The NBA Draft: I See White People

Bullets Wizards 0 - 0

Tomorrow night is the NBA Draft and I hadn’t planned on writing about it because most of you would rather read about wrestling, soccer, mustaches, hockey, and midgets.  But then I saw a piece in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch (that’s a “newspaper”) by the joyless Bryan Burwell (seriously, have you ever seen the dude smile?). His column was about University of North Carolina white guy Tyler Hansbrough and how there is in essence a double-standard applied to him.

I’ve got to give it to Happy Burwell in that his point is valid. People often question Hansbrough’s ability to excel in the pros based on his color, and not ability. Think about reading this scouting report: “played on a national champion, 6′9 power forward, well put together, averaged 20 points and 9 rebounds over four years.”

If he’s black, an analysis would likely read, “polished and ready for play in the NBA” a la Shane Battier. If he’s white, well, he just might be another Adam Morrison, Adam Keefe, Mark Alarie, or the man Burwell quotes often in his column, Jay Bilas, who was a star at Duke but couldn’t find the toilet in the NBA.

The reality is, however, that while Hansbrough might be a good fella, a solid college player, and a Candyland enthusiast — he’ll probably end up a 12-year pro who averages 13 points and 7 rebounds throughout an undistinguished career. Of course, he’ll also make $6 million annually over his career, which is about $6 million more than the fine staff of JSF is compensated.

Regardless, this is an interesting draft, as Blake Griffin looks like the only sure-fire stud among the prospects. Yes, there will be some surprises, but if you look at this preview from ESPN, there’s the potential for a lot of flops, and not in a Vlade Divac or Manu Ginoboli way.

I watched Spain’s Ricky Rubio play in the Olympics. He looked like the 12-year-old girl I dated when I was 23.  How about James Harden from Arizona State? Seems like a chubby small forward a la Glen Robinson without the jump shot. Syracuse’s Jonny Flynn is listed at 6′1. That’s amusing, as he was Gary Coleman’s stunt double in “Different Strokes” for three seasons. And Ty Lawson from UNC? King Rice anyone…..

Oye.

Sure, some of these guys will bust out of the gate and surprise us all. Stephen Curry will be interesting to watch but I have concerns about his hair. In reality though, it’s Griffin — photographed above with a Bullets fan courtesy of a shameless pitch from my new friend Chris Ward from Catalyst Public Relations which provides “Thinkable Results.”

But sadly, Griffin is most worth watching because he’s going to play for the Clippers, who organizationally are somewhere between Sarah Jessica Parker’s horse-like looks and a slice of thick, rich, delicious bacon.

And while even I have no idea what that means, I simply hope they won’t screw him up.

Carry on.

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