JaMarcus Russell: 2010 and Beyond

Marcel stickum37Contributor IApril 29, 2010

OAKLAND, CA - JANUARY 03:  JaMarcus Russell #2 of the Oakland Raiders walks off the field against the Baltimore Ravens during an NFL game at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on January 3, 2010 in Oakland, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

Of late, everyone has an opinion on whether or not Al Davis will cut JaMarcus from the Silver & Black.

If he is cut by Al, will he ever be back in the NFL? I for one, am not of the opinion Jamarcus deserves another opportunity to play in the NFL. So these are my visions of where The Greatest Draft Bust of all time will possibly land in the year 2010.

His life after football.  

1. I think JaMarcus goes Hollywood.. Just think the McDonald's corporation brings back Ronald McDonald's friends. JaMarcus comes in and picks up the purple costume, and tells Ronald I don't need the costume, just some make up like you Ronald. They paint JaMarcus purple...and presto Grimace is back!

To make this even better JaMarcus holds out for half of the first year of shooting, and comes in when his agent gets JaMarcus a contract for 90 million Big Mac's.

2. The WWE; Vince starts a wrestlers from the past theme. I mean do wrestlers ever really retire? Look at Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan and you will know that answer.

So Vince brings in JaMarcus as Kamala 2010. They give him the leopard print shorts, add some face paint, paint a couple stars on his chest and a moon on his belly, and you have Kamala "The Ugandan Giant," nickname later to be change to Kamala "The Raider Nation Nightmare."

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Even JaMarcus's agent Ethane Lock gets into the gimmick as he serves as his wrestling manager, and gets his client the largest Per Diem food allowance of all time.

3. JaMarcus is the new spokesmen, knocking off Bay legend Hammer for the Cash For Gold commercials. He does a commercial of trading his famous bling for seconds at the Golden Corral. Sadly for JaMarcus, his agent is not involved in this deal. Much like the Raider playbook, JaMarcus does not read the sign which reads all you can eat.

4. JaMarcus takes his leftover millions, and invests the money in his favorite products Doritos and the 7-11 Slurpee Machine's. Now JaMarcus does this unbeknownst there is a current bill coming up to legalize Marijuana in California. The bill passes, and Doritos and Slurpee sales skyrocket. JaMarcus hits the cover of Forbes magazine, and explains the benefits of an LSU Tiger education.

5. JaMarcus goes AWOL. He is begging and feenin for the next super size meal. JaMarcus's posse decides to go on the next episode of Intervention. They do this in fear of all the free Raider loot being eaten away by Russell.

The show decides to break from the norm and use fatty celebrity Jared from Subway to lead the intervention. JaMarcus agrees to go to rehab at Celebrity Fit Club. At first site of conditioning JaMarcus has a set back, and Jared comes to his aid. Jamarcus and Jared go to Subway to help ease Russell's itch for fast food. There JaMarcus goes into a rage and locks the doors eating everything in sight. After eating all the Subway food he realizes he is still hungry, and turns his attention to Jared.

JaMarcus eats Jared in a Subway, and is later found innocent by reason of insanity. JaMarcus is the first to win a murder rap using Lethargy Addiction. Yes folks, what was believed to be a joke by the Bay Area media is easily and incredibly believable by a jury of JaMarcus's peers at first sight to the so called golden armed athletes physique. 

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