A Tale of Two Athletic Directors: David Brandon Succeeds and Mike Garrett Fails

Here’s an old trick to look more attractive next time you go out.

Surround yourself with ugly people.

University of Michigan Athletic Director David Brandon can thank University of Southern California Athletic Director Mike Garrett for doing him that favor.

Remember when Michigan’s sanctions were released in late May?

Out of all the people who stood out in the Michigan situation—the compliance committee, Rich Rodriguez, the quality control staff—David Brandon seemed to steal the show.

Brandon wasn’t in office for more than a year, and already the new AD was dealing with the University’s first NCAA major football sanctions in the team’s 131 years.

When asked who was to blame in the whole situation, Brandon didn’t take the coward’s way out, nor did he even take the logical route.

Instead, he surprised the entire media and Michigan Wolverine football nation when he pointed the finger right back at himself.

“The reality is that we had failures across the Athletic Department…I take full responsibility for what happened because I’m the director of this program."

Although a kind gesture on his part, at the time of the violations and the “failures across the Athletic Department," Brandon wasn't athletic director.  Rather, he was still a Regent and busy running a private business of his own. 

Former AD Bill Martin was in charge at Michigan when all of these violations occurred, and even if he addressed the punishments at a press conference, it is debatable not only if Martin would have made such a bold statement, but also if such a statement would have been true.

The reason being that the blame for Michigan’s violations could have gone anywhere. It could have gone to a coach who didn’t follow up with his subordinates, or a compliance committee too afraid to come down hard and early. Maybe even to an NCAA committee for puffing their chests, or a Free Press journalist who was looking for sensationalism rather than journalism.

Out of everybody who was a player in this game though, David Brandon wasn’t only the last person to blame, he was probably the one person you couldn’t blame.

Nonetheless, a selfless Brandon stepped up to the plate.

“We have been found to violate certain rules with the NCAA and we’re standing up and taking responsibility for it.”

For those who didn't realize this selflessness at the time, we have Mike Garrett to remind us Michigan fans just how lucky we are.

Last week USC, an athletic program who is on par with being as historically storied as Michigan, was hit with NCAA sanctions as well.

But if Michigan was stuck in the mud with their violations, then USC was struggling in quicksand.

The Trojan's violations didn’t have to do with forgetting to count warmups and stretching as CARA or having too many graduate assistants on the field.

Rather, they were caught with possibly the worst violation a program can have outside of shaving points—players receiving improper benefits.

If Michigan’s violations were a “black eye” on the program, as Brandon put it, then USC just got in a life-altering car accident.

Instead of "pulling a David Brandon" though, Garrett played the role of the ugly wingman at the bar, thus securing Michigan a spot with the hot one of the group.

In his first statements about the NCAA sanctions regarding his program, Garrett pre-gamed a little too hard before heading out to the sanctions bar and proceeded to word vomit all over the place.

“As I read the decision by the NCAA…I read between the lines and there was nothing but a lot of envy.  They wish they were all Trojans.”

Later, when stating before the sanctions were handed out that he wondered how big the USC brand was, he began to spew again.

“With the penalty we got today I know we’re bigger than life."

Just imagine the NCAA as a couple of girls at the local nightclub.

They have two prospects in front of them: Michigan in the form of David Brandon, and USC in the form of Mike Garrett.  Everything the two gentlemen say and do plays a role in their chances at the end of the night (a.k.a. the beginning of the season).

When Brandon makes the comments he does, he helps Michigan athletics look somewhat sorry for the violations they committed.

When his comments are compared to those of Mike Garrett, he makes Michigan look like it’s down on their knees, groveling.

Which is exactly what the NCAA wants.

In light of this, look for Michigan to take the girl home, and the NCAA to not levy any further penalties.

You can also expect that the Wolverines take both girls home, leaving the wingman USC at the bar trying to appeal for a second date—and getting nowhere.

Michigan fans should be very proud and take great comfort in the fact that during such dark days for their football program, they remain in faithful and dedicated hands.