WWE Raw: Laurinaitis Goes to Sleep, Y2J Speaks, the Miz Is No. 1 and More

WWE Raw opened with WWE Champion CM Punk heading to the ring.

He hyped the title match at the Royal Rumble then proceeded to lay into John Laurinaitis. He described him as a failure as a wrestler, an executive and a human being.

He called out Laurinaitis but got John Cena instead. Cena didn’t want to hear Punk ramble and was out there for business.

He wanted Laurinaitis to give Zack Ryder a rematch and wanted to face Kane right then and there. He also wanted him to resign.

That finally brought out John Laurinaitis. He stood by what he said last week and won’t be intimidated by either of them. He made Ryder vs. Kane in a falls count anywhere match and declared that if Cena got involved, then Ryder would never get his rematch.

He then booked Cena and Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger.

Ziggler declared that Punk won’t need to worry about Laurinaitis screwing him because he was going to outright win.

Swagger then said that Cena was dead meat.

It’s not often that I enjoy an opening segment on Raw, but I liked the way this played out.

Everyone was strong on the mic, except for Swagger, and did their job selling their respective storylines.

I just wish that WWE gives Swagger some more mic lessons, or at least give him more mic time to improve.

Dead meat? People still stay that?!

CM Punk and John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger

Dolph Ziggler picked up the win on CM Punk with the rollup of doom after a distraction from John Laurinaitis.

Post-match Punk grabbed a mic and said that its okay if Laurinaitis planned on screwing him because he planned on beating the hell out of him.

Punk wanted Laurinaitis in the ring in the main event, and after some thought, the interim Raw general manager made CM Punk vs. John Laurinaitis.

I thought this was a good match despite being the standard WWE tag-team match. All four superstars put on a good show in this back-and-forth matchup.

I liked seeing John Cena as the face in peril, as that’s quite the rare sight to see.

I hope WWE is actually going somewhere with Swagger’s title reign instead of him just keeping it warm for Zack Ryder.

I was surprised to see the Punk/Laurinaitis match booked so early but I wasn’t surprised with the outcome later on.

Chris Jericho then made his way out to host the return of the Highlight Reel.

He teased the crowd with the microphone before running out again. This time, though, he actually came back.

He brought out the T-shirt cannon but didn’t shoot out any shirts as he grabbed one of the cameras.

He then grabbed the mic once again but showed a Chris Jericho highlight video.

When it ended, he finally spoke! Jericho’s first words back were “The Royal Rumble will be the end of the world as you know it.”

He posed with his jacket to end the segment.

Y2J teased the fans even more here and I thought it was going to result in him not saying anything once again.

Even when he did speak, he spoke cryptically.

What did he mean by the world was going to end at the PPV?

Does he plan on winning the Royal Rumble match? Were those “It Begins” videos actually pointing to something bigger?

I guess we’ll just have to wait until Sunday.

A video hyping the Royal Rumble match is then shown. It’s the same video they show every year about the numbers of the event.

In other words, nothing special to note.

Backstage, Mick Foley approached Zack Ryder. He gave Ryder some words of encouragement and said that he could win.

Eve is worried but Ryder said not to be. John Cena then appeared out of nowhere and wanted to interfere, but Ryder wanted his rematch and dismissed him.

It looks like this feud with Kane is costing Cena a few friends as well.

Zack Ryder vs. Kane: Falls Count Anywhere Match

This ended when Kane chokeslamed Zack Ryder through the stage.

He then started to stalk Eve until Cena showed up in time to make Kane run away.

This was a squash match. Ryder got in a few bits and pieces of offense, but Kane dominated the whole thing.

I liked how this showed the dominance and sadistic nature of Kane, but it’s a bit bothersome that it was at the expense of Zack Ryder.

I knew that the second I saw Ryder with Eve that the Long Island Iced Z would end up being taken out by someone.

What happened? As we find out later in the show, Ryder has a broken back.

Eve is like a career killer. Everyone she’s with ends up getting pushed down. Eve, just please go away.

Back from a commercial back and the EMTs are loading Ryder up onto the board and gurney.

As he’s put into the ambulance, Eve blamed Cena for everything.

Josh Matthews then appeared to say that Cena must be feeling awful. He doesn’t say a word; he just looked angrily into camera.

Sorry Eve, it’s not Cena’s fault; it’s yours. Being with you is like a punishment.

What did Ryder do to deserve this?

As for Cena’s angry stare, I laughed uncontrollably.

Cena’s a horrid actor. He didn’t really look angry; he looked more like he had to take the biggest dump of his life.

I assume he was supposed to be angry, though, so it seems like Kane is getting to him.

Is a heel turn coming? We can dream, but no, it’s not happening.

He’ll beat Kane, then go onto the Rock like none of this ever happened.

Jinder Mahal vs. Sheamus

Sheamus picked up the win with the Brogue Kick. This was an okay match that had a bit of back-and-forth action.

Sheamus has really embraced being a face and it’s working for him big time. If he doesn’t have a world title sometime this year, then there is something wrong with WWE creative.

As for Jinder Mahal, he has once again proven to be a future member of the Future Endeavored Class of 2012.

Backstage, the Miz was putting himself over like he usually does. He’s No. 1 at everything and that brought in R-Truth as a part of market research.

Truth confirmed that Miz is No. 1 at quite a few things in WWE. He’s the No. 1 most annoying, whining, nincompoop superstar on the roster.

He was also a W.E.I.O.: a “what else is on.”

They argue until Laurinaitis and Otunga walk up. He’s sick of them arguing and said that the loser of their match will be the No. 1 entrant in the Royal Rumble match.

R-Truth quacked to end the segment.

This was quite entertaining and Laurinaitis’ stipulation really adds to this dragging feud.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

To no one’s surprise, Brodus Clay won another squash match.

I got a feeling that if WWE doesn’t start giving him some real competition, then the fans may end up turning on him.

You can participate in so many squash matches before it starts getting repetitive and boring.

Heath Slater, welcome to the future class of future endeavored stars.

Has anyone else noticed that the Funkasaurus’ opponents have been superstars that are barely used or just never win?

I think WWE is feeding the Funkasaurus the Future Endeavored Class of 2012.

The Miz vs. R-Truth: Loser is No. 1 Entrant in the Royal Rumble Match

R-Truth picked up the victory in what I thought was a good match. It featured some nice back-and-forth action and continued their rivalry to the next step.

I think that having Miz come out as No. 1 could really benefit him. The once “Must see champion in WWE history” has lost a lot of steam after losing the WWE Championship.

He also doesn’t seem as hated by the WWE Universe as he once was.

Having Miz come out first at the Rumble and last until the final two could really bring some of that heat back.

Making it seem like he could win the match could rile up the crowd to the point where they start freaking out if he’s on the verge of winning.

Hopefully WWE goes in a similar direction and we don’t see Miz eliminated the second R-Truth enters the ring.

Backstage, David Otunga gives a fax to Laurinaitis. He read it and looked puzzled as he stood there in his Baron Von Raschke-type robe.

Oh, I wonder what it could be.

The Punk/Laurinaitis match doesn’t happen as expected as the fans are informed that the fax said that the board of directors was concerned over Laurinaitis’ recent decisions and his overall job performance.

His position as general manager will be under review next week, and the review will be conducted by chief operating officer Triple H.

Laurinaitis quickly apologized to everyone for his wrong doings and said the match couldn’t happen.

He had a substitute, though, and Carlton Banks attacked Punk. Otunga's attack didn’t last long as Punk locked in the Anaconda Vise and later kicked him in the head.

Laurinaitis wanted to shake Punk’s hand, and Punk obliged, but then hits the GTS.

As Punk celebrated, Dolph Ziggler slide in to hit the Zig Zag.

While this wasn’t as good as last week’s closing segment, it was still awesome to watch.

While most of Laurinaitis’ talking came from Otunga, when Laurinaitis did speak, he did a great job. He’s really improving on the mic and a character as a whole.

The feud was really taken to the next level when Punk finally got some retribution on Laurinaitis.

The WWE Championship match at the Royal Rumble should be a must-see and next week’s Raw will also be something that is a can’t-miss.

The WWE Raw before a PPV usually falls flat and is a disappointment.

This go-home episode, though, was very enjoyable to watch.

All of the storylines were advanced nicely, and the Rumble and next week’s Raw are looking great because of it.

Overall, this was a good episode of Monday Night Raw and I hope that the WWE can keep it up!