Evegni "Geno" Malkin and Sean "Out of Vogue" Avery Need New Nicknames

The Big E, Eric Lindros, is in the news again.

And so is Sean "The Agitator" Avery.

Maybe what Evgeni Malkin needs in order to get out of the shadows of Crosby and Ovechkin is a great nickname. Everybody knows Sid The Kid and Ovie-1, or The Wizard of O, but what about "Gino".

Malkin needs a nickname like The Great One, 99, Mario the Magnificent, or Mr. Hockey.

'Gino' sounds too much like 'genome'. Let's not call Malkin "The Human Genome".

Why is he called "Geno", anyway?

Evgeni is Russian for Eugene, many Italians shorten Eugene to Gino, and Pittsburgh has a big Italian population.

Ace, The Red Baron, Dipsy Doodle Dandy, The Big Bomber, The Big Train, The Mule, Jethro, The Big M, Moose, and Iron Man have already been used.

We've already had The Russian Rocket, after The Rocket and The Pocket Rocket.

How about "The Big Man From Magnitogorsk", "the Scoring Machine from the Metallurg", or The Greatmalkin?

Malkin was made out of iron and steel in Siberia, forged in Mother Russia, and honed in Steeltown, USA.

He could be called Greatmalkin as he reminds people of Graymalkin, the cartoon character in the Marvel X-Men series. The name also alludes to the witches' cat in Shakepeare's Macbeth. Malkin is an old term for a cat.

Evgeni "The Siberian Cat" Malkin?

Hockey has given us some great nicknames: Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion, Bashin' Bill Barilko, Gump Worsely, and The Dominator.

I don't know about calling Tie Domi "The Albanian Assassin."  Dave Williams was called Tiger, but now some golfer named Eldrik Tont is known as "Tiger" Woods. 

Will they call Sean Avery "The Comeback Kid," or will he be known as "Seconds" or "Sloppy" when he returns from anger management or behaviour modification? "Anger Management Avery" has an alliterative ring to it.

When he won a place with the Detroit Red Wings, he walked into the dressing room and announced "The A-Dog is here" but it never caught on. They called him "The Puppy" instead.

He says he was called a lot of names in Dallas, after spending the summer as an intern with Vogue. Maybe they'll call him In Vogue Avery—or Out of Vogue Avery.

People magazine called him one of the sexiest men alive. Hockey players named him the most hated hockey player in the NHL.

Avery was the nemesis of Martin Brodeur, the goalie of the New Jersey Devils, who has been called "Satan's Wallpaper."

Bobby Orr never had a nickname other than "Number Four", even though he's considered the number-one defenceman of all time and the second-best hockey player in history—so far.

The top ten best nicknames from other sports include The Golden Bear, Mr. October, Charlie Hustle, Basketball Jesus, Air Jordan, Shoeless Joe Jackson, The Human Eraser, The Refridgerator, Iron Mike, and "He Hate Me"—for Rod Smart of the XFL.

But what nickname can compete with "The Puck Goes Inski", for Steve Buzinski, who played nine NHL games and allowed in more than six goals per game?