Blake Griffin Showcases His Dramatic Side with 'Slam Poetry' Commercials

Dunking basketballs and delivering lines—these are Blake Griffin’s gifts. He was born to do these things.

No one in the NBA can lay down a drier line than the Los Angeles Clippers forward, who recently added three Vizio commercials to his long line of priceless television spots.

In a commercial titled “Slam Poetry,” Griffin waxes poetic on some of the game’s deeper subjects, including the transformative properties of tear-away pants and the knowing gaze of the promotional bobblehead doll.

Here are some of Griffin’s finer lines:

• “A quick costume change before taking the court...I’m wearing pants—no, look. Now I’m wearing shorts.”
  
• “At any other job, tearing off your pants would be illegal...but on the basketball court, it’s damn near regal.”
  
• “Sometimes I sit and I wish you were alive...so I can hit you with an itty-bitty high five.”
  
• “It ain’t no thing to take an elbow to the face...because you’re always there...to keep my pie hole in place.”
  
• “Mouth guard...it’s been a while since I’ve seen you, because you’re in my mouth.”
  

Chalk up another flawless victory for Griffin, who doesn’t appear to be capable of missing with his televised endorsements. He’s one of the few athletes whose natural goofiness translates perfectly to the screen.

We’ll keep our eyes open for more Slam Poetry readings. Hopefully Griffin’s next ad will explore the existential crisis of the 18-year-old ball boy—neither a ball nor a boy.

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