LeBron James Goes Behind the Back for Fast-Break Flush, Young Fan Loses Mind

Last time we checked in on LeBron James, his dunks were wreaking irreversible emotional distress on an older Houston Rockets fan.

Leading basketball shamans pinpointed Voodoo as the only plausible root of incident, and one prominent Internet doctor even put forth the notion that James intentionally terrorizes the elderly with his fast breaks.

With this in mind, we now have a fan at the other end of the age spectrum proving this theory true by the rule of opposites. If James' transition play is a wailing dog whistle of doom to older fans, it must conversely provide overwhelming joy to the youth—as evidenced by a young Cleveland Cavaliers fan on Tuesday night.

In the final minute of the second quarter of Cleveland's 110-79 thrashing of the Boston Celtics, James snagged a turnover and took it up the court with one man to beat. That man was Boston's Avery Bradley, and he was not ready for the trick stick James had in mind.

Bradley made a desperation stab for the ball just as James sent it orbiting around his back. Bradley missed. Step. Step. Flush.

It was a slick maneuver by James, and the crowd reacted with requisite run-out-the-gym madness. One fan, however, actually looked ready to throw down his thundersticks and head for the exits.

DrCarson73

This young man has seen enough. End the game and hose down the floor. James is leaving guts on the hardwood, and it's too graphic for this young man's eyes. You don't see this kind of wholesale slaughter on Minecraft.

As for James, the Cavaliers forward scored 27 points in the win and moved to 21st on the NBA all-time scoring list, passing former teammate Ray Allen.

According to ESPN.com's Dave McMenamin, James said he wasn't aware of the feat until teammates brought it to his attention later in the game:

"

I didn't know [about passing Allen] until I came to the bench and the guys congratulated me. I was like, 'For what? For making a layup?' They go, 'You passed Ray Allen.' That's one of my best friends. ... I learned so much from him [in Miami]...it's very humbling. I guess I've done some pretty good things in this league so far.

"

I don't know if that young fan would say "pretty good" covers it, but then again, he may still be incapable of speech at this point.

James terrorizes the elderly and malfunctions the children, providing balance to this chaotic universe.

Dan is on Twitter, crowdfunding for the collateral victims of LBJ dunks.