George Wright's Mojo Morphs Blue Jay Bats

Most of MLB’s expert prognosticators figured the Toronto Blue Jays to finish in last place this year.  But with one-fifth of the 2009 season come and gone, the team is still leading the tough American League East. 

Despite winning 86 games in 2008, the Jays finished in fourth place behind the Rays, Red Sox and Yankees.  The team’s pitching staff had the best ERA in the majors, but the batting order was woeful.

Four-fifths of the rock-solid rotation which started 2008 are not available early this season.  Litsch, Marcum and McGowan are on the disabled list and A.J. Burnett opted out of his Toronto contract to sign for $82-million with the Yankees, so he would “have a chance to win.”   

In spite of all this, Jays’ current patchwork starting staff has been adequate and, amazingly, the team’s run production is the best in major league baseball.

The main question now is, how long will the everyday players continue to swing hot bats?  If there's any credence to a story I recently heard over the wall while I was sitting in a men’s room stall at the Rogers Centre between innings, it could be for the entire 2009 season and beyond. 

This, incidentally, is one of the most unbelievable tales I have ever heard, so I wouldn't go betting the family jewels on it.

The story evolves from a clandestine meeting Blue Jays’ manager, Cito Gaston, and batting coach, Gene Tenace, had over more than a few  adult beverages late last October. 

The main subject for discussion was how they were going to hold on to their jobs for the entire 2009 season, considering that the pitching staff would likely stink and the 2008-edition everyday players had hit less than a buck-ninety with two outs and runners in scoring position. 

They apparently came to the conclusion that their starting pitching would be lousy no matter what, but there might be some hope for improved clutch hitting.

Tenace admitted to Cito that he had already tried out everything he knew about hitting and that nothing seemed to work.  After a considerable amount of brain storming—and quite a few more libations—allowed that the only thing he could think of was Divine intervention.

But Cito reminded him that GM J.P. Riccardi had been working with a priest for years and one second-place finish was all the Jays got out of it.

Well, that's about the time when Cito was struck with a fantastic notion.  Came like a bolt of lightning.  That's when this story starts to get weird.  Very, very weird. 

Cito shared his revelation with Tenace and, believe it or not, they decided to go with magic.  Real magic.  And that's how the great dead-ball era hitter, George Wright, got involved.

George Wright's stats in 1869 were 49 home runs, 339 runs and a .629 batting average in 57 games.  Baseball didn't keep track of RBI's in those days, but Wright must of had at least a couple of hundred of 'em.  Wright's humongous 56 oz. hickory bat, "Magic John", is presently enshrined in a high-security display case in Cooperstown.

Cito Gaston just happens to be a distant relative of a 108 year-old hoodoo priestess in New Orleans.  Her full title and name is Doctor Auntie Maybelle Papaloos.  Hoodoo is an Afro-American system of folk magic, not to be confused with the Voodoo program which originates off-shore. 

Gaston flew to the Big Easy in early November to discuss his employment issue with Auntie Maybelle.  Her great-uncle, John Papaloos, was a groundskeeper back in the dead-ball era.  George Wright was convinced that Papaloos was his team's good luck charm.

Auntie Maybelle put together a mojo bag in Blue Jays blue flannel—instead of the usual green or red—to help Gaston out of his dilemma.  He wore the mojo bag on a string around his neck on the flight home. 

The little mojo bag, small enough to be worn as an amulet, contains hickory dust, ash dust, a tiny High John the Conqueror root and other magic ingredients.  John the Conqueror was the son of an African king. 

Although he spent his entire adult life in captivity in the American South, he was a great man who overcame much adversity and was able to maintain his dignity, self-respect and sense of inner freedom despite his miserable existence.

Gene Tenace apparently took the mojo bag to the Hall of Fame at Cooperstown, bribed a attendant to open George Wright's display case, and then carefully rubbed every square inch of Wright's bat with the bag.

Since January, a Blue Jays' equipment man—sworn to utter secrecy—has been using the amulet to painstakingly rub down every single bat in every new shipment that arrives at the Rogers Centre. 

Sure, there’s a lot of skepticism about the efficacy of magic these days, but every single Blue Jays batter in the order swears by it.  Best hitting team in the majors.  Can't argue with that.  Even Vernon Wells is getting his hits with two outs and runners in scoring position.

If you discount this story out-of-hand, I wouldn't blame you.  At first, I did the same.  Still, as the Jays' 2009 season progresses, it’s becoming more and more obvious that something's going on that isn't quite normal.  And one of the other sides of normal is para-normal.  Go figure.