World Cup Day Five Results: North Korea Shows They Aren't A Dog

It could have been the Michigan vs Appalachian State of World Cup football.

But sadly, it wasn't.

North Korea held Brazil for the first half, conceded two goals, and managed to pull one back—but then time ran out.

But finally, our imaginations were allowed to live: Football has finally arrived.

1) Brazil

We expected Brazil to smash North Korea into the earth, and after they went 2-0 midway through the second half, the rout was on.

But in fact the nasty ghost—Brazilian defending—rose its ugly head as the 2002 World Cup winners failed to stop Ji Yun-nam, who beat four players and hammered it past the keeper.

The world held their breath, but Brazil got away with the three points.

2) Portugal - Ivory Coast

For you Twitter users, I'll sum this 0-0 draw up in 150 Characters: "What an awful game."

There you go.

Nothing else to say about this.

3) Cristiano Ronaldo

The goddawful game was highlighted by Cristiano Ronaldo's brilliant shot that hit the post early in the first half.

If there's any footballer who can keep this ball down, it's Ronaldo.

He'll be their source of inspiration this year.

4) 'Not Sacrificial' New Zealand Lambs

We were expecting New Zealand to be like their lamb: sacrificial.

But they were well-organised, battled the Slovakians, conceded a first goal and then scored a deserved equaliser in the 92nd minute, sending all those in Auckland who were actually awake to watch this into raptures.

We can only hoped some of them called their Australian 'neighbours' and said "We've got more point than you....."

5) Slovakia

Again, this is a disappointing team.

Italy and Paraguay shouldn't be worried about this team.