South Park guys to chastise a few of baseball's most well known PED-users.

    The episode aired right around the time of the congressional steroid hearings that took place in 2004 and South Park weighed in.

    Cartoon figures of Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, and Jason Giambi were in attendance at the Special Olympics as a treat for the participants. But (without repeating the profane dialogue) we learn that Trey Parker and Matt Stone don't think too highly of those who used steroids in baseball.

No. 2: Tiger Woods, Ben Roethlisberger, and Michael Jordan Are Spoofed

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    Episode: "Sexual Healing"

    Air Date: March 17, 2010

    The episode is mainly about Tiger Woods and how his sex scandals leads to an "epidemic" among the nation.

    Stone and Parker do a great job with the portrayal of Tiger, his soon-to-be-ex-wife Elin, and even Woods' video game. The fact that golf is "boring" without all the Tiger scandal is a nice jab.

    But the presence of Michael Jordan, and especially Ben Roethlisberger, at the Sexaholics meeting makes this one of the greatest spoofs South Park has ever done.

    Roethlisberger's dumb-guy voice and comment, "duhhhh, don't have sex in da public baffrooms," perfectly captured the  negative, clueless image Roethlisberger projected with his most recent scandal.

No. 1: Bill Belichick Cheats And No One Cares

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    Episode: "Eek, A Penis!"

    Air Date: April 9, 2008

    Trying to inspire his students at a poor, underfunded mostly Hispanic high school--a spoof of the inspirational movie Stand and Deliver--teacher Eric Cartmanez tells his students a lesson about the New England Patriots head coach.

    In short, Cartmanez (aka Cartman, trying to channel Edward James Olmos' character, Jaime Escalante) unfolds the facts relating to Belichick's Spy-Gate controversy of 2007.

    As Cartman explains, Bill "Bill-i-chick" cheated but got away with it by saying that he simply "mis-interpret ted the rules."

    The way in which he applies that method to other avenues of life is typical, pushing-the-envelope South Park. And since they used an actual photo of Belichick and imply that the Pats lost Super Bowl XLII because they didn't cheat, the episode is an all-time classic.