Week 2 College Football Superlatives from Kramer's Korner
College football is a cruel, ruthless game, one that regularly rips the hearts out of unflappable grown men and raises it to the sky for the world to see.
Enter McNeese State coach Matt Viator, who watched his team come up seconds short of pulling an upset so large it would have been difficult to grasp. Following the game, just a short while after the Nebraska scoreboard read 31-24 in favor of the Cornhuskers, Viator reacted exactly how anyone in his position would have reacted while waiting to address the media.
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Now, we don’t have the full context of this image, which is noteworthy. Nonetheless, it does its part in summarizing the emotional toll that comes with excitement followed by the harsh reality of crushing disappointment.
When you’re an FCS program assumed to be there for a paycheck—and that’s exactly what you’re doing, no matter how we try to spin it—we assume defeat is just all in a day’s work. Not for these coaches, though. The paycheck theory never applies, particularly when the stigmas are long dead deep in the fourth quarter.
McNeese State was close, so close that it took a monumental effort from one of the nation’s best players—more on that in a bit—to secure a victory.
There is no comfort in being paid a large sum of money to come to a stadium and nearly pull off the unthinkable. In the end, a loss is still a loss, and you can feel the hurt without truly understanding this kind of emotional burn.
College football is an amazing game; college football is a cruel, alliance-less monster.
Given the weekend that was, particularly for a certain conference that will remain nameless (for now), this sentiment can be shared in plenty of cities. As for other awards and observations from Week 2, including the best fan of the college football season, here they are.
Offensive Player of the Week: Vernon Adams Jr., Eastern Washington
Eastern Washington quarterback Vernon Adams Jr. had himself a day against a preseason Top 25 team. Adams completed 31 of 46 passes for 475 yards and seven—yes, seven—touchdowns on the road against Washington. He also ran for 16 yards (on 17 carries), which, well, somehow feels far less significant than the other numbers listed.
What’s even more impressive is that this performance came against one of the most experienced defenses in the country. And while his team was unable to pull the monster upset—losing 59-52—his work should be lauded.
It’s also worth highlighting that through two games, only 11 teams have thrown for seven touchdowns. (No big deal, it took him 60 minutes.)
Dominant Defender: Danny Shelton, Washington
How can the Offensive Player of the Week and the Dominant Defender come from the same game and two different teams? Allow me to explain this peculiar circumstance.
Yes, Washington gave up 52 points to Eastern Washington (see above), but that was through no fault of Danny Shelton’s. The senior defensive tackle finished the game with 12 tackles and four—yes, four—sacks in the 59-52 victory.
Through two games, the 339-pounder has six sacks overall. He is currently first in the nation and out in front by a wide margin; the next-closest player has three-and-a-half sacks through two games, per CFBStats.com.
His image above pretty much sums up Washington's current season rather perfectly.
Video Game Box Score
— Arkansas quarterback Brandon Allen completed only four passes in the Hogs' 73-7 win against Nicholls State. These passes totaled 117 yards. On paper, this isn’t all that impressive. But when you consider that all four of these completions resulted in touchdowns, you enter a bizarre world of offensive production.
— To say College of Faith struggled against the Tusculum defense would be a gross understatement. Yes, these are the names actual Division II programs, and they made history on Thursday night. The Tusculum defense held College of Faith to minus-100 total yards and minus-124 yards rushing in a 71-0 victory, both NCAA records. Burn the film, College of Faith. Burn it and never look back.
Anti-Video Game Box Score
— Well, I suppose we have to include the College of Faith offense here. Not your week, College of Faith.
— Oh, SMU. We’re going to be saying this a lot this season, aren’t we? After getting obliterated by Baylor in Week 1—which is understandable—the Mustangs fell to North Texas by the score of 43-6. Worst of all, however, is that the Mean Green finished with 15 penalties for 139 yards and still cruised. Oh, and SMU finished 1-of-11 on third downs, turned the ball over five times and rushed for eight yards.
Biggest Surprise: Pat Haden’s Sideline Cameo
During a football game, an athletic director of a major college football program received a text message from a staff member, requesting he come down to the field. He did. That’s weird as is, but let’s get weirder.
From there, USC’s Pat Haden—also known as College Football Playoff Committee member Pat Haden—argued with officials on the sideline. This encounter prompted a flood of columns and tweets requesting that Haden resign from the committee immediately.
The response was unexpected but not at all surprising.
Should a committee member be pleading for his team during a game? Probably not.
Should an athletic director suddenly transform into a mascot? Probably not.
Should an athletic director be on the committee that decides a college football postseason in the first place? Probably not.
Should Haden give up his seat? No. Let's just relax and find something else to be unexplainably mad about.
Best Moment
Disclaimer: If you’re a McNeese State fan, please skip to the next section or throw your computer through the nearest window.
Nebraska running Ameer Abdullah delivered a play that will be analyzed by football scientists for years to come. Tied with McNeese State with less than a minute remaining, Abdullah caught the ball in space and then turned into a superhero for 58 yards.
His touchdown gave Nebraska a victory—and maybe did a bit more for his head coach.
Watch it again. And again. And again. It still won’t seem real.
For the Highlight Reel
With Michigan State driving, poised to close the gap on Oregon, Ifo Ekpre-Olomu—the Ducks’ best defensive player—delivered the spectacular.
The All-American’s acrobatic leap proved to be one the key moments in Oregon’s 46-27 win over Sparty. It also deserves multiple viewings, because 99.9 percent of us would tear everything in our bodies attempting such a dive.
Take it away, Gus.
You can’t have him yet, NFL. He’s ours for a little while longer.
If the College Football Playoff Started Today... (or Why I Hate Your Team)
It’s that time again; time to make fanbases mad with rankings that carry absolutely no bearing on what the College Football Playoff will look like. I promise, Pat Haden did not campaign for USC’s inclusion below; this was my own doing.
- Oregon
- USC
- Georgia
- Florida State
Fan of the Week: Shirtless, Hatless, Disgusted Vanderbilt Fan
What do you do when your team is 0-2 and was outscored 78-10 in the first two weeks at home? Well, you do the reasonable thing: You rip off your shirt and hat, toss them with the utmost disdain from the stands and walk out sans your dignity (and the necessary attire to be served in most restaurants).
Bless you, sir. Keep fighting the good fight.
Five Leftovers to Chew on
1. Let's just forget that weekend ever happened, Big Ten. I promise not to bring it up if you won't. In fact, I've already forgotten about it. No, I'm not crying. OK, maybe I'm crying just a little bit. I need a moment.
2. What an impressive win for Oregon, and what a game overall. Marcus Mariota is truly spectacular, and Michigan State (to me) is still a Top 10 team. It'll be fascinating to see where these teams go from here and the playoff implications that will follow.
3. Even without Bryce Petty, the Baylor offense is machine-like. You could throw for 300 yards. Yes, you. And on the topic of offense, how good is wideout KD Cannon going to be? Heck, how good is he now? The true freshman caught six passes for 223 yards and three touchdowns against Northwestern State…in the first half.
4. Everett Golson is a different quarterback, and I say that knowing that tougher cornerbacks and competition are still to come. With that necessary disclaimer out of the way, it would seem he’s on the verge of a pretty special season after what we saw against Michigan. He’s must-see TV at the moment.
5. As good as business is for college football—and business is very, very good—the infusion of money and conference-hopping has killed some of the most important games, which are the roots of our enjoyment. The fact that Michigan and Notre Dame are ending their rivalry is a gut-punch to us all.
How to Not Start a Game, Starring Western Illinois
When receiving the opening kickoff, here is a short list of things one should not do.
1. Fumble
2. Fall Asleep
3. Get Caught Texting
4. Vomit
5. Do This…
Kyle Hammonds of Western Illinois found himself in kickoff purgatory after dropping the ball. The result was an early 2-0 lead for Wisconsin after only one second of play. This will win you bar trivia at some point; bank on it.
This Week in Large Man Greatness
Hello, Preston Smith.
The Mississippi State defensive end picked off his second pass of the season, and he did so in spectacular fashion.
The 270-pounder followed up the one-handed snag by taking it back for a touchdown. He remains the Bulldogs' best defensive back. I'm kidding, sort of.
This Guy
It’s the Dri-FIT bandana, the gas station sunglasses, the 14-pound headphones and that amazing blonde mane that make Brock Hekking a football treasure.
The Nevada defensive end has a look about him that is unique from any player in college football. It’s the mullet, certainly, but it’s so much more than that. The image above was taken as Hekking warmed up for Washington State on Friday evening, and it creates an accurate representation of the most interesting college football player on the planet.
And This Guy
We see your breathtaking mullet and raise you this gentleman’s mustache-beard hybrid, which belongs in some sort of facial hair museum. (If one doesn’t exist, let’s build one, just for this.)
You probably take your job very seriously, but I doubt you look as serious as this man did while waiting to escort Nevada head coach Brian Polian to the locker room.
That mustache-beard actually is a third-degree black belt and carries mace. Proceed with caution.
Mascot Nightmare Fuel
The Stanford Tree is here, mutant tongue exposed, ready to find you while you sleep for the rest of time. Never has such a huggable, cartoon piece of fabricated wood been so utterly horrifying.
Mascot Nightmare Fuel: Part 2
Speaking of mutants, I propose we start testing Maryland mascots for HGH and other performance-enhancing substances. Terrifying.
From the Peanut Gallery (Best Tweets of the Weekend)
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