Week 4 College Football Superlatives from Kramer's Korner

Adam KramerSep 21, 2014

The rain fell. And then it fell a bit harder. And then Michigan Stadium emptied as the skies opened, causing the football surface to look more pond than playing field.

For two hours and 24 minutes, Utah's 26-10 lead over Brady Hoke's Michigan Wolverines sat in the waiting room as water overtook the stadium. It was metaphoric, watching the grass slowly but surely give way to standing water—the kind of situation so strangely timed that it had to have been planned.

"
Status: ☔️ pic.twitter.com/oHM6bxgLEU
— Michigan Football (@umichfootball) September 20, 2014"

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You knew that once play resumed, the outcome would not change. Utah would eventually win the game—and it did—and Mother Nature's impressive bit of improv was simply postponing the inevitable. The game resumed with less than eight minutes remaining, and Utah won 26-10. Just like you knew it would.

The inevitability won't stop with Week 4, not when it comes to Hoke and his future at the program he still coaches. With this loss, the ones before it and the ones likely to follow, his fate is all but sealed.

Although it's a cliched, cartoonish term, "on the hot seat" is actually a ruthless and unrelenting label that is rarely lifted. It is an unfair, unfortunate product of the lucrative business these coaches sign up for, and once you're on it, you're typically on it for good.

There are exceptions to the rule—look no further than Mississippi State's Dan Mullen, who just delivered his most impressive victory to date—although these moments are few and far between.

When it rains, it pours. And although the Michigan Stadium turf is no longer under water, the skies are still ominous. Inevitability has set in.

Let's move to brighter skies—unless you're a Clemson or Cal fan—and highlight the players, moments and important Steve Addazio Vines of the week.

Offensive Player of the Week: Amari Cooper, Alabama

Butch Dill/Associated Press

Other players across the country—some of whom will undoubtedly be mentioned in the text to follow—delivered more stat-crazed performances in Week 4. But in terms of overall impact and competition faced, no player was more impressive than Alabama wideout Amari Cooper.

The stats were still awfully good. Cooper finished with 10 catches for 201 yards and three touchdowns while lining across from Florida cornerback Vernon Hargreaves III, arguably the conference's top cover man.

Stats, however, won't do Cooper's recent run justice. It's hard to put into words what he's meant for a young quarterback, not just in this game but for the season. I know we don’t typically welcome wideouts into the Heisman conversation with open arms, but goodness does Cooper belong right now.

Dominant Defender: Zeek Bigger, ECU

"
ECU LB Zeek Bigger is named the Walter Camp Defensive Player-of-the-Week with 17 tackles and an interception TD. pic.twitter.com/vMyi0Z3gIk
— InsideECUSports (@InsideECUSports) September 21, 2014"

Before we celebrate a magnificent solo performance on the defensive side, let's applaud this name. It's as if the parents knew their son would play linebacker in college. (Oh, and he's rather good, too.)

Zeek Bigger, ECU linebacker, is a name built for a Hollywood football movie.

Bigger had himself a big day in ECU's magnificent 70-41 beatdown of North Carolina, finishing with 17 tackles and taking an interception back 46 yards for a touchdown. It was a score so lopsided you had to check it twice, and yep, it didn't change. (Well, it did change. ECU's total kept going up.)

With Bigger's performance, the junior now leads the nation in tackles (54). His name is also undefeated.

Video Game Box Score

—Melvin Gordon fumbled. That might seem like a strange place to begin with video game box scores, although this fumble was special. More specifically, it was Gordon's first-ever turnover at the college level and his first fumble lost in 322 carries. That's impressive. Oh, and he ran for more than 250 yards with five touchdowns on just 13 carries. That's not bad either.

—East Carolina is playing on novice, apparently. Or at least it seemed that way against North Carolina. The offense delivered 70 points, amassed 789 (!!!) total yards and converted 12 of 17 third downs. Oh, and the Pirates also averaged 7.5 yards per rush on 46 carries. Goodness.

Anti-Video Game Box Score

—Eastern Michigan finished the first half against Michigan State with one yard. That's one less than two for those keeping track at home. Michigan State finished its first half with 320 yards (and 49 points). I hope you didn't watch the second half and got some chores done instead.

—UConn ran a total of 36 plays against USF this week. This was not the first-half total; this was for the entire game. For perspective, Pittsburgh ran 18 plays on one drive against Iowa. Arizona ran 106 plays in its win against Cal. Running 36 plays—even in difficult weather—is ineptitude so unbelievable it should be given a parade.

Biggest Surprise: Jameis Winston Takes the Field

When Florida State head coach Jimbo Fisher saw his suspended quarterback dressed in uniform before the team's game against Clemson, he offered up the same glare you give your cable and Internet company when you are put on hold.

It was a hint of exhaustion, a dash of disbelief and a solid helping of nerves before a critical game, one where he would be without the player standing directly in front of him, helmet, pads and all. It came as a surprise to us, yet this was likely a miscommunication more than anything else.

That doesn't take away from Fisher's outstanding reaction, though.

Best Moment

I suppose "best" depends on your rooting interest, although the Cal-Arizona ending was nothing short of spectacular. And it wasn't just the very end, although we'll get to that shortly.

The fourth quarter alone gave us 50 points. After being down the entire game, Arizona bounced back and scored 36 points in the final 15 minutes to get within a field goal of winning.

Out of range, however, the Wildcats had to settle for a Hail Mary. Then this happened.

College football remains awesome, heartbreaking and unmistakably weird.

For the Highlight Reel

No, Clemson did not beat Florida State. But the Tigers delivered your early "Best Catch of the Year Featuring a Wide Receiver Wearing Only One Shoe" moment thanks to Mike Williams, who somehow caught this.

Losing a shoe wasn't even the most impressive part of this play. The catch itself—along with the early, soccer-like slide—had everyone wondering what exactly just happened.

This is a quality consolation prize, right? (I'm sorry.)

If the College Football Playoff Started Today... (or Why I Hate Your Team)

Keep in mind that these are not projections. This is how our College Football Playoff would look if the season ended today.

Our playoff would also be 64 teams and played over the course of three months in the Bahamas, but that's another conversation entirely. With that out of the way, here's where we stand.

1. Oregon

2. Oklahoma

3. Alabama

4. Texas A&M

Five Leftovers to Chew on

Gerald Herbert/Associated Press

1. Style points are so incredibly overrated, at least at this point of the year. As we look for the appropriate responses to Florida State and Oregon—two national championship favorites that enjoyed close calls for very different reasons—keep in mind how difficult the week-to-week grind can be for teams made up of 18- to-22-year-old kids. Stay alive, move on. It's that simple.

2. Mississippi State, as we have quickly learned, needs our utmost attention. Yes, the game against LSU got close (and weird) late, although the Bulldogs dominated this game, particularly at the line of scrimmage, throughout. Dak Prescott is emerging as a legitimate Heisman candidate, and Mississippi State might just be a Top 10 team.

3. Blake Sims throws a beautiful football. The Alabama quarterback is by no means a finished product, but there were a handful of "wow" throws included in his impressive performance against Florida. It's amazing how much clarity that position suddenly has after being blasted and critiqued the entire offseason.

4. Kudos to Bo Pelini and Nebraska. Now, beating Miami (and a true freshman at QB) won't suddenly solve all woes, but there is much to be excited about with the way this team is going about its business. Running back Ameer Abdullah is rolling, and the defense—particularly the front seven—looks active. This was the start Pelini needed.

5. Even in a loss, West Virginia is light years better than where it was last year. The Mountaineers were unable to withstand Oklahoma's late surge Saturday, although there's no shame in that. Clint Trickett has been fabulous under Dana Holgorsen, and the defense is playing much better than we could have ever imagined. Nothing is a given with so much football to be played, but it certainly feels like Holgo's hot seat has cooled.

Large Man Play of the Week

On his Michigan bio, Willie Henry is listed at 293 pounds. It is not every day that men near 300 pounds find the end zone, and thus, we must celebrate Henry's interception return with a hefty round of applause.

"
Michigan DL Willie Henry stumbles into the endzone for a 7-yd #PickSix. #UTAHvsMICH http://t.co/h0xDTfyrV3
— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) September 20, 2014"

Although he didn't have to run far—seven yards, to be exact—it does not matter. It's a touchdown, and it should be celebrated. Large men doing large things never becomes tiresome.

Mascot Save of The Week

Reveille, Texas A&M's loveable pup, was enjoying the game from a distance that was thought to be comfortable and out of range. Without warning, however, SMU wideout Der'rikk Thompson came barreling in that direction after an overthrow. We could make a joke about the SMU offense here, but we will refrain.

With Reveille suddenly in jeopardy, a brave A&M cadet stepped in and delivered the most impressive block of the afternoon.

"
SMU WR nearly runs into Texas A&M's mascot, but an A&M cadet was there to avert the collision: http://t.co/YP3u5yJ169
— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) September 20, 2014"

That's what matters most here, not the SMU jokes. Although they are tempting.

Horrendous Flop of the Week

Is this were the NBA, Army linebacker Stephen Ricciardi would be fielding a call from the league office and a fine the size of a Toyota Corolla. Needless to say, his attempt to draw a personal foul flag...did not work.

Behold Week 4's most amazing, unsuccessful acting job and a full football field trying to figure out what just happened.

This Week in Coffins That Are Actually Team-Centric Tailgating Fixtures

Sure, you could ignore that unused coffin. Or, you could paint it yellow, throw on a decal, paint some stripes and build the necessary inserts to make it a cooler for your LSU tailgates.

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Nobody tailgates quite like LSU. http://t.co/AY2EVxBUy9 pic.twitter.com/GppRLbQPXT
— Fancred (@Fancred) September 20, 2014"

Yes, someone did that. No backstory is necessary, really. Behold the tailgating champions of the universe.

(Also, can I have one or four of those?)

That One Time a Center Forgot What He Was Supposed to Do

In 25 years, perhaps ESPN will produce a 30 for 30 on Eastern Michigan center Dwayne Brown and his incredible non-snap against Michigan State. The commercial will start something like this:

"What if I told you that a center in a college football game forgot to snap the ball before being belted and flagged for illegal procedure shortly after?"

Then this clip would play, and you would sprint to your DVR.

This Week in Steve Spurrier Vines

South Carolina almost lost to Vanderbilt, which is something I did not expect to type at any point over the next few years. But it happened.

After falling behind 14-0, the Gamecocks eventually kicked it into gear and ended up winning by two touchdowns. It was not comfortable, and it really never looked all that easy.

After the game, an unhappy, sweaty Steve Spurrier delivered expected hilarity on the effort. This Vine sums his thoughts up quite nicely, and if you'll excuse me, I have to watch this for the next few hours.

If you have time, watch his entire press conference. You will not regret it.

This Week in Year-Old Vines from a Head Coach Who Loves Saying "Dudes"

More than a year ago, Boston College head coach Steve Addazio decided it was time to upload some Vines, promote the school and talk about "dudes." So he did, and he hasn't uploaded a Vine since.

Before he vanished, however, he gave us quick-hitting masterpieces like this.

And this.

And especially this.

Given Boston College's recent win against unbeaten USC, it's time for the Internet's great crusader to return to his comfort place, a place where dudes can be celebrated with six-second clips and mild Internet cheers.

Come back, coach. We need you.

From the Peanut Gallery (Best Tweets of the Weekend)

"
Pat Fitzgerald used three (!!!) timeouts to ice Western Illinois' kicker. This game is a steaming pile of crap.
— Chris Emma (@CEmma670) September 20, 2014"