NFL Week-in-Review: A Few Quick Hits on This Week's Headlines

Sara HannonCorrespondent IJune 21, 2009

So this week was full of NFL news, unusual considering its only June, but hey, the football-starved fans who no longer have basketball or hockey to distract them are practically rabid for news (why else would so many be following every NFL-associated person's twitter page?)

We'll start off with a little of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

He's working on his rehab, he'll have a better idea by Monday whether or not he can still throw better than the High School kids he practices with. I feel like we are repeating last year all over again, and I don't want to hear another word about the quarterback.

If he keeps up this "I'm retiring" then "I feel I have another season in me" routine, he's going t end up the biggest joke in the NFL, tarnishing his Hall of Fame career. Yes, he will definitely help the Vikings, that's not my issue. My issue is that he's the QB who cried retirement. Next time he does it no one is going to listen.

Next up is Rodger Goodell, the Judge, Jury and Executioner of the NFL, has suspended Donte Stallworth indefinately. Now, Stallworth got 30 days, settled outside of court with the Victim's family, and is on probation for 10 years by pleading guilty to manslaughter.

Most people are up in arms because he killed a guy and only got 30 days in jail. Many people like Goodells move to suspend him because they felt the sentence was too light, but I have a problem with it.

The Commissioner is inconsistent with his punishments. Michael Vick had a very public downfall, so he may never get back in the NFL. This, in my opinion, is ridiculous. Yes, Vick did something very stupid, but he's served his time and he didn't hurt anyone (dogs are not people! It was cruel, yes, but come on people!).

Stallworth was also very public. But he admitted to everything, and settled with everybody. He didn't lie and try to cover anything up like Vick, he seems genuinely remorseful for what was a very bad decision.

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For this, though his debt to society will be paid by August, Stallworth may never play in the NFL again. Nor might Vick. Plaxico Burress? His trial has been postponed until after the season, so he can play. How, exactly, is this fair?

I'm all for having tough rules and a strict policy, because these guys are supposed to be role models. I get it, and I like that, but the punishment does not fit the crime, it fits how smeared the NFL's image will be.

When the Patriots were caught with the cameras, Goodell punished them and investigated them, but anyone with a brain will tell you that the Pats were not the only ones doing that (it is a copy-cat league). Did he investigate any other team? Baseball's steroid issue has led to tougher restrictions and testing on every team.

Then, I can guarantee you that if a Steelers WR does something wrong, he'll get punished more severely by the NFL than a Rams special teams guy.

Why? Because the American public cares more about about High Profile Receiver from Pittsburgh than No-name guy from St. Louis. The special teams guy can usually be swept under the rug, but not a high-profile player.

Quite frankly, that's ridiculous. Missing training camp fines you a specific amount, whether you are the face of the franchise or the guy who gets on the field once every three years. Going 10 miles over in a residential area will cost you the same amount of money whether you drive a Camero or a Caravan.

Why isn't the NFL like that? Because one man is Judge, Jury, and executioner. I'd like to see a list of punishments that correspond to crimes. A DUI gets you four games, no matter who you are.

If you get into serious trouble, as Donte Stallworth is, suspend him for 8-10 games, and put him on probation. One slip, one tiny infraction and you are banned from the game forever.

Yes, its strict, but how many NFL players will clean up their acts if they know there's a chance they could lose their jobs permanently? Its time to bring fairness back in to the NFL, and I swear if Burress gets to play in '09 and Vick does not, I will be seriously disappointed in the NFL.

And if you're worried about PETA protesting, I live by their HQ, they built their building on the waterside, destroying plenty of helpless fish and clam habitats. Pot, meet kettle. And I'm pretty sure the majority of NFL fans are not so in to the PETA scene.

A few more quick hits:

Brandon Marshall wants out of Denver. Surprised? Nope McDaniels needs to do one of two things: get rid of Marshall and call it a rebuilding year or make him stay in Denver and take back that locker room.

Come on, you went to Belichick U, get your own hoody and channel your former boss. Add Denver to the Cosa Nostra, be the head of your mob family, you not the consigliere anymore.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bun...Brady are expecting their first child (his second) sometime this winter (most likely during the playoffs). Will this be a distraction or inspiration for the newly-married heartthrob of the NFL? I'm going to go with inspiration.

But hey, look at it this way, when the Patriots get ignored by the NFL network or Sportscenter, you can always tune into TMZ or E! to get news on everyone's favorite power-couple. (seriously, they are moving up on Brangelina)

That's all for this week, don't forget to refresh google news obsessively Monday to see the long-awaited decision from the Quarterback He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

The apparently ageless and indecisive No. 4 will know by then (probably) whether or not he is ready to come back and help the Vikings. I'm sure everyone is just on pins and needles waiting to hear the news.