Understanding the Mindset of a High School Recruit

Larry Burton (Panama City Beach, Fla.) As coaches, they see the potential to build them into a contributing piece of the puzzle for winning, and as fans, we see them as the next big star. But to the recruit, what do they see and think about during the process of recruiting?

After many interviews with players, this is a composite of one fictional recruit, Isaiah Fletcher of Randal, Miss. The city and the assistant coach's name is also fictional.

Isaiah was tickled, proud, and nervous when he got his first visit during his junior year from an assistant coach at Ole Miss. Rivals had named him a player to watch and letters had already started coming in.

Isaiah had the coach meet him at his school because he was secretly worried what the coach might think about the house his mother rented for herself and her five children. Money was tight and it showed.

He was nervous the coach would slip and call her Mrs. Fletcher, because that wasn't her name. Isaiah took his father's last name, but they had split up when he was only two and he hadn't seen much of him since. Instead the coach came in, shook his hand and introduced himself and turned to his mother and said, "May I call you Wanda?"

The first sign of relief came over Isaiah as his mother said, "Of course coach Butler, thank you for coming to seeing us."

Clearly this coach had taken the time to do a little research and it showed.

They each took chairs in the library and the coach began a talk Isaiah would hear repeated over and over as the months turned into years. Though the speeches would have differences, this first one he ever heard was the one that stuck in his mind.

Each coach talked about how Isaiah could be an important part of their plans for the future and in turn, would not just prepare him for football at the next level, for in getting him his degree and pushing that most on his mother.

His mother however, had other things on her mind for this, their first meeting with a big school. Things that seemingly had not crossed the coach's mind as he was selling all his goods.

"Coach Butler, all that sounds good, and I know my baby can take care of himself on the football field. I'm not worried about him doing his job there. He's always been a hard worker and a gives everything he has, but it's the other things that I'm worried about. Things a mother worries about her child," she said.

"I don't have the resources to send my son to college with all of the things the other boys might have. He won't have a car, all the fancy clothes and spending money the other kids will have, and I don't want him embarrassed." Wanda blurted out.

Isaiah was flushed and embarrassed that she would bring this up, but was none the less interested in what the coach would say.

"Wanda, I hear you, and as a parent myself I understand what you're saying," Coach Butler said while nodding his head. "When I left my home in Arkansas for Texas Tech I had one pair of "Sunday" shoes and a pair of sneakers and everything I owned fit in one old suitcase my grandparents had. I worried about those things too and I'm sure my parents did too.

"My Dad was a farmer and sent me off with $73 dollars, because that's all he had at that time on him," he continued. "And back then it was tougher than now. Now we have a place for the athletes to live that is as nice as anything on or near campus. His meals are on a meal plan, the kids today think blue jeans and a tee shirt are perfect for college," he said.

"But will it be easy? Wanda, the last thing I'd ever do is lie to you or Isaiah. Some schools may make promises they won't keep, but that's not the way we do things at Ole Miss. No, it won't be as easy for him in college as it is with some kids. They'll be times he won't have the money to go and do some things that other kids can do. But I'll bet it's no different than it is right now," Coach Butler said in a slow steady voice.

"There are guys on your football team right now that have their own car and more spending money than you right now isn't there?" Coach Butler asked while turning to look at Isaiah.

Isaiah could only nod.

"But you're tough enough to make it now, to be one of the boys without all that, and from what I hear, you are actually one of the men they all look up to. I was worried about all that too, and the coach that recruited me told me something that struck me like lightning and changed the way I would look at myself for the rest of my life, and I'm going to share it with you right now," the old coach said slowly while pausing for effect.

"It's not what you have in life that matters, it's what you do with the life you have," Butler said, and he noticed the effect it had on both listeners he wanted.

"I was the first male in my family to get a chance to go to college, and after a few months there, I quit worrying if I fit in. My team was my second family and those coaches were like my new parents. We didn't have the Internet and it was way too expensive to even call home, so I was homesick at first," he explained.

"But that second family made it bearable, and I wasn't judged by the clothes I wore or the money I didn't have, but by my commitment to be a worthwhile member of that family, just like you are in your family with your mom and brothers and sisters right now," the old coach explained.

"I'm not inviting you to just come play football for us Isaiah, I'm asking you to come join our family. You help us and we'll help you. That's what family does. And Wanda, I can't tell you that I'll be there four years from now, but just like seniors leave and move on, sometimes coaches do too. But Ole Miss will always be there, and that family will go on with or without me, and they'll be holding onto Isaiah no matter who comes or goes and that's the truth," he concluded.

"Coach?" Isaiah started softly. "I have the grades to go to college if I keep it up. But I worry about making it in college. Let me be honest with you like you are with me, I'm a much better football player than a student, and I'm worried about making it in college."

Coach Butler said: "Isaiah, I hear you, and I worried about that just like you, and I appreciate your concern and honesty. But Ole Miss has the faculty and facilities you don't have here. If you can make B's and C's here with no help, imagine what you could do with tutors that could help you every day. In my day it was pretty much sink or swim, but today, we have faculty to help you with anytime you feel the need for more or better instruction," he said in a nice-paced tone.

Now Coach Butler turned to keep the mother in the conversation and said to her, "Though we'll do our best to prepare him for football at the next level, that's not our main goal and it shouldn't be his, because there are a lot more men making money from their degrees than there are from playing football."

Then turning back to Isaiah he said, "I talked to your coach before I contacted you, if he didn't have faith in you as a student first, I wouldn't be here. I don't have time to waste on people who don't care about that part of their lives, and the fact you brought that up proves to me that you care about that."

And he concluded his talk by starting out looking Isaiah straight in the eyes and saying, "There's three things it takes to make it at Ole Miss as a scholarship athlete, The first is your ability as an athlete. Yes, you're good now, but we'll make you better. Secondly, you're no good to us if you can't make the grades, and I think you can. And thirdly, you have to treat our family like you do your own right now," he said without taking his eyes off Isaiah's pupils.

"You have to respect our family and our reputation just like you have your own. Anything stupid you do makes our family look bad just as it would make you look bad," he said while turning his focus back to Wanda, and looking her straight in the eye said, "And I wouldn't be here if you hadn't already done such a great job of instilling that ethic in your son right now, Wanda. We'll just keep trying to keep his feet on the same path you put him on."

As he said this, Coach Butler put his arm on Wanda and she responded by rising and reaching for his hand and thanking him.

He asked if there were any more questions they had and he gave them both his card and said he knew there would be others coming to sway him to their schools, but to keep in touch with him as he would them.

On the way home his mother said she really liked Coach Butler and felt much better about this whole college thing and somehow she felt everything would turn out alright.

Isaiah felt better too, he was shocked that he and this coach had so much in common and shared many of the same worries at this same age. He felt like this was a man who shot straight with him and maybe what he said was true.

Later that night, lying in bed in the dark, recounting the meeting to his brother Daryl, his little brother put him even further at ease.

"Say," Daryl said, which was the nickname he always used for his big brother, "You may not have the money or clothes the rich boys have, but you'll have one thing that will get you the hot babes they'll never get."

"What's that?" Isaiah asked laughing.

"A football jersey you dumbass," said Daryl returning the laugh. "They can't buy one of those you know! And even somebody as ugly as you can get a girl wearing that!"

And just like Isaiah never missed a tackle, even in the dark the pillow that was hurled across the room found the mark.

Over the coming months, Isaiah would visit Ole Miss, and he saw what the coach said was true, he would fit in after all. Many of the players were just like him and the clothes he wore were not much different from what they were wearing.

Soon after he visited other schools, LSU, Alabama, and Auburn were schools that also had good points to them. Offers and letters from other schools let him know that his senior year would be a busy one.

Though playing for a good team was a consideration, mostly he wanted to go to a place that "felt right." After all, as the first coach he talked to, Coach Butler put so well, he wasn't picking a team as much as he was joining a family.