Am I Evil For Taking So Much Pleasure in A-Rod's Hip Injury?

After watching eleven hours of coverage of Alex Rodriguez's hip injury (and suffering the indignity of having "The Curly-Haired Boyfriend" use the same rhyme as I did), I just can't get this smile off of my face.

I know, he hasn't gone in for the surgery, but watching them talk about that douchebag suffering the same injury that forced Mike Lowell to miss most of the Playoffs (that being one of the chief reasons that the Sox missed out on the Series last year) and has Chase Utley out for the first two months of the season makes me happier every time I think about it.

At the moment, the prognosis for his recovery from a torn labrum in his hip ranges anywhere from missing two weeks (if his rehab and rest goes well) to four or more months (if he opts for surgery). Some are saying that he might "Chase Utley" his way through the season by powering through 2009's games depite the pain, but we all know that most infants are tougher than A-Rod, and he wouldn't make it three weeks with the type of pain that Utley and Lowell suffered. Even if he tries to gut it out, he'll feel it every time he swings, moves to field a ground ball or attempts to run the bases.

I always thought Douche-Rod was the bottom.

The part that really excites me is the impact it will have on the Yankees (and therefore the Red Sox) if he misses significant time. With all the pressure of their big contracts and missing the best run producer in their lineup, CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett will find themselves responsible for keeping their team in games more often.

Mark "She Wears the Pants" Teixeira will become the focal point of a lineup that is aging quickly and scored three runs or less 73 times last season. He is a slow starter historically (.251 career AVG in April), is missing his best protection in the lineup, and just signed an eight-year, $180-million contract in a city where people do not pay $810,000 to see an Opening Day loss.

Teixeira will be expected to carry guys like Johnny Damon, Derek Jeter (no matter how much you respect the guy, you have to admit that him starting over Jimmie Rollins in the WBC is ree-dick-you-luss), and Jorge Posada without A-Roid in the lineup and has never faced this kind of pressure. 

On the flip side, without Douche-Rod (lets see how many insulting names for him I can use in one column) manning the hot corner, the Yanks have such luminaries as Cody Ransom or Angel Berroa (former AL Rookie of the Year) lined up to take the spot. This will not do for them if that replacement has to be there for the four to five months it would take for him to come back from surgery.

Potential trading partners, on the other hand, would know that the Yanks are desperate, and would force them to give up some high-value prospects in a league where building from within is the new trend. Also, two of the most attractive options, Melvin Mora and Scott Rolen, are in the same division and would be very hard to get.

Garret Atkins of the Rockies and the Mariners' Adrian Beltre are also options, but both would be pricey in terms of prospects and addtions to the salary (but hey, if they're charging $2,500 a seat for normal games, I'm pretty sure Hank and Hal can afford it). 

Nobody knows at this point what is going to happen (except maybe Yuri Sucart) but it seems that the karma train is getting ready to hit "The Biggest Douche in the Universe" and his steroid-using teammates ludicrously (yes, I went the plaid) hard.

Either way, his removal from the lineup makes the Yankees worse, lightens up the load in one of the best divisions ever seen in baseball, and makes it easier for the Red Sox to embarrass them more than they already have themselves. It makes me happy, and if I'm evil because of that, then I really don't care.

Go Sox.

Done.

This article originally appeared on GetOutofMyBallpark.com.