Those Mean Sports Mascots!

As I mentioned in a post on Monday, a commenter on my Anaheim Ducks concept post was upset that there are so many "angry" mascots in sports.

Again, here's his quote:

"What the hell is up with making mascots angry? Why do they have to be angry? I don't understand this mindset. It's completely pointless and uncomfortable."

After reading his comment, I went over to SportsLogos.net to check out all of the current logos from the four major sports teams. (Yes, the NHL is still in the top-four, despite what some in the sports media blather on about.)

The NFL has the most angry mascots, followed by the NHL. This is not surprising, considering the physicality of each sport. I would imagine that a team would want to portray themselves, through their mascot even, as a team that is not to be f**ked with.

This is not to say that if your mascot is a smiling Indian, a surprised bird or a deer that looks like he just received a surprise prostate exam, that teams will walk all over you. It's just that most teams that have a mascot want them to look mean.

Seems rather obvious to me. Tough sports, played by tough men, require tough logos. It's no different than the images that Knights, Vikings, Roman warriors, or Spartans had on their shields to intimidate their enemies.

I'll take a look at hockey closely here, since this is a hockey blog. But I'll also briefly touch on the other three major leagues: NBA, MLB, NFL.

First up, the NHL.

In the NHL, 11 teams out of 30 have some sort of human or animal mascot. Nine out of those 11 mascots have anger issues. Lets take a look at the 11 mascots.

Chicago Blackhawks.
Not at all mean. I'm not up on my American Indian culture, but I would suppose that that's war paint he has on and he's ready for a smiling rumble.

Vancouver Canucks.
Definitely pissed off. You'd be too if you were stuck in a cramped letter "C".

Phoenix Coyotes.
I can't tell if he's mean looking or not. I'd guess it's a relieved look now that Jim Balsillie is out of his hair for a little while.

Florida Panthers.
He's still mad about that Roberto Luongo trade.

Pittsburgh Penguins.
You just won the Stanley Cup for crap's sake. Lighten up, Francis. The Sidney Crosby playoff beard comments are bound to go away sooner or later.

Nashville Predators.
I know, right? F***in' Jim Balsillie! Definitely an angry mascot here.

Buffalo Sabres.
Everyone in Buffalo is angry about the slug...even the slug.

Ottawa Senators.
Yeah, I'd say it's an angry look. But I have no witty comment for this one. Sorry.

San Jose Sharks.
Oh yeah, he's pissed. This little fella is surely terrorizing and making blog commenters very uncomfortable!

Atlanta Thrashers.
This bird can kick any MLB bird mascot's ASS! With a name like "Thrashers", would you really want a twinkle-toes mascot?

Minnesota Wild.
What's with the Christmas colors? Now, I'M mad.

So less than half of the NHL use a mascot, and only nine of those would be considered angry. This is not an epidemic as the anonymous commenter makes it seem. Sure, some of these mascots need anger management, but it's not like every team out there has a scowling wolverine clawing it's way out of a Reebok jersey.

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Now let's quickly take a look some of the scowling and the twinkle-toed mascots from the other leagues.

NFL - Click image for larger view

32 NFL logos, 18 mascots, 12 of them definitely mean looking. The most disturbing of the bunch would be the Raiders. Not only is he wearing an eye patch, he's also winking. Creepy.

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NBA - Click image for larger view

30 NBA logos, 12 mascots, only 7 of them look mean. The NBA has the worst looking mascots of all leagues. Wow. A leaping wizard, a drunken Irishman, something that almost looks like a unicorn, a surprised looking deer, and a bug? Seriously?

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MLB - Click image for larger view

30 MLB logos, 6 mascots, and 1 angry Pirate. They do love their birds in baseball and, you know, offensive, grinning Indians. Baseball is the least physical of these four leagues, so it's not surprising that they don't really need some intimidating mascot.

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I hope this little piece was not too uncomfortable for the anonymous commenter.

Smile.

This article originally appeared on PuckDrawn.com
All pro league images courtesy of SportsLogos.net