Zapping Around NBA Finals Coverage

The Finals that the world did not want to see just began—with the demolition of the Magic at the Lakers' hands.

Do I smell a sweep?

"Certainly," said one analyst, still grumpy because of LeBron's loss. "The Magic are a very weak team, [one] that does not have enough quality to beat the Lakers and to become NBA champions."

The man across the table could only agree:

"Of course; the Magic do not have a player that can lead them, like the Lakers have Kobe and those guys from Cleveland have LeBron. This will be a boring Finals; there were no big dunks or big shots [in Game One]...nothing!"

I must concur. These Finals are going to be flat-out boring!

Heck, one of the talking heads went on to say:

"Instead of showing tonight's highlights, we decided to show you LeBron's top 100 plays from this season."

I sat back and watched the symphony of howls, dunks, rims being banged, players being crossed over and dunked on...

"Oh, come on don't cry," said one commentator.

"You know, I just get emotional with LeBron," said the other. "Why? Why? Why do we have to see Howard in the Finals?!"

I grabbed my tissues and joined in the mourning. Oh, why is the world so unfair?

Oh LeBron, it's not your fault, you're better than anyone, better than MJ.

The Finals are on again. Ah, I think I'll go watch some pee-wee basketball across the street.

After all, who cares. This is the series that nobody wanted.