Which Super Bowl Matchups and Storylines Would Annoy Us the Most?

With four teams still alive in the NFL playoffs, there are only four potential Super Bowl matchups we, as fans and media, can hope to see. Let's be honest with each other for a second, unless you are a fan of one of the specific teams—or a diehard for one of the rivals of a team that's still in the playoffs—you probably don't care who makes the Super Bowl as long as it's the most entertaining matchup possible. 

The media, by and large, feels differently about that. Sure, the media wants a good game. Nobody wants to write a postgame recap of a terrible game to decide the champion of one of the best NFL seasons in recent memory.

As writers and commentators, we want something historic to happen in the game. We want magic.

For the media, however, it can't be just about the game. There are two weeks between the conference title games and the Super Bowl, which is 14 full days to bombard the general public with every possible Super Bowl storyline we can find. Most NFL fans may not have a specific rooting interest in who wins the Super Bowl, but they sure as heck pay attention to what gets covered the fortnight leading up to the big game.

With that, let's have a look at each of the potential Super Bowl matchups, specifically in terms of which game has the least annoying storylines. Keep in mind, we're looking at the lowest hanging fruit, so if you think one of these storylines is fresh and untapped now, imagine it on Super Bowl Sunday when Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth sink their teeth into the same angles everyone else has dissected for two weeks.

Super Bowl storylines are like that new Pizza Hut commercial with the guy playing acoustic guitar–catchy and fun the first few times you heard the jingle. Now, no matter how good it was, you want to ram your forehead through a Pizza Hut window every time you hear it. 

Any pizza…any toppings...any crust…

Eh, It's still not as annoying as the Geico caveman or the E*Trade talking baby, but that's what we're dealing with for Super Bowl storylines: the lesser of football evils.

Let's get to the list.

San Francisco 49ers vs. New England Patriots

Starting with the two home teams in the conference finals Sunday and the most likely Super Bowl scenario, there are tons of juicy storylines in this potential matchup. It's a shame that most of them are unfair to one particular player.

First, no matter which team the 49ers could face, prepare to get bombarded with comparisons between Alex Smith, Steve Young and Joe Montana.

It is so easy to compare the 49ers quarterbacks who took the franchise to Super Bowls, but it's obviously not fair to Smith to spend two weeks comparing him to two Hall of Famers, knowing full well there's no favorable conclusion to come to for the current Niners signal-caller.

If the 49ers play the Patriots, you can add in another Hall of Fame quarterback to the pile, simply for the sake of unfair comparison.

Tom Brady is a bona fide legend in New England and it's going to be so easy for the national media to compare the first overall pick who has been, until this year, a world-renowned underachiever (read: bust) with the sixth-round pick whom everyone passed on and turned into a superstar.

Yes, it's neat that Brady could be facing the team he grew up rooting for, but it will be interesting to see if people bring that up without throwing in the caveat about being passed over time and time again by the 49ers franchise in the draft. Will some media play the "Tom Brady has a chip on his shoulder" card in the Super Bowl? Let's hope not.

The other potential storylines aren't as annoying, really. A great offense against a fantastic defense—especially if the Patriots beat another good defense in Baltimore–could provide an interesting back-and-forth leading up to the game. There's also a Michigan quarterback on the field against a Michigan quarterback on the opposing sideline; a storyline that will come up, but only matters to people who went to Michigan.

If this is the likeliest scenario, it's probably the least annoying–unless your name is Alex Smith.

San Francisco 49ers vs. Baltimore Ravens

The NFL will never admit this, but the league is probably not rooting for the Ravens to win this weekend. The Patriots are a much more high-profile team than Baltimore and New England obviously plays much more exciting style of football. 

Who is the biggest star on Baltimore? I'd like it to be Ray Rice, and some might say it should be Ed Reed, but it's still the 1,000-year old Ray Lewis. Still, to this day, people talk more about his experience at the Super Bowl in 2000 than his resounding Super Bowl victory a year later. Is it fair? Probably not, no. But it would be a storyline.

Having said that, the matchup between the 49ers and Ravens has the absolute best storyline of any potential pairing.

Sure, after two weeks of interviewing moms and dads and siblings and cousins, we might get sick of the Harbaugh family reunion storyline, but given the fact that the brothers won't be able to talk as much as the rest of the family, what with trying to prepare for a pretty significant football game, the story of the Harbaugh family putting head coaches on both sidelines is really, really neat.

Forget about sports for a second, who didn't grow up wanting to beat the living tar out of his brother?

The problem is, that seems like the only positive storyline with this matchup. The Ravens and 49ers are eerily similar: two great defenses, great running backs and questionable quarterbacks.

Can you imagine the chance for a Manning vs. Brady Super Bowl and getting Smith vs. Flacco? We might never hear the end of that storyline—can these teams win a Super Bowl in spite of their quarterbacks?—when, based on the play in the playoffs so far, it's really not a fair statement to make. Note: at least it's not Tebow.

Last, the fear of a defensive struggle in the Super Bowl pre-emptively bores people and the thought of a low-scoring regular season rematch already has fans comparing a 49ers-Ravens Super Bowl to the BCS Championship. 

Nobody wants to relive that storyline.

New York Giants vs. Baltimore Ravens

It's easy to remember the Giants Super Bowl victory over the once-undefeated Patriots (more on that in a minute), but it's hard to forget the Giants were decimated in their previous Super Bowl appearance, losing 34-7 to the Ravens in Super Bowl XXXV.

That Super Bowl was so long ago there are more TV analysts who played in that game than guys still in the league by a dozen.

If the Ravens make the Super Bowl, we know we'll get bombarded with Ray Lewis talk already, but it will be 10 times worse if the Ravens face the Giants. We can probably handle a storyline between Lewis and Patrick Willis because that's a fresh angle and a pretty unique angle. Lewis and his defense against Tom Coughlin feels less unique.

Maybe living smack in between New York (85 miles south) and Baltimore (113 miles north) has me dreading the thought of getting bombarded with Super Bowl storylines on both sides.

Maybe having two teams without any pre-existing angles next to a Super Bowl more than a decade ago will provide some unique stories I haven't thought of. Or, likely, everyone will ascend on Indianapolis ready to write the story of Eli Manning winning his second Super Bowl in Peyton's building. No matter who the Giants face, the Manning brothers will certainly be a major storyline.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for the two weeks every year when Archie Manning manages to make himself relevant. This year he can talk about Peyton's contract situation or Andrew Luck or Eli being the best brother if he wins a second Super Bowl or whatever he'll come up with to make himself newsworthy. I just…can't…wait.

New York Giants vs. New England Patriots

Let's get one thing straight before we talk about a potential Giants-Patriots Super Bowl. Regardless of whether or not Eli is in the game, Peyton Manning is going to be a huge storyline during Super Bowl week and there's an absolute certainty Archie Manning will make himself part it. If Eli is there, the focus on Archie will become even bigger and Peyton's storyline will be magnified even more.

Having said that, if Eli is set to face Peyton's archrival Tom Brady, that kicks the Peyton angle up to an astronomical level.

Can Eli vanquish Brady on Peyton's field? Can Brady beat Peyton's little brother and get revenge for Super Bowl XLII, cementing his dominance as the greatest quarterback of this generation?

The storylines write themselves, which is why we'll all get tired of writing them (and reading them) if we have two weeks with nothing else to cover.

How many times can we look at the David Tyree catch in a two-week span? It was one of the greatest plays in the history of the Super Bowl, but seeing it broken down frame by frame again and again –or having to hear prominent national sportswriters from worldwide-leading websites complain about how lucky it was over and over again–might be too much to handle.

Let's not forget there have been a few years in between Super Bowls for these teams, meaning it's OK to retread on the old Bill Parcells/Bill Belichick connection between both teams. I'm sure the networks still have the stories from last time ready to run on Monday.

This might be the most intriguing matchup now, but after two weeks, I can't imagine any game I'd be more sick of hearing about come kickoff.

The hope is something will happen before the Super Bowl that's unexpected. Somebody will say something stupid or somebody will have a lingering injury issue that will, for a short time, push the obvious storylines aside. For a short time.

Let's be clear, two weeks is an eternity between games, and everything will be analyzed and covered and overcovered. If you don't care about who wins the games this weekend, think about what storylines you're already tired of hearing…and root the opposite way.