Pittsburgh Pirates Commit Yet Another Crime Against Hu-"Fan"-Ity

Thaddeus YeiserCorrespondent IJune 5, 2009

BRADENTON, FL - FEBRUARY 24:  Outfielder Nate McClouth of the Pittsburgh Pirates  poses for photos during spring training media day on February 24, 2008 at Pirate City in Bradenton, Florida.  (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)

Well done Pirates! You've once again declared this season a lost cause and traded away our only viable All-Star, Nate McLouth. All this despite only being six games out of a weak division in early June! 

Well I guess it wouldn't make much sense to try and build the team around a solid young player, who is both a phenomenal hitter, a talented fielder and has also shown strong leadership skills in the lockerroom. 

Yeah, wouldn't want to do that; It might endanger our goal of reaching 17-consecutive losing seasons. 

In fact, now that you mention it, we've done this before, haven't we?

Let's recap: In 2003, the Pirates traded away Aramis Ramirez, who went on to become a two-time All-Star with the Cubs and has hit .300 or better many times in his career.

Last year, the Pirates traded both Jason Bay and Xavier Nady. Both were productive outfielders who could be relied on for their fielding and the ability to produce RBI. Jason Bay was also a two-time All-Star. Now you can add the all-star Nate McLouth to that list.

That's right, we sure as heck wouldn't want to keep a nucleus of solid players together. If we did that we just might break .500, or even fill some seats. 

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Well don't worry Pirate nation, we'll be able to dodge that bullet for another year. The streak is still intact!

Now if you haven't noticed by the sheer wonder and advancement of PNC Park (voted best ballpark in the majors), the Bucs' front office isn't strapped for cash. It just happens to be that the Pirates are one of those teams that can't fathom paying an All-Star player All-Star money. 

I mean they have to stick to the Pirates famous formula, right? You know it starts with a great farm system that breeds solid ball players.

They move up to the majors, play a few good years and become a legitimate star.  Then they ask to be payed what they deserve, and well we'll just have none of that.

Sure enough, we trade them away for more "prospects" to start the process all over again.

That's the basic way of things. Develop talent and, well, let them go.

Sounds more like a Triple-A team to me, and the owner is just fine and dandy with that.

So, Bucs fans, it's that time of year again. Let's put yet another season on the shelf because we're all "frugal", and "careful with money." I mean, it's not like the goal of sports is to win, or you know to be successful. 

Because if it is then our front office needs to read the the Baseball Rule book (Listed under common sense and things a jellyfish would know).

World Series Trophy: Given to a team which reaches the postseason and is able to win the best out of five in the ALDS/NLDS, best out of seven in the NLCS/ALCS and best out of seven in the Championship round.

Wait, playoffs???

Oh yeah!!! That thing at the end of the season that...oh, nevermind.  We'll just sit here and continue to trade away our only chance of ever being legit again.

And the owner can walk by Roberto Clemente's statue everyday and ignore everything that this team used to stand for. I guess the rest of us will have to stand by and suffer at the hands of incompetence.

It's just a tragedy that when the day comes that this team is sold and has to leave Pittsburgh, that all the things this team did in the past will account for nothing.

Oh well, the front office will just say "Easy come easy go! Not like this team used to be a part of this city right?" 

Shame on them.

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