Zlatan Ibrahimovic and 10 Other Players Who Deserve Their Own Movie
It is an indisputable fact that Zlatan Ibrahimovic's autobiography I Am Zlatan is the greatest thing ever committed to paper, so the news that it may be turned into a movie biopic is inevitable.
In light of the mighty Swede's impending cinematic debut, here are 10 other players from past and present who deserve their own film...
How to Lose Dat Guy in 10 Days
1 of 10
After his masterful hat-trick in the Champions League earlier this week, Danny Welbeck is being painted as the new Thierry Henry.
His performance against Galatasaray could be the closing scene in his movie, which details his rise through the Manchester United youth system and the short period in which David Moyes completely alienated him and made him suddenly declare that he'd always dreamed of a move to north London.
Mission Impossible: Gotze Protocol
2 of 10
[Scene opens in an office in Bavaria in April 2013. The camera focuses on a message coming out of a fax machine.]
"Uli Hoeness: Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to prise Borussia Dortmund's best player away from them and bring him to Bayern Munich, thus weakening your biggest opponent and really annoying them in the event you meet in the Champions League Final.
"It won't be easy as he spent 12 years as an agent at BvB and he has an unspeakable bond with fellow Agent Reus.
"Good luck Agent Hoeness.
"This message will self destruct in 10 seconds. A bit like your tax records."
Ronaldinho: 24 Hour Party Person
3 of 10
During his time at Barcelona, Ronaldinho became the undisputed King of Nightclubs, spending every hour of darkness on the dance floor. His movie would document his famous extra curricular behaviour and explore his claim that he often "practised sex before games."
This one would probably be an 18.
James Milner: A Life Very Ordinary
4 of 10
James Milner's movie would be two solid hours of him doing ironing, seeking planning permission to build a fence and telling stories about bridges.
What's not to love?
Hairspray: A David Ginola Story
5 of 10
Before Radamel Falcao graced the Premier League with his I-just-stepped-out-of-a-shampoo-advert hair, the man with the greatest coiffure in the league's history was David Ginola.
His story would explain how he achieved such bounce and shine in his salon-standard locks, even when he spent a large majority of the time on the pitch rolling around on the floor.
Crazy Heart: The Life and Times of Antonio Cassano
6 of 10
Antonio Cassano's past has been blighted by cardiac issues and he's madder than a box of frogs, so there's no better title for his movie than Crazy Heart.
Plot points would include his claim to have slept with "600-700 women," his shameful homophobia and his tendency to spend 90 per cent of his time walking around in tight underpants.
Zlatan could even have a cameo in a scene where he kicks Cassano in the head for no reason.
Barton Think
7 of 10
Joey Barton's film would trace the drastic evolution in his ability to engage his brain.
As a young player, he knew only how to kick a ball and be outrageously anti-social. We'd see him earning numerous red cards, stubbing out cigars in team-mates' eyes, going to prison for viciously assaulting teenagers and arbitrarily beating up colleagues on the training ground.
Then, as if he had flicked a switch in his head, we see his very sudden transition into a Smiths-loving, philosophy-quoting, art-gallery-visiting, faux-hipster, social media voice piece for the western world.
What causes this change in character? A hypnotism performed by Neil Warnock, of course.
Arjen Robben: Falling Down
8 of 10
Much like Michael Douglas' lead character in the 1993 classic Falling Down, Arjen Robben is at war with the world.
Everybody already knows his only party trick of cutting onto his left foot and taking a shot from distance when teammates are available, genetics have cursed him with no hair and gravity has a devastating effect on him, pulling him to the ground with much more force than the average person.
A Tale of Two Toures
9 of 10
The story of the Toure brothers is destined to be told on the big screen.
After being raised together in the Ivory Coast, Yaya grew up to become a world-class midfielder playing for Barcelona and Manchester City. Kolo, on the other hand, became a successful car salesman who enjoys dating girls who are still at university.
Triggs and Me
10 of 10
Roy Keane has only smiled three times in his life: Once on his wedding day (his best man told a mean story about Patrick Vieira), once while reminiscing about ending Alf-Inge Haaland's career and the day he first saw his beloved Labrador Triggs.
Shortly after being sent home from Ireland's 2002 World Cup camp for telling Mick McCarthy to "stick it up his b------s," Keane was famously snapped taking Triggs for walkies.
What did they talk about on those long countryside strolls as dozens of photographers kept their respectful distance? Was Keane as impatient with his furry friend as he is with most humans? Who's a good boy?
All these questions will be answered.
