After three games, Green Bay is sitting with a less-than-sterling 1-2 record, and the masses are restless.
Who is to blame for losses to the Detroit Lions and the Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks? Which person must atone for Rodgers' dipping completion rate? Who is responsible for the Packers dropping to 28th in the league in total offense?
These are questions many a cheesehead continues to mull after Sunday's loss at Ford Field, and a few have seemingly found the answer: Olivia Munn.
Deftly applying the sharpest edge of Occam's razor, a cross section of Packers fans have bypassed all on-field possibilities and come to the conclusion that Rodgers' celebrity girlfriend is at the root of Green Bay's offensive issues.
Disappointed Packers fans weighed in on Twitter on Sunday, drawing all kinds of cast-iron connections between the television actress and Rodgers' struggles on the field.
I'm glad we've finally realized that men with female companions are incapable of excelling at sports. It's taken long enough for us to come to grips with the fact that only old coyotes submerged in the inkiest depths of human loneliness can complete a proper 15-yard out route. A plus B equals C, folks, and it doesn't take a Malcolm Gladwell-ian leap of logic to realize companionship is ruining Rodgers' mojo.
Of course, Rodgers is calling for fans to relax.
ESPN.com's Rob Demovsky reports that the Packers quarterback asked for patience on the part of fans while discussing the team's struggles Tuesday. Rodgers beseeched the Packers faithful on his ESPN Milwaukee radio show, essentially telling them to have a Snickers.
"Five letters here just for everybody out there in Packer-land," Rodgers said. "R-E-L-A-X. Relax. We're going to be OK."
That's all good and well, Aaron—but it's time to face facts.
The fans still love you, but they liked you a lot more when you were an emotionally unfulfilled, free-floating radical of bachelorhood with a keen nose for the open man. It's time for you to do the right thing and cut off personal ties for professional gains.
We'll see if you take the hint, but no one can make you take accountability for your emotional missteps. People you care about are good, but wins in September last forever, pal.
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