Do you want the good news or the bad news first, Patriots fans?
The good news is you’re alive today—living, breathing and doing things on this wonderful ball of dirt we call Earth. The bad news is your team just crossed paths with a 20-year-old pop idol who leaves naught but damnation and soiled mop buckets in his wake.
Indeed, Justin Bieber and the New England Patriots recently crossed paths at the Staples Center.
The team is in California preparing for Sunday’s game against the San Diego Chargers, and a group of players led by Rob Gronkowski went out to watch the Los Angeles Clippers smack the Minnesota Timberwolves around Monday night. Afterward, the Patriots met up with the Clippers in the locker room and ran into Bieber.
Pictures were taken. Bieber faces were made. Heads were clutched for reasons we’ll never understand.
Budding Patriots star (or flash in the pan, if Bill Belichick has his way) Jonas Gray posted a picture of Bieber with the team.
ESPN’s Arash Markazi uploaded a Vine of the pop singer posing with Gronkowski. Note Bieber’s dedication to confusion and hand-to-head contact.
This headache of his appeared to hang around all Monday night.
As for the whole doom and ruination aspect of meeting Bieber, it's become an accepted urban legend that any sports team to encounter the pop singer will experience immediate and drastic misfortune.
Is blaming a team’s struggles on a skinny kid logical or right? No. Is it fair to say that Bieber’s very presence acts like the talent-sapping basketball from Space Jam? Not in the least.
Should you give zero credence to causality or rational thought and blame him anyway? Absolutely.
You should blame Bieber for most bad things, like global warming and underwhelming guac. He’s taking down franchises one at a time, and now he’s set his sights on Tom Brady’s crew.
Good luck, New England. Have fun with that.
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