Tom Brady's Newsboy Hat and Outfit: 20 Terrible Jokes

Josh Zerkle@JoshZerkleChief Writer IIIApril 23, 2012

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was spotted after the 100th anniversary celebration of Boston's Fenway Park, and oh heavens to Betsy that hat.

Brady was spotted with wife Gisele Bundchen and these two other guys that opened a boutique called rag & bone. No really, that's how they spell it. With all lowercase letters. It adds to the raggedy-ness and boniness when we spell it that way.

It's always something new with Tom Brady, whether he's growing out his hair or whatever, and most of the sporting world have already taken the legendary quarterback to task for his fashionable look.

I had to join in the fun, but since the "newsie" jokes have already gone stale, I came up with 20 other gentle, good-natured ribs for the future Hall-of-Famer. And yes, some of these are really bad, but I'm sure you can do worse in the comments.

Let's go.

  1. Who knew that Gisele had such a Great Depression fetish?
  2. That hat takes the guy in the "5" tee shirt off the hook for "Worst Dressed." 
  3. It's no coincidence that Tom Brady hasn't been able to dress himself since SpyGate.
  4. Question for Mr. Goodell: Does wearing a burlap cap qualify as head trauma?
  5. That cardigan is working harder than Julian Edelman playing defense.
  6. Just after this picture was taken, the mild-mannered Brady ducked into a phone booth, took off his glasses and transformed into Superhipster, the Man of Recyclable Aluminum.
  7. I'm sure Gisele blamed this outfit on Wes Welker.
  8. That hat should have been the 199th choice from Brady's closet.
  9. Even wearing Drew Henson as a hat would have been a better choice.
  10. Roger Goodell has already suspended that hat for Week 1.
  11. Brady plans to donate that hat to Amnesty International, who in turn will convert all the materials from that cap into a full pair of pants for Faith Hill.
  12. Bill Belichick's hoodie can't wait to steal that cap's lunch money.
  13. Where's Bernard Pollard when you need him?
  14. You'd think that a guy making $18 million a year could afford some lenses in those frames.
  15. Aaron Rodgers wore it better.
  16. Just looking at that hat could get Bridget Moynahan pregnant again. It's that potent.
  17. That hat is more food than Gisele eats in a week.
  18. Rob Gronkowski can't wait to turn that hat into a bong.
  19. That hat just made Joan Rivers burn down her house.
  20. "And God bless us, every one!"
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