In Memoriam: The George Steinbrenner Story

On Tuesday, July 13, 2010, George Steinbrenner, the most prolific owner in American sports, passed away at the age of 80.  Love him or hate him, or really, really hate him, he turned baseball into what it is today – a sport symbolizing everything that makes America, more specifically, capitalism great to Yankees fans, and the downfall of American society, more specifically, a flaw in the free market system to fans of other teams, including the Yankees many Triple A farm clubs, i.e. the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Kansas City Royals, the Washington Nationals, et al.   

Though he was typically known as an irrational, reactionary blowhard, the man was undoubtedly a great business man and a huge baseball fan.  His desire to win at all costs (reaching more than a billion dollars throughout this past decade) proved to be successful after the 1994 work stoppage and subsequent Collective Bargaining Agreement that we now adhere to came into play.

His oversized personality was on wide display for all to see, yet most people really don’t know the reasonable man beneath the harsh veneer.  Here, for your education, is the biography of the one they called Mr. Steinbrenner:

STEINBRENNER:  The Unauthorized Biography*

*Number of sources used in research (0)

George Michael Steinbrenner III was born on Independence Day in 1930.  Known best as the principal owner of the New York Yankees, he was also known as “The Boss,” “the guy who ruined baseball,” “Steinfuhror,” “Darth Steinbrenner,” “****sucker,” and “Tiny” to his friends at the golf club.

Born in Rocky River, Ohio, young Georgie grew up in a suburb of Cleveland during the Great Depression.  During those lean years, he was forced to sell apples off a cart to help his family make ends meet.  But other vendors complained when he would steal the best apples off of their carts and put them with his own.

Known as a shrewd kickball captain in grade school, he always found the best players by giving them more cookies than the other captains.  His teams set records for best offensive production for a team and consecutive wins (42).  Most of the fourth graders on his team were later found out to be between 12 and 14 years old, thus requiring an asterisk by their records.

As a young man, he matriculated at Williams College where he ran track while majoring in Business Ethics until he flunked out.  Given another chance, George changed his major to sports management.  After flunking again, he settled on poetry; coming in third in his fraternity’s annual dirty Limerick contest.

After graduation, he joined the United States Air Force and became the first enlisted man to put an offer into the government to buy the Air Force, thereby forcing the government to discharge him dishonorably, burning his records and disavowing any knowledge of his ever participating in the armed forces. 

He returned to his home state where he coached high school basketball and football in Columbus before becoming an assistant football coach at Northwestern University.  He was relieved of his coaching duties after one morning when he got into a disagreement with the head coach and fired him.  When the Athletic Director informed Coach Steinbrenner that he did not have the authority to fire other coaches, George fired him too.

Deciding it best that he focus more on a family at that point, George married Joan Zieg, in a small civil ceremony in 1956.  They divorced in 1958, remarried in 1959, divorced again six months later, remarried, divorced again the following spring, and then remarried.  The third marriage was not recognized however as he failed to realize that she was married to someone else at the time.  Finally, they remained married for almost 50 years consecutively. 

With his wife locked up in a long-term deal, he went back to work, this time joining his father’s struggling shipbuilding business, the American Shipbuilding Company, a year later.

Stealing some money from his daughter’s Girl Scout troop’s hedge fund they kept for a trip to Disney World, George bought the Cleveland Pipers of the National Industrial Basketball League.  The team went bankrupt and he went back to the ship company, eventually buying it.

After failing in his bid to buy the Cleveland Indians (whom he continually referred to as the “Cleveland Whateverthey’recalleds”) he joined a group of investors to buy the Yankees for $10 million in 1973.

After announcing at his press conference, “I won’t be active in the day-to-day operations of the club at all,” he changed his tune quickly.  In his first year as owner, he ordered the carpet pattern changed in his office a record 16 times, prompting the facilities department and maintenance staff to go on strike for two months in mid-July.

During games, he would routinely pull vendors aside and criticize their selling technique.  This prompted the Concessionaires Union to fine him $20,000 and ban him from the concession stands during games.

At this time, free agency was becoming popular in the major leagues.  It proved to be a boon for Steinbrenner for in 1974, he bought Catfish Hunter, then he bought Richard Nixon, then, during a particularly wet spell that summer, he bought the weatherman and ordered him to stop the rain.  That latter maneuver got both him and the weatherman suspended for two years.

Upon return from his suspension, his team won the first of seven World Championships under his reign.  But the fans’ arrogance and their growing familiarization with winning began to show after losing the ALCS in 1980 and the World Series in 1981 as they became disenchanted with his ownership.  After Game Five that year, George got into a scuffle with two fans in an elevator that left him with a broken hand, a fat lip, and a bruised goiter.  The fans, Mildred Schuster, 93, and Catherine Dinovio, 89, were unscathed in the scuffle.

Continuing with his random day-to-day decisions, the team saw a steady stream of stars flee from what had now been tabbed “The Bronx Zoo.”  Hall-of-Fame outfielder, Dave Winfield, was one of the few who turned down a trade away from New York to the Mighty California Angels of Los Angeles in Orange County’s Anaheim in exchange for pitcher Mike Witt in May of 1990.  Steinbrenner rewarded Winfield’s loyalty by refusing to pay his charity foundation the $300,000 guaranteed in his contract, then trading him anyway.

Later that year, Steinbrenner confessed to also paying Howard Spira, a small-time gambler, $40,000 to dig up dirt on Winfield.  This was the final straw for baseball (and for Winfield who claimed he was worth way more than $40,000). Commissioner Fay Vincent suspended Steinbrenner for life.  Evidently, Vincent, a huge animal lover, interpreted that to mean the life of his pet hamster, DiMaggio, and reinstated Steinbrenner three years later. 

Since then, Steinbrenner put his business savvy to work purchasing a new cable station (The YES Network), five new championships, and a new Yankee Stadium, one that charges $7 ($7!) for bag check. 

And shortly after New York blew the 3-game lead over nemesis Boston in the 2004 ALCS, “The Stein” went out and purchased fireballers Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano, as well as all present and future residents of Cuba, Puerto Rico, and the island of Okinawa.  He was also rumored to have put the Dominican Republic on lay-away.

His recent purchases of Mark Texeira, CC Sabathia, and AJ Burnett finally earned him the championship he’d been lacking for nine long seasons. 

In the days leading up to his death, Mr. Steinbrenner could be heard regularly cursing and randomly firing people on the streets of New York.  He leaves behind him some family, a few enemies, and one baseball team that has either ruined or saved baseball, depending on your point of view.

Rest in Peace, King George!  Even Red Sox Nation will miss you.

[Excerpted from “How to Talk to a Yankee Fan” (Seven Locks Press, 2006)]