USMNT: Top 10 Tweets of the Week (Vol. 7)

What do you do when you're young, gifted and famous? You open a Twitter account and tell the world your business, of course.

Musicians, actors or athletes—everyone needs to let off a little steam now and then. For those of us who cover U.S. soccer, we're just happy that so many of the players choose to do it so publicly.

This week we've got picking boogers, addiction issues and Steve Urkel doing the rumba.

Welcome to Vol. 7 of the Top 10 Tweets of the Week from the player pool of the U.S. national team.

No. 10: Clint Dempsey Gets Inspirational

I'm not usually one for motivational messages delivered via social media. That said, I could have gone a lot of ways with Clint Dempsey this week.

There was the picture he tweeted of his blacked-out car. There was the large-mouth bass tweets. There was just a lot of material. But I went with this simple message from the best U.S. player on the planet. (From @clint_dempsey):

"

If I would've listened to what people told me I could achieve, I never would've made it anywhere.

"

From a trailer park in Texas to the highest scoring midfield player in the Premier League. Not a bad trip so far for Mr. Dempsey.

No. 9: Brek Shea's Really Useless Talent

A lot of people take pride in things that other folks consider strange or not altogether special. My aunt Martha has a collection of rabbit figurines and she assumes people are fascinated when she talks about them. No one is.

The same holds true for Brek Shea's latest revelation. (From @brekshea):

"

Prob the best shuffle board player this side the Mississippi

"

Besides the fact that no one cares, we also know that there are any number of senior citizens who are lining up right now to put the young whippersnapper back in his place.

I'm betting on Gramps.

No. 8: Freddy Adu Is Backing Steve Urkel

Freddy Adu can dance with the ball, but turns out he likes a nice foxtrot as well. As much as I enjoy Nick Rimando's fascination with the Bachelor, if Freddy starts talking Dancing with the Stars more often it could blossom into my favorite player quirk.

Freddy's picking Steve Urkel to take the whole thing. (From @freddyadu):

"

Watching dancing with the stars and rooting for my boy @jaleelwhite leggo playa

"

I know Jaleel White hasn't been the lovable TV nerd in decades, but he'll always be Urkel to me.

No. 7: Maurice Edu Catches DaMarcus Beasley in the Jacuzzi

Are you ever wandering around the Internet when a picture stops you dead in your tracks?

You look at it and swear it's a friend of yours doing something ridiculous. Then you realize it's really a minor celebrity face down in a bottle of tequila. You laugh a bit and forward it to said friend.

That happened to Maurice Edu this week. The picture is seen here. The friend? DaMarcus Beasley. (From @mauriceedu):

"

@DaMarcusBeasley Hi DaMarcus, How are you? How are you spending your day today DaMarcus? DaMarcus, is this you?

"

I fully expect some revenge on Beasley's part for this one. The online world will lick its lips in anticipation.

No. 6: Juan Agudelo Admits He Has a Problem

In any addiction, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Without admission, you cannot heal.

Juan Agudelo took that powerful step this week. (From @juanagudelo17):

"

Trying to stop my hand from putting girls scout cookies in my mouth. #problems

"

There's been no official word on whether Agudelo is a Thin Mints man or has been caught by the delicious lure of Samoas.

Fortunately, I've obtained a picture (seen here) of his cookie dealer. I've alerted authorities to be on the look-out for the miscreant and expect her to be apprehended any day now.

Don't worry Juan, we're all here for you.

No. 5: Eric Lichaj Lets His Haters Be His Motivators

In much the same way that oppressed people down through history have often appropriated the symbols of their oppression, Eric Lichaj is doing the same.

Accusations of his swaglessness have run rampant for months now. But this latest attack pushed the player to action. (From @ericlichaj):

"

Whoever put this on the back of my car, hanging above my dash now #thanks

"

I might not be the leading expert on swag, but I'm a little concerned that this might not be the most swag-erific thing to display from your car mirror. Then again, I'm old and Brek Shea swears that Mohawk is cool, so what do I know?

No. 4: AJ DeLaGarza Outs Landon Donovan

Here's the problem with the younger generation. Every time they go out, they bring their camera phones with them.

So when an old guy like Landon Donovan wants to get his water wings on, there's always a young punk like AJ DeLaGarza out there ready to put it in pictures. (From @ajd_20):

"

He can't swim!!! @landondonovan

"

Here's the thing AJ: It's not that he can't swim, it's that he chooses not to.

For the same reason old guys sit down on the toilet to pee: It's just easier.

No. 3: Jozy Altidore's Phone Won't Stop Ringing

When things are good, they're very good.

Just ask Jozy Altidore who is on a scoring tear for AZ Alkmaar. Outside of Clint Dempsey, no other American is in the scoring form that Altidore is currently enjoying.

Turns out that when you're on top of the world, lots of other people want to join you. (From @jozyaltidore):

"

Love how everyone in Alkmaar seems to have gotten my home phone number. Lol. Plz stop calling. Thanks

"

Enjoy it while it lasts Jozy. Every time the phone rings, just think back to when you weren't scoring at all for Hull City and count your blessings again.

No. 2: Bill Hamid Gets a Case of Deja Vu

From time to time, we all suffer from hubris. We go into a situation, size up our opposition and underestimate them. After the resulting behind kicking, we pick ourselves up and reevaluate.

That happened to Bill Hamid this week. (From @billhamid28):

"

Some 11 year old kid just beat me in FIFA in front of people at the Microsoft store in Tyson's.. #blowtomypride

"

So Bill, let me see if I've got this right. What you're saying is a neighborhood small-fry dismantled you in front of a watching public?

How very Canadian of the boy.

No. 1: Stuart Holden Is Picking Boogers

There are some things we're meant not to know. The universe jealously guards its mysteries from our prying eyes. Scientists spend their entire lives barely able to scratch the surface of those truths.

And then there's the answer Stuart Holden is looking for. (From @stuholden):

"

What happens to Boogers after they've been picked and flicked?? I've wanted to know since I was 5

"

And with one Twitter update, the world found out what makes Holden's hair stand so perfectly all game long.

Come on Stuart, you make it too easy.