Bleacher Report's Ultimate Guide to 2016 College Football Season
It's been a long time since college football left you.
It went out for cigarettes 90 or so minutes after Nick Saban, in the midst of one of the greatest national championships of our lifetime, called for an onside kick of all things. He made this call knowing it had failed over and over and over in practice leading up to the game against Clemson, with the title slipping through his fingertips.
Only this time it worked.
.jpg?w=256 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
And sure enough, Alabama won. Again. Then, poof—college football was gone.
It didn't say goodbye because it never says goodbye. It shouldn't need to, either. It left in the middle of the night as it always does. This is how the relationship works.
The joy it brings for a handful of months each year—the authentic, unwavering tumult of each Saturday—should not come with any further demands.
The unexpected departure never gets easier to stomach, but the time together makes it worth it. Those moments of heartbreak and joy and general absurdity remind you why you watch, why you care and why you pour so much time into something that promises nothing in return.
At some point over the next 15 weeks, you will see something extraordinary. You will be reminded again. It will deliver as it always does, perhaps as early as the next few days. You might see it coming. Or perhaps it will emerge out of thin air. The rest, of course, will come together one spectacular weekend at a time.
And then, like always, it will disappear. Enjoy it while you can.
Here is a look at the season ahead, which includes notable themes, the most important games, a dress-rehearsal Top 25 you will undoubtedly loathe and more.
10 Most Anticipated College Football Happenings This Year
1. Week 1
Where college football has failed in the past—and I say this in an "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" fatherly tone—is the beginning. Rarely has the momentum of a new year matched the lineup of Week 1 games.
Not this year, though. This year's opening weekend is like the year mom got you a Nintendo 64 for Christmas. Just look at this:
| Oklahoma vs. Houston | Houston | Saturday, Sept. 3 |
| UCLA at Texas A&M | College Station, Texas | Saturday, Sept. 3 |
| LSU vs. Wisconsin | Green Bay, Wisc. | Saturday, Sept. 3 |
| Georgia vs. North Carolina | Atlanta | Saturday, Sept. 3 |
| USC vs. Alabama | Arlington, Texas | Saturday, Sept. 3 |
| Clemson at Auburn | Auburn, Ala. | Saturday, Sept. 3 |
| Notre Dame at Texas | Austin, Texas | Sunday, Sept. 4 |
| Ole Miss vs. Florida State | Orlando, Fla. | Monday, Sept. 5 |
Will it live up to the hype? Probably not. Maybe? Who cares!
The sport has given you a reason to lock yourself indoors, stock the fridge, ignore family and enjoy quality television time from Thursday until Monday.
I still believe a 24-hour marathon would be the best way to kick things off, but this is a close second.
2. Football and NASCAR Make a Baby
For whatever reason, college football decided it was time to play a game inside Bristol Motor Speedway. Sure.
There should be no complaints. How this sport decides to plow through its enormous piggy bank should be no concern of ours. Let's burn money and watch the smoke commandeer the sky.
What's important is that Tennessee and Virginia Tech are going to play in front of 150,000 fans in an enormous structure that normally houses really fast and powerful cars. They will do this during the second weekend of the season.
The game is laced with intrigue, even without the venue. Tennessee is talented and carries enormous expectations. Virginia Tech is in the beginning stages of the Justin Fuente era, which promises to be plenty different in time. It's simply a matter of when.
The amount of canned beer consumed in the parking lot will be a sight to be seen. This is more of a celebration than anything else, and it will be a lovely viewing experience.
3. The Glorious Running Back Resurrection
[Takes breath.]
Leonard Fournette, Dalvin Cook, Christian McCaffrey, Royce Freeman, Samaje Perine.
[Takes another breath.]
Nick Chubb, Wayne Gallman, Donnel Pumphrey, Saquon Barkley, Jalen Hurd, Elijah Hood, Corey Clement, Bo Scarbrough.
[Takes even deeper breath.]
James Conner, Shock Linwood, Larry Rose III, Myles Gaskin, Kareem Hunt, Marlon Mack, Nick Wilson, Tarean Folston, Joe Mixon, LJ Scott, Alvin Kamara, Jahad Thomas.
This year's collection of running backs is amazing and even deeper than the names mentioned above.
They will do spectacular, unbelievable things weekly. They will carry teams and end playoff hopes, all by their lonesome.
4. Taysom Hill
So maybe this one is a little personal, but allow me to explain.
I sat down with Taysom Hill, BYU's 26-year-old quarterback, for about 45 minutes after the second day of fall practice. We talked at length about the last four years—three of which ended early with injuries.
He talked about the doubt he had, how he thought about transferring, how he even contemplated giving up football entirely after he injured his foot in Week 1 last year.
I don't know what the future holds for Hill. I do know that when healthy, he is an exceptional talent and likely an NFL quarterback. But bigger than that, more significant than any notion about his ability or playing style, is the hope that he gets one injury-free season before he says goodbye to this level for good.
5. Chaos
This part is not defined, but it is unavoidable. At some point, college football will stuff an M80 into your toilet, hopefully while you're out buying new drapes or lawn seed or something, and blow the whole thing up.
All the preseason hype, assumptions and expectations will be thrown into the blender before long. And then there will be the specific plays that shape the season.
One could make the argument—a strong one—that Alabama would not be in the SEC Championship Game or the College Football Playoff if it weren't for this absurd play that allowed Arkansas to beat Ole Miss last season.
Oh, those moments are coming. As one who subscribes to chaos theory—hoping each weekend will bring more mayhem than the last—I anxiously anticipate the moments that will leave me scrubbing toilet water from the bathroom ceiling.
It's worth it.
6. The Desperate, Cutthroat SEC West
Life in the most competitive division in college football is exhausting. Alabama has created a set of expectations that are almost too surreal to process.
The result of such dominance is a situation in which three teams in the SEC begin the season with coaches in dire need of monster campaigns.
"Hot seat" is such a cliche. But given their salaries, rosters and fanbases' growing discontent, it's fair to assume that LSU's Les Miles, Texas A&M's Kevin Sumlin and Auburn's Gus Malzahn are in a place of urgency. They need to win big and do so quickly.
Because all three play in the same conference and also compete with the Crimson Tide, the week-to-week importance for these teams will be something to behold. The pressure is enormous; the entertainment value should be high.
7. Sad Fan Shots
Kudos to you, opportunistic cameramen.
You understand that if a moment turns so woefully heartbreaking—the lowest of the low for a fan who is attending a game—that said fan will have no choice but to react negatively.
Perhaps they will grab one's neck in disgust with both hands, pushing his or her elbows forward, creating the saddest of college football poses: "the surrender cobra."
Or maybe, after a long, unexpected touchdown, an entire stadium will begin to mourn in sequence.
This philosophy has produced a handful of sad but intoxicating moments over the years. Social media and all its hateful elegance have only pushed these reactions further—the facial expressions, the arm gestures, the animated displeasure.
Take this poor guy, for example:
Here's to all the sad fans out there who will soon became celebrities. May your pain and anguish be fuel for the rest of us.
8. Weekly College Football Playoff Outrage
I'll admit it. One of my favorite new college football traditions is seeing the latest batch of CFP rankings emerge on a Tuesday evening and dousing myself in the outrage that follows.
There will be five shows this year prior to the CFP selection announcement. That one—the important one that will reveal the playoff semifinals and important bowl games—will take place Dec. 4.
But before then, starting Nov. 1, we will be teased each and every week.
Don't hide from these unnecessary televised events. In fact, embrace the folly of mocking up a playoff in early November and run with it. It's much more fun when you channel this unnecessary fury—and there will be fury.
Speaking of, the College Football Playoff selection committee will release an updated Top 25 on election night.
If you've ever wanted to see the internet actually catch fire, that is the time. See you then.
9. Deshaun Watson
Here's what's rather ridiculous about Deshaun Watson: His best is still out there somewhere.
He's nowhere close to what he will become, at this level or the next. And now, with wide receiver Mike Williams back from injury, he has his best weapon to work with again.
"That guy is the most significantly dominant player that we've played against since Cam Newton in 2010," Saban told ESPN in July.
That is high praise from a man whose praise means a great deal.
What makes Watson such a joy to watch is the natural calmness and rhythm to his game. There's a coolness about him, whether he's trying to settle into the pocket or taking off on a designed run for a modest gain.
He is so gifted. You should know this by now. Just watch him. Cool?
10. Large-Men Touchdowns
A man the size of a small Volkswagen will score a touchdown this season. Or, at the bare minimum, a gentleman—or gentlemen, if we're so lucky—will find the football in his hands and attempt to make real-life football moves in open space.
It's one of the sport's true treasures. Linemen are wonderful creatures as is. Their excellence is only exemplified when coaches put them in positions to make plays or these plays miraculously fall into their laps.
The bar was set in 2014 when Arkansas lineman Sebastian Tretola threw a touchdown pass against UAB. This is the year something large and historic takes place.
Top 10 Games of the Year
Nearly one-third of the games listed below will take place in Week 1—as if you needed any more incentive to drown yourself in football over the next few days.
It should also be noted that condensing one season's greatness into 10 moments was difficult, and your outrage with my omissions is understood and most likely warranted.
10. Oklahoma vs. Houston (Saturday, Sept. 3)
Let's not get ahead of ourselves and declare the winner of this team a CFP favorite. But let's not disregard what a win would mean for the Cougars and the aftershocks that would be felt with such an upset.
9. Stanford at Notre Dame (Saturday, Oct. 15)
By the Fighting Irish's standards, their schedule is not the same soul-sucking gauntlet it usually is, at least on paper. Trying to corral McCaffrey, however, will be no small task.
8. Alabama at Tennessee (Saturday, Oct. 15)
Last year's game was excellent, and it was one the Volunteers could have won. This year, with the game in Knoxville, Butch Jones is poised to take one tremendous step forward. (Or the Crimson Tide can just keep doing what they do.)
7. Oklahoma at TCU (Saturday, Oct. 1)
This offseason, the Horned Frogs became one of the media's favorite teams. It's easy to see why with the talent still in place, though getting through the Sooners will be a big ask. This game might last five hours.
6. USC vs. Alabama (Saturday, Sept. 3)
Two of the most storied programs in the history of the sport square up out of the gate. Is it possible this game, somehow, hasn't been hyped accordingly?
5. Ole Miss vs. Florida State (Monday, Sept. 5)
Speaking of Week 1 games with enormous implications, this one will be played Monday. Even after major, high-profile losses, don't be surprised when the Rebels are in position to beat the Seminoles, who have become a popular national title pick.
4. Michigan at Ohio State (Saturday, Nov. 26)
Urban Meyer vs. Jim Harbaugh 2.0 will be closer than the first installment. That isn't exactly bold. What's on the line beyond the possibility of a trip to the Big Ten Championship Game is what makes this game so intriguing.
3. Ohio State at Oklahoma (Saturday, Sept. 17)
My goodness, this is happening. And here's what makes this out-of-conference gem even more satisfying—are you ready for this? It's on a college campus, where they should all be played.
2. Alabama at LSU (Saturday, Nov. 5)
There is something about this game that makes me want to tackle a perfect stranger. These might be the two deepest rosters in the country, and they are poised to add another memorable installment in early November.
1. Clemson at Florida State (Saturday, Oct. 29)
The best offensive player in the country, Watson, takes on the best defensive player in the country, Derwin James. Oh, and the ACC title and a playoff spot could be at stake. Throw in Halloween, and things will be even weirder.
5 Players We're Not Talking About Enough When It Comes to the Heisman Trophy
De'Veon Smith, RB, Michigan
His numbers last year weren't gaudy (753 rushing yards and 6 TDs), but that was in large part because of injuries. Smith runs mean and hard, and with a full, healthy season on a team that will be hovering in the playoff picture, he could surprise some people outside Ann Arbor who haven't seen him work.
Kenny Hill, QB, TCU
Remember him? The guy who took over for Johnny Manziel at Texas A&M and scored about 1,576 touchdowns in his first few games before bottoming out and transferring? Well, the Horned Frogs are a perfect fit for Hill, who is supremely talented. Can he limit his mistakes, and can they win enough games?
Donnel Pumphrey, RB, San Diego State
Over the past two years, Pumphrey has run for 3,520 yards. He is an absolute machine and would be a Heisman favorite with a bigger brand. But there are some fascinating qualities about the Aztecs. With a monster year, he might sneak into the conversation.
Myles Garrett, DE, Texas A&M
It's hard to call a possible No. 1 pick in next year's NFL draft a sleeper. But since he plays defensive end—a position that rarely garners the necessary hype to win the award—it seems appropriate. Given the way he's performed and his freakish physical abilities, the buzz should be Jadeveon Clowney-like. It's not, but Garrett's play might be.
Mason Rudolph, QB, Oklahoma State
It's his gig now, which means Rudolph should have ample opportunity to put up enormous numbers in an offense that has been good to quarterbacks over the years. The Big 12 is not exactly crawling with defense, either. If the Pokes can follow up on last season with a similar encore, you never know.
Best Quote of Fall Camp
Let's hear it for Oklahoma State offensive coordinator Mike Yurcich, who decided to grow a beard.
Not only did he grow the beard, but he also shared with the world why he decided to grow it.
Spoiler alert: The beard is probably going to stay for a while.
Best Hair of the Season
This is the first time in some time that West Virginia head coach Dana Holgorsen does not own this award.
Instead, we'll stay with Oklahoma State a while longer and celebrate Mike Gundy, who acquired one amazing mullet at some point in the past six months.
This isn't just a party in the back. This is a mullet growing a mullet. This is a man with many millions of dollars who is making a statement for reasons that are unimportant.
This is something that should be required for the rest of us.
Final Preseason Top 25 (Subject to Change)
It's not simply a matter of being wrong. I will likely be very, very wrong. It's where this Top 25 goes wrong that has me intrigued.
As always, please remember that all omissions and slights are personal. This is not simply a matter of opinion but an attempt to snub you during this joyous time. That is how Top 25s work, you see.
- Alabama
- Clemson
- Florida State
- Oklahoma
- Michigan
- Notre Dame
- LSU
- Ohio State
- Tennessee
- Houston
- Ole Miss
- Stanford
- TCU
- Louisville
- Oklahoma State
- Iowa
- Michigan State
- North Carolina
- USC
- Washington
- Texas A&M
- Washington State
- Georgia
- Baylor
- South Florida
And Finally, a Tailgating Tip: Don't Be the Tag-Along Mooch
So, every year we try to infuse a little bit of tailgating wisdom before the season begins: what to cook, what to wear, the importance of chairs, the importance of ice, etc.
This year, however, the focus is on an individual. You know this individual. They show up 90 minutes late to your tailgate. They complain about how they didn't charge their phone the night before. They share with you how much fun they had the prior evening.
They bring no supplies and little morale. They provide nothing to the group.
Tailgating is not easy, despite its jolly origins. Serious tailgates demand a great deal of work and preparation. It also isn't cheap, assuming you're doing it right.
The tag-along mooch does nothing but enjoy the final product. This person is not there to work.
Do not be this person. Even if you add little to this day, something—a chair, dip, cold beverages, charcoal, whatever—is better than nothing. In fact, collaborative efforts are what make these pregame rituals special. Showing up for free pulled pork and Natural Light just isn't fair.
It's not hard. Be a decent friend or stranger. Do your part this year.
.jpg?w=480 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
