Nick Diaz and 25 of His Best Quotes

Nick Diaz is one of MMA’s best trash-talkers and whilst Chael Sonnen is considered par excellence with regards to delivering his verbal attacks for shock and entertainment value, Diaz just tells it like is—one expletive after another.

There are no shades of grey where the Cesar Gracie fighter is concerned—it’s either black or white, or hospital call or Nashville brawl.

Warning: The following slides contain some highly explicit quotes and content that some readers may find offensive.

That said, let's get the Diaz show on the road as he gets ready to fight Carlos Condit for the interim welterweight title Saturday at UFC 143.

If people can’t handle watching me or they can’t handle the intensity of my life or they can’t handle me cussing saying f*** this and f***, then you know, I think people really need to become a little more mature, kinda grow up a little bit…

You tell ‘em homes! With Diaz, what you see is what you get and if you don’t like it, then hit the road, Jack, Jill or whoever you are.

Though, on a serious note, Diaz should understand that excessive use of profanity sometimes suggests limited vocabulary with an added ingredient of immaturity to boot.

Nick! You get all my love, but c’mon son, lay off the....

I feel that you instigate fights quite a bit...I mean that’s your job but, where I come from, people like that get slapped.”

In an interview with “The MMA Hour” podcast host Ariel Helwani, Diaz pulled no punches with regards to his intentions toward the latter.

So, does Helwani instigate fights and if affirmative, is he deserved of a slap or two?

That said, if that interview had been conducted in Stockton, Calif., you can bet your bottom-dollar Helwani would’ve been on the receiving end of a backhander and then some.

What I do is, I fight. So you know, I get on the ball and I do what I gotta do. And it's funny, to come home, to f****** crash out, I don't drink a bunch of—I don't drink a shot of whatever and pop a bunch of Vicodin like everybody else.

Fighting is all in a day's work for the Stockton native and when he hits his crib, all he wants to do is chill—not with a Bud, not with a shot of Hennessy and not with any of those pain-killing tablets either.

If I have a girlfriend, I don’t bring her to flaunt her. She doesn’t get to reap the benefits of me being famous.

Truer words were never spoken—Diaz takes the pain alone so he should be allowed to bask in the glory alone if he wants to. However, if the female has a vocation then it’s cool; if not, head to the exit.

If you're not on my team, then F*** YOU, cause if you're not with us, then your against us.

The Cesar Gracie team is one big happy family; you mess with one, and you mess with them all.

If you think I'm lying, then ask Jason "Nashville Brawl" Miller...I mean "Mayhem" Miller.

When you don't want to go, when you feel like s*** and you f****** don't want to train anymore—if you go ahead and get loaded, then you might not give a s*** what you're about to go do, you just go do it. So you know, for all you fighters out there, it might be what you need, instead of f****** sticking that needle in your ass.

Because I'm telling you right now, these people that f****** do steroids, you know what I mean? I'm like, I wish everything was legal, because that would give them the chance to go out there and make their mark and then burn the f*** out. And that's when I come in with my consistency, because I'm coming.

Another tell it like it is moment from the pride of Stockton.

Diaz would like steroids legalized as much as marijuana, but for completely different reasons—an implosion of said PED takers in view of wrecking shop on what's left of them.

For the record, right now, I think someone needed to come out and say it: I think smoking pot is good for mixed martial artists. It's a new day and age, this is, uh, the year...f*** year is it? I don't know, because I've been training and smoking pot like I should, instead of paying attention to other bulls***, which I don't do.

Really?

If it's that good and Diaz thinks it'll be beneficial to professional practitioners of MMA, then why in the blue hell can't he remember what year it is?

That stuff is playing tricks on his mind.

After my last fight I bought one, I have no clue how to work it nor have any intention of chatting on here with you whores.

Diaz doesn’t mix with computers or whores (Twitter, Facebook, media, etc).

He just lost again right? See what I mean? You are promoting Rich Franklin and this motherf*****, here he is, letting it ride and he's just trying to uphold his image. The guy's a f****** teacher. He's a school teacher—that's what he is. If I was going to fight him I'd be pretty damn confident. I'm going to fight a teacher not a fighter. There are plenty of teachers I wanted to beat up.

I can only surmise that as a kid at school, Diaz was on the receiving end of some momentous beatings; hence his loathing for teachers and in particular one Rich Franklin.

It's a shame these two never got it on; for Diaz, revenge would've have been a dish best served cold—gogoplata style.

Wait, what? Franklin's has nothing to do with his school days, or maybe it's just sour grapes on Diaz's part.

Actually, on the contrary, my fight career has gotten in the way of my marijuana smoking.

Diaz seriously needs to get his priorities in order.

Though something tells me, he’s just waiting for the day when he can hang ‘em up, so as to spend some serious quality time with his beloved Mary Jane.

So my bottom line is I wanted to get a bunch of this stuff off my chest is...is that...you know...I'm not no chump. I'm not going to just talk s*** or whatever. I can't remember where I was really going with that.

Too much bush weed is bad for your health. In Diaz's case he must've smoked the duchy to the roach; hence the reason for his broken sentences as well as the fact that he can't remember what the hell he was supposed to be talking about to begin with.

If you're getting paid more than me, I'm definitely more excited about this ass whoopin I'm gonna put down on you.

Well someone should've told Diaz that if he gets past Carlos Condit at UFC 143, his next opponent, UFC welterweight titlist Georges St-Pierre, will no doubt be lining his coffers with an exorbitant amount of Franklin Faces, the kind of money that Diaz would be lucky to get half of.

Nevertheless, with that mindset, St-Pierre could be in for a whole lot of pain come fight night.

The bottom line is Georges is being a little b****. He didn't step up and say anything when the UFC pulled me out of this fight. I understand sometimes you have to do what you're told, but why wouldn't you tell the media you still want to fight me? If I was Georges, I would want to fight the best. I would have asked for the Anderson Silva fight. I would have asked to fight the Strikeforce champ. But he sits there like a robot and doesn't say anything at all, just like he's not going to say anything about me calling him a b**** now. If I saw B.J. Penn walking down the street and called him a b****, we would be fighting right there on the spot.

The above tirade was due to Nick Diaz being bounced from the main event of his proposed title clash with Georges St-Pierre at UFC 137.

The reason Diaz was given his marching orders was because he no-showed at several press junkets to promote the headline act.

It's safe to say he wasn't taking any prisoners and in no uncertain terms, he let St-Pierre know what he thought of him.

Harsh words, however; it's the truth and nothing but the truth.

My car pulled up in front of the hotel and he and his girlfriend and his mom and dad were there. Right away, he put his mug on me. He was staring me down and trying to give the impression that he's hard core. I flipped him off, but he's standing over there like he's flashing. I go, 'What the f*** are you doing? I'm not the one doing s***.' I couldn't understand why this guy is putting his mug on me, but he had to act like he was some kind of a f****** tough guy in front of his girlfriend and his dad. This is war, this is life, and I take this very seriously. I'm not the one bringing my family into the ring and showing them off. I'm not the one who (showed up to the pre-fight news conference) in a f****** suit trying to act like I'm some kind of tough guy a------ rich kid. This is war to me and we have a serious situation on our hands now."

When all is said and done, Nick Diaz is really a down-to-earth kind of guy—he just wants to go about his business and do his own thing.

However, once you bring on that street mentality, then the true Stocktonian comes out and from thereon in, it's all gangster-esque stuff—Boyz n the Hood and whatnot.

And don't bring that 90210 drama either; it doesn't wash with the 209, son, because it ain't factual—they're just a bunch of actors playing a role.

Diaz plays it for real, or it seems that way.

Riggs: "You should have just closed the door Nick."
Nick: "How the f*** am I gonna close the door? I ain't no b****."

He started that s*** dude. I was like, "Come over here then if you want some, b****. You can't see me you f****** p****". So he started walking toward me and threw his hands up so he took an ass whooping. I told him he was gonna get smacked if he came over. He kept saying "Get your brother! Get your brother!" My brother was standing right there we could have jumped him but we're not like that. I ain't no b**** and I ain't no punk and I don't want to be a poor sport but I feel like I won that fight. I'm definitely better than that guy.

The hospital brawl between Joe Riggs and Nick Diaz was as a result of some serious verbal sparring before, during and after their clash at UFC 57.

Though Riggs won the bout, things finally came to a head when both combatants went to hospital for medical check-ups and the rest as they say is history.

Just for the record: Diaz ain't anybody's b****—believe that.

See if people are gonna hate just cause I say the word motherf****, then f*** them, I don't have time to worry about marketing and s***. in my last fight my hair looked like s*** cause all I did was train...I have other letters but i'm not that good of a reader.

I know I alluded to Diaz's supposed lack of vocabulary and immaturity in an earlier slide; however, you're getting it straight from the horse's mouth—he ain't that good a reader.

So cut Nick some slack and don't hate on him for his overuse of expletives; that's just the way he is.

Making weed illegal is a little bit paranoid, don't you think? It's like saying God made a mistake, you know what I mean? It's like, you've got the whole world and Earth and all its holy creations, right? And God is like, 'Hmm, look it, my whole world in all its holy ways,' and he's like, 'Oh-my-me-oh-s***, I left weed in here. Yeah right, I left weed in here. Oh, shouldn't have smoked that joint on the third day.

This is Diaz at his abominable and blasphemous worst. How dare he take our heavenly father's name in vain, or more to the point how dare he insinuate that the creator of heaven and earth puffs a joint every now and again?

That said, Diaz could have a point here—those clouds up above do seem a tad bit suspicious.

Because you get high all the time, you can’t find people that train all the time. But if you get high and train, you will get high and train all the time together and it will be f****** massive-takeover-smoke-weed-and-kill-people shit.

Nick Diaz doesn’t want any chain gang—he wants a bunch of ganja smokers whom he can train with. And once they’ve kissed the sky, going postal would be the next course of action.

I can see where Diaz is going with this.

In theory it’s a great idea; however, once the haze has cleared he’ll being doing some serious time, though that depends on which state he’s committed the weed-induced crime.

Dude everybody. C'mon man. Even Hermes Franca. One day he comes in with that goofy haircut. You got Jens Pulver, f****** Mayhem Miller. Some b**** he was talking to tried to offer me this piece of hydrogenated chocolate. What the f*** are these guys into? Give me some real chocolate. Real fighters eat real chocolate.

This interview, which was conducted by Jesse Holland of MMAmania, proves one thing: there ain't nothing fancy about the 209, son—no Jason "Mayhem" Miller-styled hair and no hydrogenated chocolate either.

He wants a real fighter's chocolate; I presume something along the lines of Snickers—"Get some nuts."

I don't know about you guys, but I like my rock stars choking on their own vomit and uh, you know, what's it matter anyways?

May their souls rest in peace, but if Jimi Hendrix and company were alive today, they'd gladly induct Diaz in to the Rockers' Hall of Fame of Those Who Died Young.

Vegas is a f****** theme, dude; that s*** doesn’t fool me.”

Every fighter I know wants to move there and wants to live there. You gotta be kidding me. These f****** assholes. I mean—I love it, because they’re that dumb. I’m like, 'I can’t wait to fight ‘em, they’re so stupid.'

They thrive off these big f****** fake-titty mutant chicks that are f****** disgusting whores, every last one of them. They’re all trying to do something to get somewhere, or if they’re out there they’re trying to f****** do it up with their old man somewhere else.

To Nick Diaz, Sin City ain’t what it used to be.

Back in the day when the Hobo mafia and Meyer Lansky’s New York outfit ran Vegas is what the 209 son is all about.

Now all he sees is a group of MMA fighters paying for cheap thrills and, to boot, a grope of an overly inflated silicone implanted bosom.

Diaz should fret not. There are still a few empty holes in the Nevada desert, if the urge ever arises.

He kinda just put his head down and looped some f****** punch out there that smacked me...I was like what the f***?!?!?!?

There he is ....that little f*****. That little f***** hit me with a Hadukan or something.

I beat his ass. But you know, that little f*****. Man that f***** is tough. I mean I hit him, but then he comes out with this karate s*** and little dude can bang. I mean he f***** up my eye and s***...That's why I went to the ground and gogo'd him. You don't see that s*** in MMA. Who in MMA gogo's anyone cept me.

No doubt, Diaz has a certain amount of respect for Takanori Gomi, following his Round 2 submission of the latter via gogoplata.

The same submission that was executed to completion against Gomi was also the second successfully applied gogoplata in the history of the now defunct Pride FC.

Now that's something to talk about.

I’m trying to fight Sakurai, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight Anderson Silva, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Georges motherf****** St-Pierre. I’m trying to fight…I didn’t mean to call Georges a motherf*****, but I ain’t got no problem getting there and fighting the best people in the world. Georges is a nice guy. I’m trying to fight Jon Fitch, I’m trying to fight Silva, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Takanori Gomi, Sakurai, I’m trying to f*** everybody up. F*** this s***. This is f****** gangster f****** warfare. I don’t give a f***. You know what I mean?”

This is MMA gangsterism at its best—the former Strikeforce welterweight champion could definitely give Tony Montana (Al Pacino’s character in the movie Scarface) a run for his money in the profanity stakes.

Diaz is 1-1 against Noons, submitted Gomi via gogoplata (reversed to a no contest due Diaz testing positive for marijuana) and defeated Hayato Sakurai by way of armbar submission.

Sadly for Jon Fitch, he doesn't make the cut—his 12 second blitzkrieg at the hands of Johny Hendricks put paid to that.

That leaves three down and two to go, well, mathematically that is—if he can get past Carlos Condit at UFC 143, St-Pierre awaits. If he takes care of that business, a fight with “The Spider” is not out of the question.

The ball's in your court, Diaz.

Fighting in Stockton is going to be great for me. Stockton is a great fight town because if you drive long enough on some of these roads, you'll probably see a pretty good street fight.

If you think you're hard enough and with brass balls to boot, then head to a town called Stockton. And with Diaz's reassurance, you won't leave disappointed; well, maybe with a bump or two, but it could be worse.

However, if you're really lucky, a throwdown with Stockton's finest might just be on the cards.

One of the most famous quotes in all MMA was as a result of Diaz losing to KJ Noons in 2007 under the EliteXC banner.

Following his win, Noons was asked whether he’d give Diaz a rematch, to which his hometown crowd of Hawaiians booed.

This prompted Diaz to utter the now-immortal words: “Don’t be scared homie!”

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