The Truth About Twins Fans: Minnesota Loves a Loser

Sometimes, baseball provides an excellent reflection of the people who watch it. 

The average fan fixates on stars. Cubs fans lament their World Series drought, but they still honor their heroes. Yankees fans have their icons. So do the Red Sox faithful. 

The point: Most folks revere greatness.  It's an understandable appreciation of accomplishment, one that probably stems from our own difficult evolution on a violent and inhospitable planet.

But Minnesotans are different.

Of course, you wouldn't know it from talking to Minnesota Twins fans.

Minnesotans love Denny Hocking. Seriously.  Many Twins fans want Buck Buchanan back on the Twins.  And why not?  Matt LeCroy came home, albeit to the Twins' minor league system. 

When Corey Koskie chose to leave the Twins, he actually bought an ad in a local Minnesota newspaper to apologize.  A player of exceptional mediocrity, Koskie was so beloved by fans in Minnesota that his departure was met with great gnashing of teeth.  An impassioned debate exploded among local sports scribes about a .275 career hitter, and what the Twins could possibly do without him.

Koskie has struggled to surpass the .250 mark since leaving Minnesota.  His replacements have fared little better.

In 2005, Michael Cuddyer was the Twins' primary third baseman.  He's a good corner infielder in his own right, but he has flourished in right field, and that's clearly where he belongs. The Twins experimented with a number of other third basemen without finding a winner; in 2006 they gambled on the lumbering Tony Batista—and didn't get anything close to what they were looking for.

Enter Nick Punto. 

The 28-year-old career middle-infield backup was handed the starting job at the hot corner as Batista exited stage left.  With his slap hitting and gritty glove work, Punto won a place in the hearts of all true Minnesotans. 

Last year, Punto played the part of the piranha—the little fish that would nibble away bit-by-bit at opponents.  He performed much better than expected, but his offensive performance was still below average: .291 with one home run and a paltry .373 slugging percentage. 

Of course, that meant the Twins just had to give him a two-year extension...and stubbornly declare the third base job his for the keeping. 

This season, Punto has a .606 OPS in 17 games—well below even his career numbers, which are themselves well below the American League average. The truth: He's a mediocre player who tries hard—and thus has endeared himself to the native psyche of an entire state. 

In a way, baseball has helped me better understand what it means to be from Minnesota.  Why was Minnesota the only state in the Union not to vote for Ronald Reagan in 1984?  Minnesota loves mediocrity—especially when it's homegrown mediocrity like Walter Mondale's.  Jesse Ventura for Governor?  Why not. Dukakis in 1988?  Perfect. 

I'd make fun of a prominent Republican here...but Minnesota has no prominent Republicans.  They're mediocre losers too—they just don't have any name ID. 

How about the Timberwolves' 17-30 franchise record in the playoffs?  God bless those guys, they try.  How about the Metrodome, the worst venue for professional sports ever?  If you squint, it looks an awful lot like the ideal monument to Minnesota decision-making.

Maybe I'm being too hard on my geographical kin.  Maybe I'm bitter over Minnesota's acceptance of a new baseball stadium without a roof...even after the old open Metropolitan Stadium was abandoned because April in Minneapolis, with its freezing rain and ice cold wind, is the most miserable time of the year. 

Or maybe I just don't get what it is to be a Twins fan.

In a way, you have to admire Minnesotans.  They're good folk: proud Scandinavians and honest Irishmen who work the land and handle some of the most immoderate weather in the world in a completely moderate and mediocre way.  They're also, incidentally, the healthiest people in the country, and they love outdoor recreation.

I just wish they could love someone at third base who can actually hit.

Marty Andrade is a frequent contributor to the Bleacher Report and the host of a live weekly podcast at BlogTalkRadio.com/Andrade.