WWE PPV Review and Grade: TLC Ultimately Underwhelming

WWE's TLC ended similar to how it started—quickly and with little fanfare.

TLC used to be a match whose very suggestion immediately took things to another level. But that's when it was being utilized by professionals, athletes like the Hardy Boyz, the Dudley Boyz and Edge and Christian. These were guys who understood the variety of lethal weapons they had at their disposal and how to use them to get the most out of a crowd.

Last night was a painful reminder of how far removed we are from an era defined by more than cheap pops. Orton and Cena simply failed to make the history Stephanie McMahon was destined to see created. Her usage of the word for the past month alone might have been enough to get it trending on Twitter.

The midcard was decent but, frankly, underwhelming. Let's run through the matches.

Fandango Defeats Dolph Ziggler 

The most exciting thing about this undercard? Watching Summer Rae dance. Maybe WWE knew as much—she distracted Dolph Ziggler and earned Fandango a win. Dolph Ziggler's stock is plummeting fast, and he's rapidly approaching jobber status. 

CM Punk Defeats The Shield

You had to figure WWE would start looking for ways to break this stable up. They've been here for over a year now, they've already held and lost the tag-team titles and now, all three of this supposedly destructive force lost to one man.

Sure, the one man was a seven-time champion, but this is The Shield, the team that took out The Rock and The Undertaker. I didn't think there was a way they could realistically have Punk emerge victorious, but I suppose that vicious eye-gauge maneuver was enough to inhibit Roman Reign's ability to see two feet in front of him.

After missing Punk and hitting a fellow member, Punk applied his trademark and stole a victory from a group whose mystique is rapidly declining.

Could another push of CM Punk be around the corner? If we're treating The Shield like WWE elite, then the victory has to count for something other than an outcome buried in disbelief. 

Big E Langston Defeats Damien Sandow

What has happened to the intercontinental championship (IC)? Is this really the field of competition sitting right beneath World Title-caliber wrestlers?

Big E Langston is an extremely impressive physical specimen, but similar to other characters of his mold, he's a one-trick pony. Massive muscles, a few big slams, zero charisma other than a few fake (or real?) bouts of 'roid rage mid-match.

Sandow was easily dismissed, and the lackluster intercontinental championship continues its unimpressive streak around the waist of Big E. 

I don't know what direction they go with Big E. His recent stints commentating during matches have only diminished my faith in his mic skills, as he often comes off as robotic and lacking creativity. Though give him credit—he might have said he would retain the IC belt 30 times between TLC and the beginning of December, and he did.

AJ Dee Defeats Natalya

The divas were able to build a little bit of drama, but ultimately AJ Lee defeated Natalya in an all-around forgettable Diva's match. 

The Rhodes Brothers Win Fatal 4-way Elimination Tag

This was a match that had the potential to really entertain. That's the case whenever a fatal four-way is going down, because it's supposed to be littered with constant action.

Sadly, this match was so painfully routine, it might as well have been a normal tag match. Goldust eliminated Ryback, which also eliminated Ryback's partner Curtis Axel. They were both quickly forgotten as Goldust started immediately selling for the Real Americans.

The Big Show was tagged by an ailing Goldust and promptly removed the Real Americans from the match when Cesaro's dive from the top rope was countered, which set up a finale between the Rhodes Brothers and the recycled Jack and Giant tagteam of Rey Mysterio and Big Show.

The finale wasn't bad, but as I stated before, there was nothing memorable. There were a few moments when Mysterio looked like he could steal a victory, but Cody caught the 619 and eventually delivered the CrossRhodes. 

The match concluded with all four babyfaces exchanging good jobs and hugging it out, which of course screams TLC.

R Truth Defeats Brodus Clay

The best thing about this match? We may have witnessed the end of the Funkadactyls. After telling Tensai that he was a "main eventer," (probably referring to his WWE 2K14 online rank), both Tensai and the cheerleading Funkadactyls left ringside. R-Truth rewarded everyone by delivering a kick and pinning Clay, ending this woefully underwhelming match.

Brodus Clay may work better as a heel—this might have been the way to move him along that route.

Kofi Kingston Defeats The Miz in No DQ Match

In what might have the been the least-cared-about match on the docket—which is saying a lot, considering the dark match was Ziggler and Fandango—Kofi Kingston took advantage of a bare turnbuckle that Miz had undone in an attempt to take this match between two jobbers extreme, or at least as extreme as a WWE no DQ match can be today.

No personal bias here, the fans were dead silent for this one. There was actually one guy who rose above the silence, just to reiterate that "this is boring," in case you weren't already aware. Fans welcomed the Trouble in Paradise kick, if only because it meant this match was finally over.

The Wyatts Defeat Daniel Bryan

In a match that actually delivered, the Wyatts laid an absolute beat-down on the undersized Daniel Bryan.

Bray Wyatt gave a traditional uncomfortable promo before extinguishing the lantern and leading the team ringside, where he took his place in the random yet conveniently placed rocking chair. Erick Rowan and Luke Harper did what two guys of their size would realistically do to someone Bryan's size.

Bryan kept it interesting and utilized frequent kicks as much as possible, but it was ultimately Bray Wyatt who stole this show.

His crab-walking impersonation of The Exorcist actually drew "That was creepy!" chants, a tribute to his overall insidious demeanor. He eventually secured Bryan in a headlock, eerily kissed him on the head and delivered a crippling Sister Abigail. The review on his finisher is mixed, but Bryan sold it extremely well, and for once in this aging PPV, I was convinced that kicking out was an impossible feat.

Randy Orton Defeats John Cena in TLC Match 

Look, I wanted this match deliver on every level imaginable. The sport's two most recognizable personalities, the faces of the franchise, squaring off in a match WWE fans have witnessed nearly cripple people.

Sure, those days are long behind us, but that doesn't mean the intensity couldn't be maxed, if even for just an evening. I mean, Stephanie McMahon was convinced history was going to be made, and I guess if you consider the second unifying of these titles history, it was. But the match itself was simply forgettable.

Be honest: Have you ever witnessed a weaker utilization of tables in a TLC match? I can't remember how many there were, but I can remember how not one of them was broken in a manner that made fans stand.

The first table was broken after Cena hit Orton in the face with the ladder while he was standing outside the ropes. He, of course, falls backward into the table, as if he and the table were playing the trust game. "Just go ahead," the table calmly whispered to Orton. "I'll catch you." The break hardly made a sound.

Cena sort of tackled Orton through the next table in the corner, which was explosive but remarkably safe. The move of the match had to be a counter Cena had on Orton that turned into an AA that put Orton through the Spanish announce table, which, of course, pleases everyone.

But it's been done. Literally, Cena just put this guy trough an announce table two weeks ago on Raw, so the pop was just too familiar. The rest of the match included a ton of chair shots to flat backs, including one that Orton landed on Cena while he was clinging to the titles in midair. The steel steps may have been used more than all the tables, ladders and chairs combined.

The match looked to be taking a step in the extreme direction when Orton handcuffed Cena to a bottom-rope turnbuckle. But in PG Era fashion, Orton passed up a chance to deal significant damage to a cuffed Cena and instead went for the belts.

Cena ends up destroying the turnbuckle and literally taking the bottom rope with him to dismiss Orton from the ladder. But with a healthy table still standing in the corner, Orton eventually pulls Cena from the ladder into the table. 

The bump was probably supposed to be a lot more impressive—he was probably meant to crash through the table. He may have avoided serious injury. Again, just an awkward landing.

Which, of course, was enough to end the match as Cena lay apparently unconscious. Orton slowly ascended the ladder, looked back at Cena for a few moments, as if to give the impression that he was considering going back to Cena and delivering the kind of pops WWE fans expect in a match like this. Of course, those thoughts were quickly dismissed as he removed the belts and became the new "champion of champions."

This was a match that was supposed to sell TLC by itself. Sadly, it just didn't live up. Despite a few impressive pops, there were just no moments, no pockets of time where nothing else but what just happened on your television matters. The utilization of the tables was frankly weak.

So many possibilities—stack the tables, set them up outside the ring and use the ladder for an optimal vantage point to execute a move that would ignite the building. Stack the tables, put someone through more than one at once. It just didn't happen, this was painfully standard.

Ultimately, the WWE remains awkwardly stuck between PG and extreme, with the latter rarely overcoming the former. After Triple H's music started TLC, he was sure to have his end it as The Authority came out to the ring to congratulate the new champion. 

Overall: C-

To be candid, the event was just flat. It was refreshing to have a no-nonsense ending for once, but that's about all the refreshment that was offered.

Creative needs to think of something better. The top names of this brand failed to blow the roof off, despite fighting in a match that would combine the titles, despite fighting in a match that allowed tables, ladders and chairs. 

So what do you think? Am I longing for a product that simply no longer exists or is my disappointment validated? Isn't it ridiculous that the WWE 2K14 video game has more "OMG" moments than the actual product? Is it egregious to ask—no, to demand—for something better? 

Was your $55 justified?