Building the Ideal College Football Quarterback for 2015

Welcome back to the laboratory. Please put on these gloves and leave your cellphone in the College Football Playoff-branded basket at the door.

Before we progress any further, I must acknowledge the deep-pocketed and overly ambitious boosters who made this scientific masterpiece possible. Without their aggressive donations and persistence to the cause, we wouldn’t be able to genetically engineer our dream college football quarterback.

That’s precisely what we’ll do today. In order to create this quarterback, we’ll be lifting specific traits—arm strength, arm accuracy, overall strength, legs and even heart—from some of the nation’s elite college football talents and combining them to create one super-quarterback.

The end result is a marvelous player—an athlete capable of leading the most average team to a College Football Playoff berth and perhaps a national championship. Before you write us a check for $50 million for this player—all of this is NCAA-approved, of course—here are the quarterbacks who will contribute to the creation.

The Arm of Ohio State QB Cardale Jones

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Earlier this spring, in front of nearly 100,000 fans drenched in red, Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones threw a football 74 yards in the air, winning a throwing contest with former Ohio State great Troy Smith and current Ohio State great J.T. Barrett at the Buckeyes’ spring game.

"My arm was kind of tired," Jones said. "I probably throw it a little further."

The rise of Urban Meyer’s third-string quarterback was the story of the college football season. But for the sake of this particular exercise, all we’ll need is the mortar sitting on Jones’ right shoulder.

After all, he was bestowed the nickname “12 Gauge” for a reason. He throws footballs harder and farther than any other collegiate QB in operation.

While the deep ball is the main attraction—something he showed off plenty over his dream three-game stretch—he has the unique ability to make a 15-yard out look like art. Although he only threw for 860 yards last season, they were 860 spectacular, stadium-silencing yards.

This one was remarkably easy. This is the kind of arm that doesn’t come around often enough. This is the kind of arm you put on your dream quarterback and move on.

The Legs of Ohio State QB J.T. Barrett

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Welcome to a strange, unprecedented place where two quarterbacks from the same team are making contributions to one dream quarterback.

While Jones may have an unparalleled right shoulder, Ohio State quarterback J.T. Barrett—fully recovered from a significant lower-leg injury that sidelined him last season—has the lower extremities covered.

Although there are faster quarterbacks to choose from—Justin Thomas from Georgia Tech was a tough option to pass up—we couldn’t resist Barrett’s shifty and opportunistic running ability. Also, he’s certainly not slow.

In 12 games last season, Barrett ran for at least 70 yards nine times. Had he stayed healthy over the last few games, he would have cruised past the 1,000-yard mark. As is, he finished with 938 yards while averaging 5.5 yards per carry and scored 11 touchdowns on the ground.

He doesn’t have Michael Vick’s speed, the trucking ability of a former large, lefty Florida quarterback who will remain nameless or the long, majestic strides of Marcus Mariota. But Barrett is a wizard at finding and creating space. He has a knack for turning one missed tackle into something special.

For that reason, he is in. It’s worth noting that Ohio State’s third quarterback, Braxton Miller, would have been an excellent selection for this spot as well. It’s good to be king.

The Accuracy of USC QB Cody Kessler

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Only two quarterbacks in the entire nation completed more of their passes than Cody Kessler last season. USC’s starting quarterback connected on 315 of his 452 tosses, good for a 69.7 completion percentage. He also threw 39 touchdowns and only five interceptions.

Perhaps more eye-popping than the overall numbers is the way Kessler closed: In the final seven games, he threw for 28 touchdowns and surpassed 370 yards passing on three separate occasions. He did all this despite operating without optimum physical prowess.

This is not your typical Trojan quarterback. Kessler doesn’t have that same classic pro-prospect build, checking in a shade over 6 feet tall. His arm also isn’t nearly the weapon of backup Max Browne, the former 5-star recruit who starred during the spring.

But what Kessler may lack from a physical standpoint—and he’s still extremely competent in this arena—he makes up for in his ability to protect the football and hit his wideouts in stride. He is incredibly accurate and efficient to the point where leaving a talent of Browne’s nature on the bench makes sense.

He may not garner the same kind of buzz as some of the other quarterbacks named above or below him, but his contribution is integral to the overall product.

The Strength of Mississippi State QB Dak Prescott

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How he fits into an NFL system is a conversation pro scouts and coaches will have at length over the next 10 months. But for all the questions that may exist about Mississippi State quarterback Dak Prescott at the next level, there is zero doubt about the way he operates at the level he now dominates.

In 2014, Prescott threw for 27 touchdowns, ran for 14 touchdowns and even caught a touchdown—his third receiving TD over the past two seasons.

Operating ruthlessly within his 230-pound frame, Prescott has few concerns putting his head down and trying to run right at a hopeful tackler. Last season, he ran for 986 yards. He also threw for 3,449 yards, which was third in the conference.

But it’s the way in which he racks up his tremendous production that is most impressive. It’s never delicate or subtle; it’s more like watching a bulldozer execute an Olympic-level figure skating routine and somehow pull the whole thing off to the tune of nines and 10s from the judges.

His unrelenting style—a combination of effort and pure brute force—would work in any system and under any coach. There may be some holes in his overall game as it pertains to the next level, but there are zero doubts about the way he wants to destroy his opposition in every way imaginable.

The Heart (and Resilience) of TCU QB Trevone Boykin

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Not long ago, we were openly assessing Trevone Boykin’s potential as a college wideout.

It’s worth noting that in 2013, one of the nation’s top returning quarterbacks caught 26 passes for more than 200 yards and ran the ball 105 times. Oh, and he played some quarterback from time to time as well, albeit in somewhat inconsistent fashion.

One year and one drastically made-over offense later, and TCU’s do-everything offensive weapon has grown into one of the most polished and dangerous quarterbacks in all of college football. It hasn’t come suddenly or all that easily, although Boykin's growth throughout last season was astronomical. It was like watching a different player entirely.

After throwing seven touchdowns in 2013, Boykin threw 33 last year. He also ran for 707 yards and eight touchdowns and even added a receiving score—a celebration of his football journey.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what he does best or how we really got to this point, although that’s precisely why he’s included: There’s something to be said about climbing out of a football crater of this magnitude—the kind of deficit few players ever truly come back from. Boykin didn’t just emerge; he’s only getting started.

There is our masterpiece. Please see the receptionist, who will gladly accept your check and place you on the waiting list.

Tune back in next year for our special “Deshaun Watson” model, which is already in high demand. We are already taking preorders.

Adam Kramer is National College Football Lead Writer at Bleacher Report. All quotes obtained firsthand unless otherwise noted.