Magic vs Knicks: Drama Masks Matchup of 2 Non-Contenders

Someone should make a movie about the New York Knicks' 2011-2012 season. It has been one filled with drama, momentum shifts, scandal and other things that make for a good story.

On the court, it makes for a team whose bark is much more menacing than its bite.

While the Knicks' opponent on Thursday night has their own coach and star drama building, it's nothing compared to New York's storylines.

In reality, this is 27-27 team with this band of characters:

Jeremy Lin as the trendy, average and injured point guard

Lin's game fell off tremendously as teams began to pressure him with solid defensive point guards. In his last 15 games, Lin averaged 15 points, five assists and four turnovers.

Now, he's out with a torn meniscus. Talk about a roller coaster ride.

Amar'e Stoudemire as the overpaid PF, robbed of his explosive athleticism by injury.

Stoudemire still knows how to play the game, but the explosive star he used to be is history. Now he's on the shelf with a back injury that could haunt him for the rest of his career.

That's encouraging. 

Carmelo Anthony as the offensively dynamic and defensively anemic SF

Melo will not defend under any circumstances and admittedly tweaks his effort—depending on the coach.

Sometimes stars don't like the coach—it is what it is. But Melo, you can't admit that you weren't playing as hard for the other guy.

That'll get you in trouble every time.

J.R. Smith as the mid-season free-agent pickup, loose-cannon shooter and Tweeter

The free-agent shooting guard is one heck of a streak shooter, but struggles with the drawstring on his uniform shorts and makes bad decisions when it comes to the Twitter ultimatum: to submit or not to submit.

J.R., you can't tweet pics of a naked girl's butt, even if you're sure she won't really mind.

Mike D'Antoni as the clueless ring leader

This band of characters was once led by a head coach more sensitive than baby skin, whose defensive focus lacked as much as his ability to deal with the New York media.

D'Antoni was defenseless in regard to his basketball strategy, as well as his chances of dealing with the Big Apple pressure.

He has already exited stage left.

Mike Woodson as Sidney Poitier

Anybody ever seen To Sir, With Love?

If not, it's a classic movie, and in it, Poitier is a teacher charged with taking over a class of hooligans. Ultimately, he rights the ship, and they sing him a real corny song at the end.

Well, in the end of this movie, there won't be a song, just a first-round playoff exit.

Straight to DVD?

The Magic don't have the star power (even though their coach looks like Ron Jeremy) or big city attention. They have put on their own smaller budget production anyway.

Orlando's leading men:

Otis Smith as the stoic and unimpressed GM

Smith seemed to be miffed by the Dwight Howard drama all year. With his serious and business-like demeanor, he seemed ready to execute any command from ownership, be it a trade or execution.

Just know, Otis has his phone on.

Stan Van Gundy as the little round coach, fed up with garbage

Who is in charge?

Stan wants to know, and he seems intent on making the Magic brass make that clear. He claims Dwight Howard wants him fired.

I believe he wants to be fired, or to restore the "proper" coach-to-player dynamic.

I'm betting on the former.

Dwight Howard as the indecisive star, overly concerned with public perception

He really wanted to leave Orlando, but he didn't want to get LeBron'd.

Ever try to straddle the fence between pleasing yourself and other people?

Exhibit A:

Behold the fool Dwight Howard has made of himself over the past four months. This is what happens when you try that balancing act.

Most of the people whose perception you were concerned with will boo you if you play poorly.

Pick one, big man.