Dykstra's "@#$% Out!"

A former editor of Players Club poorly portrayed the periodical's founder, Lenny Dykstra, a 4-time All-Star on the baseball diamond, in this month’s edition of GQ Magazine.

Kevin Coughlin, who is currently employed as a photo editor at the New York Post, provided a nightmarish account of the 67 days he worked for Dykstra, 46, a fan favorite when he played outfield for the New York Mets and the Philadelphia Phillies.

Players Club is a magazine designed to advise professional athletes how to utilize their massive earnings in a constructive way that will prohibit any future financial struggles.

The first four athletes to grace the covers of the magazine were Derek Jeter, Chris Paul, Tiger Woods and Danica Patrick.

Coughlin claimed that "Nails" called him on speaker phone and bragged, "Nobody can call me a racist. I put three darkies and a bitch on my first four covers."

Apparently dumbfounded by the tobacco fiend's comments, Coughlin said he asked, "What was that, Lenny?"

"I said I put three spearchuckers on the cover," exclaimed Dykstra with great satisfaction.

On another occasion, Coughlin alleges "the Dude" ridiculed a particular layout and demeaned the work as "faggy" despite the presence of a homosexual page designer in the room.

Upon conclusion of his insensitive and expletive-laced tirade, Dykstra asked Coughlin, "Did you see the look on that fag's face?"

Dykstra refuted all of Coughlin's accusations and accounts and asserted in an interview with the Philadelphia Inquirer that his banished employee is a "liar."

"I'm not going down in the dirt with this guy," said Dykstra, a known steroid abuser who presently walks like Ozzy Osborne and speaks like a mixture between Muhammad Ali and Andrew Dice Clay. "He's ticked off because he got fired. He was masquerading as a photo editor."

Dykstra, who recently purchased Wayne Gretzky’s $17 million estate and serves as president of several of his own privately held companies, particularly scoffed at Coughlin's allegations of racism because he lived with African-American teammates and drug addicts Daryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden during his days with the Metropolitans.

"I lived with Strawberry and Gooden," emphasized the man day trading deity Jim Cramer proclaimed "one of the great ones" in the financial business world.

Considering the frequent debaucheries committed by the Mets in the 1980's, it is fair to predict that “Nails” was so high he didn't even realize "the Dead End Kids" were black when they all roomed together.

Whether stated in jest or not, the 1993 Silver Slugger Award winner's remarks have created great controversy, and many have labeled Dykstra as a racist and homophobe.

The Vice President of Public Relations for the Atlanta Hawks, Arthur Triche, told the Daily News that he has indefinitely banned Dykstra's magazine from his team’s locker room en lieu of the recent GQ article.

"I don't care if he was trying to crack a joke or otherwise, in this day and age there's no room for that foolishness," Triche said. "I'm not going to sit here and automatically believe he didn't say it. I'm not ready to buy it.”

It certainly sounds as though working for Dykstra is akin to being employed by Eastbound & Down’s character Kenny Powers.

But, after the most recent episode of HBO’s show, Kenny is currently “in” and “Nails,” well, “you’re fucking out!”

http://www.newyorkyankeesnews.com/colin815/weblog/6759/imus-will-be-fine-lane-kiffin-is.html