Comparing Each NBA Team to a Hip Hop Artist

The NBA is ingrained with hip hop culture to the core, so much so that a handful of guys playing in the NBA today have tried their hand at rapping—mostly to immense failure.

However, with the deep roots to hip hop that the NBA has, it's impossible to deny that players, coaches and even entire teams have either resembled or completely mirrored the career arc of some of the greatest rappers and hip hop artists of our days.

Growing up in Ohio, you probably wouldn't take me as a great fan of the fresh beats and the phat flow (yep, I'm that white), but as I've gone along in life, I've really started to appreciate the early days of hip hop and even some of the newer stuff.

So, going along with a piece that I wrote earlier in the week comparing NBA teams to the greatest rock and roll bands, I've decided to take it to the next logical step and compare them to some of the greatest hip hop acts of our day.

Atlanta Hawks: Beastie Boys

The Beastie Boys have always been a fun group to listen to, even if they do seem a bit out of place.

Some of the earliest white rappers, their choppy flow gave them a signature sound and endeared them to their audience. It has allowed them to stick around for years.

They had a heyday early on and have ridden that success and each album they've put out has been successful, although nothing matches their earlier albums.

The Atlanta Hawks seem to see themselves with a lot of players playing out of place, although they continue to be a successful team, even if they aren't as good as they were a few years back.

Boston Celtics: Jay-Z

No matter what you throw at either of these guys, they seem to always have success.

Jay-Z is one of the oldest successful rappers still around today, with double-digit platinum albums and single after single that has got the country bobbing their heads and trying to rap alongside him.

It seems like he's going to keep going and going and the only excuse for his continued success from the naysayers out there these days is that he's a part of the Illuminati. Of course he is.

The Celtics have that Jay-Z style where whatever they have thrown at them, they are going to end up having at least some success, usually enough to call the season a successful one.

Charlotte Bobcats: Soulja Boy

There isn't really anything nice I can say about Soulja Boy, so I won't spend too much time on the young "rapper."

Soulja Boy, for those of you who don't know, is the rapping version of mushmouth from Fat Albert, usually just blending all of his words together for the want of an actual song.

He got famous with his song "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" in which he repeats his name over and over again along with a kind of dance that he created. 

There really isn't much nice to say about the young fellow, just like the Bobcats who are struggling to reach double-digit wins down in Charlotte.

Chicago Bulls: Wu-Tang Clan

When it comes to the greatest minds in rap, one need look no further than those of the guys of the Wu-Tang Clan.

Derrick Rose, the obvious leader of the Bulls, has rallied his team together to become one of the biggest forces of nature in the Eastern Conference, just as The RZA turned the Wu-Tang Clan into the biggest East Coast rapping sensation of the early '90s.

Combine RZA with his cousins GZA and ODB and you've got yourself a damn fine group, but add in Method Man, Raekwon and Ghostface Killah (among others) and you have a group laden with different styles that flow together so well that nobody could bring them down.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Naughty by Nature

Naughty By Nature was a fun hip hop group who hung around for over a decade although they made a name for themselves in the early '90s. 

They took off with "O.P.P." and never looked back, pumping out catchy tunes and bumpin' hits, but there's one thing that's forgotten about NBN: Treach could flow. Treach, the main attraction of NBN, was crisp, clean and probably good enough to make it on his own.

Treach, in this case, is Kyrie Irving, who has the crisp moves of a point guard that hasn't been seen in a few years, as point guards nowadays have become physical beasts over anything else.

Dallas Mavericks: Eric B & Rakim

There are very few rappers, if any, who have been compared to famous jazz musicians in their days, but as the world soon found out with Rakim, who was compared to Thelonious Monk by The Washington Post, this man was more than just a rapper.

Rakim paired with Eric B. was more than just rap, it was poetry with soul, as they went beyond the fun wordplay of the early rap days and flowed with the style of a writer.

Obviously in this case, Dirk Nowitzki is Rakim, holding the team down with a style that is against the grain but so unequivocally entertaining and effective that it's impossible to deny his merits with the rest of the team holding each game down like DJ Eric B. 

Denver Nuggets: Busta Rhymes

Busta Rhymes was one of the best rappers of the transitional days in rap, coming up in the early '90s thanks in part to an appearance with A Tribe Called Quest's "Scenario."

Busta got big around 1995 and really took off over the next half-decade, as three albums displayed his intense lyricism and wordplay as each and every song was more intense than the last with Busta's signature gravelly voice and deep range.

Those intense songs go right alongside with the intense offensive game of the Denver Nuggets, who run and gun all game long and play to their strengths to take down their opponents.

Detroit Pistons: P Diddy

P Diddy gets a lot of love out there for being the entrepreneur that he is, but as a rapper he tends to get pushed aside because he seems to have ridden his success early on to become just a celebrity.

Aside from his many name changes and his failures to find real success as an artist later in his career, Diddy has done well for himself, although mostly outside of the rap world.

The Pistons seem to be the basketball version of Diddy, as they tend to be a team with the ability to win a few games here and there, but their reliance on the past to get by—what with Tayshaun Prince, Ben Wallace and the remnants of a failed rebuilding stage—has been their ultimate downfall.

Golden State Warriors: Snow

There isn't much the Golden State Warriors have to be happy about as the season comes to an end, but at least they have a fun style of basketball for their fans to watch.

Much like the Canadian Reggae (what?!) rapper Snow, who got famous with his blazingly fast song "Informer," the Warriors haven't had a ton of success, but they are a fun basketball team to watch, so there's something in there.

Houston Rockets: LL Cool J

I'm not sure if the ladies love the Houston Rockets as much as they do Cool James, but I'm sure there are plenty of ladies out there who would say they do.

LL Cool J has gone from being a rapper to an international icon as an actor, businessman, writer and fashionista, but he's going to be remembered as a rapper for that old-school flow that made him famous.

The Houston Rockets continue to play with a great all-around game, with nothing really sticking out as a glaring weakness, although they know what they do best is the old-school mentality of cutting down on mistakes and playing defense.

Indiana Pacers: Public Enemy

I've always looked at this Pacers team as a group of basketball players who is greater as a sum of all parts than they ever would be on their own.

Together they form a diverse, unique team with many skills to offer that they wouldn't necessarily all have if they were parted out to different teams, which is pretty much the same way I feel about Public Enemy.

Chuck D and Flavor Flav are the most recognizable of the group, but when they were seen individually, they went from rap icons to just some guys—one of which most people in this country wouldn't mind punching in the face.

Los Angeles Clippers: Redman

With his fun wordplay and his continually intense flow, along with his consideration as an honorary member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Redman made a name for himself through other people, which is the way that rap has worked for years.

Redman, however, worked his way up and became a beast of an individual rapper, even though he'll always be associated with Wu-Tang and Method Man, despite the fact that he exceeded Method Man in terms of individual ability and skill.

He'll always be remembered for his humorous wordplay and his ability to make so-called "gangsta rap" marketable to a mass audience (a.k.a: white people).

The Clippers have become known for being highly marketable in their style of play and it is fun to even the most casual basketball fans, which has unfairly given them some heat from the "hardcore" basketball fans.

Los Angeles Lakers: Nas

One of the most continually successful rappers of all time, Nas has continued to pump out hit after hit after hit ever since he picked up the microphone.

He's one of the greatest storytellers in rap and he is more than just a guy spitting lyrics into a microphone; he's become almost mythical in the rap world. 

When it comes to being consistently great year after year, the only things you can count on in this world are Nas and the Los Angeles Lakers.

Memphis Grizzlies: Big Daddy Kane

There aren't many teams out there who can play with swagger on the defensive end of the court, but that's exactly what the Memphis Grizzlies do.

They aren't good enough defensively to be one of those teams that slows games down to a crawl, but they are good enough to swing games in their favor when they get a few stops and a few blocks on consecutive possessions.

That old-school style of play mixed with the new-school swagger is exactly like Big Daddy Kane, a rapper who was ahead of his time with his cool late '80s flow mixed with his late '90s swagger.

He's a hip-hop classic with staying power.

Miami Heat: Kanye West

There isn't a rapper who is more polarizing and there hasn't been a basketball team with the same title in NBA history.

Everywhere Kanye West goes, there seems to be some kind of controversy following him, especially in recent years, as the public seems to have turned on him for his actions, which many consider to be base. However, even his biggest opponents can't deny that he is a giant in the hip hop world today and is nearly unrivaled.

The Miami Heat follow along pretty much the same story arc. With the controversy and greatness, the only difference is that they haven't won anything to prove their greatness...yet.

Milwaukee Bucks: Kid 'N Play

At this point in the year, there isn't a more fun duo of players to watch than Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis.

As Ellis has renewed his passing gene and Jennings has suddenly become a master of breaking down defenders, I could watch these two run a backcourt all day long. Even if they do seem a bit gimmicky, they are still winning games and chasing down a playoff spot.

Kid 'N Play had that same kind of feel about them; they were able to gain a huge following with some of their more mainstream hits, but they were more than just a fun gimmick. Also, this was probably the coolest scene from any movie in the first few years of the '90s.

Minnesota Timberwolves: DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

Sure, at times they seemed cheesy and more of a gimmick than anything else, but you know what? DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince were freaking entertaining. Now, when you have a group playing too cheesy, you have The GS Boys singing about Booty Dew (Check out how much fun everyone is having in that video. Also, this music video deserves an award for having the worst Barack Obama impersonator ever.) and not Will Smith singing about how parents don't understand.

Kevin Love, the more skilled of the two has to be DJ Jazzy Jeff, while Ricky Rubio is the flashy guy who brings in the casual fans as The Fresh Prince.

New Jersey Nets: Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five

Sure, the group as a whole was great, but years later can anyone really tell you any of the Furious Five? Grandmaster Flash was the draw of that group and continued to do well even after the Furious Five.

Deron Williams is playing with a bunch of other basketball players, and they aren't a terrible team, but they're not great either. Five years from now, all anyone is going to remember is that Deron Williams was a part of a Nets team with some mediocre players.

New Orleans Hornets: Vanilla Ice

While he may have won some fans in his day with "Ice Ice Baby," there never was anything worthwhile to every come out of the microphone of Vanilla Ice.

The New Orleans Hornets are going along and playing basketball, but there's not much to be gained from actually watching them play.

There's just not much good from either of these parties, although at the end of the day, at least there's something happening.

New York Knicks: Snoop Dogg

For all the controversy that follows both Snoop Dogg and the New York Knicks, you've got to admit both seem to handle it pretty well.

Snoop has had his fair share of negative news coverage and he always seems to shrug it off with that smooth-talking style that he's always had, which is a big reason he became such a beloved rapper.

The same goes for the New York Knicks. Even while their team was falling apart and the media criticized everything going on in Madison Square Garden, they never fell apart. They took the criticism in stride even as their coach got fired and here they are, looking like a very dangerous low-seeded playoff team. 

Oklahoma City Thunder: N.W.A.

A more dynamic group of rappers from the early '90s there wasn't, and what came to scaring white people and throwing down meaningful and hardcore lyrics, N.W.A. did their best to include everything and everyone.

You know when a group contains Dr. Dre, Ice Cube (before he started acting) and Eazy-E along with forgotten rap heroes DJ Yella, MC Ren and Arabian Prince, something special is going on.

With three rap superstars in Dre and Ice (KD and Westbrook) and another borderline superstar in Eazy-E (Jimmy Harden) to go along with everyone else, you have to admit that this group had some immense depth.

Orlando Magic: G-Unit

G-Unit was the brainchild of 50 Cent, but let's be honest, it was pretty much 50 Cent and two other dudes who were carried by good ol' Fiddy.

G-Unit ruled the middle part of the 2000s, as kids who wanted to like hardcore rap but weren't serious enough to really get into it ate it up with a spoon. However, as the years went along, everyone started to turn against Fiddy and G-Unit just kind of faded away.

50 Cent in this situation is obviously Dwight Howard, who has seen his popularity dip so far that he's become more hated by hardcore basketball fans than LeBron James.

Philadelphia 76ers: Ice-T

Ice-T started out as one of the most hardcore rappers in the business, drawing controversy with his song "Cop Killer" and crossing over to heavy metal and gangster punk as he went on with his musical career.

Like Ice-T, Philly started out this season as one of the hardest teams in the NBA, beating teams into submission with their defense and then running up the score on offense, leading to blowout after blowout.

However, at this point, their team has become Ice-T on Law and Order, a hilarious juxtaposition between what they once were and what they currently are. Sure, Ice-T is still the most hardcore member of that show, but that's like saying you drank seven 12-year-olds under the table last weekend.

Phoenix Suns: Dr. Dre

Okay, so maybe this isn't a comparison to the entire Phoenix Suns, but more likely just to Steve Nash.

Dre, a great rapper in his day, has more or less hung up the microphone, yet he continues to be a huge player in the hip hop world, continually making superstars out of young rappers.

Like Dre, everything Steve Nash touches turns to gold. No other player could take Marcin Gortat and Grant Hill as his second and third man and have them battling for a playoff spot.

Portland Trail Blazers: Cypress Hill

Cypress Hill was a very interesting group, punctuated by the sometimes annoying yet memorable and thoroughly enjoyable nasal vocals of B-Real. 

They put together three great albums and peaked with "Insane in the Membrane," but what really impressed when it came to Cypress Hill was the funky feeling that came along with each and every song.

Although Portland has fallen apart a bit as they tore their team apart at the trade deadline, they still have that signature style of play thanks to LaMarcus Aldridge and the guys he's got on the wings to work an interesting inside-outside game.

Sacramento Kings: Biz Markie

At the end of the day, there are rappers who are much better than Biz Markie, but few are more endearing and as real as Biz.

He gets up on stage and does what he knows he can do and just delivers a good performance. Sure, he's become more of a jester in the court of hip hop these days, but he is one hell of a jester.

Just like Biz, the Sacramento Kings aren't necessarily the greatest bunch of basketball players in the league, but for some reason watching a Kings game these days is wildly entertaining, and you can't help but find yourself rooting for them.

And God help me if I can't stop thinking that if DeMarcus Cousins and Marcus Thornton had a baby that it would come out looking exactly like Biz.

San Antonio Spurs: Common

Few rappers stick around to make an impact on the rap world as long as Common has as few teams can compete for a title 13 years apart with the same central superstar.

Common took off way back in 1992 and released an album to critical acclaim as recently as 2011. Hell, he's one of the only hip hop artists who could get away with singing alongside the Jonas Brothers for a track and not get called out on it.

However, what really makes the comparison between the two for me is the fact that there are few rappers as smart, serious and downright concerned about the well-being of the world as Common. Just as the Spurs take on each game with a tactical approach, Common takes on each song from the standpoint that makes it intriguing.

Toronto Raptors: Ying Yang Twins

Sure, they were an annoying couple of fellows who got famous for making gut-wrenching sounds, but you can't deny that even a little bit of Ying Yang Twins has been enjoyable from time to time.

The Toronto Raptors don't exactly have a nice flow of things these days, falling apart and waiting for the lottery to start, but for some reason they're still a fun team to watch.

Utah Jazz: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony had one of the illest flows of any group from the '90s. They had such a unique flow even I'm allowed to use the word "illest" when talking about them.

They took off with whatever beat they had going, slowing down and speeding up on a whim and never really repeating much. They were an entirely original group who I think are underappreciated these days.

Much like the Bone Thugs, Utah has become a team who takes what they're given and goes with the flow, playing at a faster pace if necessary and then slowing down if they need to.

Washington Wizards: Nelly

Call it a guilty pleasure, call it an affinity for bad rap from the early 2000s, but sometimes there's nothing better than a little "hot ish" from Nelly.

Much like Nelly's goofy lyrics and gimmicky look (that Band-aid) the Washington Wizards aren't much of a basketball team, but something makes me want to watch them, while something else makes me enjoy them.