Hottest Sports Stories for Friday, Dec. 23
Dan Orlovsky did his best impression of Peyton Manning doing a Tebow, Carlos Beltran is finally employed and Kobe Bryant is going to play despite his hand falling off.
Welcome to the Daily Radar, the one place that knows the difference between a Police Riot and a Quiet Riot. Leave your comments in the place marked comments.
Let's dish.
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
In this edition:
A-ROD GOES UNDERGROUND
No, not that A-Rod, the good one. Andy Roddick goes off on a rap song classic that even your mom knows the words to.
Question on Everybody's Mind: How did he do?
Our Take: You be the judge, but I say he rocked it in every way you can. He even had an ugly Christmas sweater that any Ho-Ho-Hipister would be proud to wear.
Hype Meter: 5 out of 5 Singing in the Showers
While this song is truly epic, I always have issues with the fact that Andy Roddick looks exactly like an in-shape Daniel Tosh.
Deeper Dive:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COLTS NOT INTERESTED IN LOCKING UP LUCK
The one thing the Colts were doing well this season was sucking for Andrew Luck. Now they can't even do that right as they beat the Texans with a late drive that would have made Tim Tebow proud. Okay, Tebow is always proud. He would have been pooping gum balls from glee.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Who will get Andrew Luck now?
Our Take: This is the best. We now get to discuss which crappy teams suck the hardest, always a treat. The Colts still need to win and need the Rams or Vikings to drop their remaining two games. Gosh, all these teams are such caca, I have no idea what's going to happen. I am truly stumped.
Hype Meter: 5 out of 5 Horrible Is The New Awesomes
The Suck for Luck campaign is really heating up. I have no idea why ESPN doesn't just have a scenario generator on the subject already. That seems like the kind of overkill that would be right up their alley.
Deeper Dive:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MAMBA HAS ONE PERFECTLY FINE WRIST
Kobe Bryant is going to play Sunday despite having a torn ligament in his shooting hand. I whine for weeks when I get a paper cut in my burrito-eating arm.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Is this a smart move?
Our Take: There's no choice. Kobe Bryant is going through an awful divorce and I assume can't stand going home. It's either he plays or he comes over to your house. I for one don't have the energy to entertain.
Hype Meter: 5 out of 5 Real Men of Geniuses
Get ready for some Christmas silliness, and I'm not talking about the awful bunny suit your Aunt Clara gave you. I am talking about the Black Mamba going for 30 points on one hand and stealing the show. Or he will be horrible and the Lakers will lose. Either way, it should be entertaining.
Deeper Dive:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CARDINALS GET BETTER AND OLDER ALL IN ONE ACQUISITION
Carlos Beltran will take his eventual injuries to St. Louis as he fills the void left by Albert Pujols.
Question on Everybody's Mind: What are the Cardinals thinking?
Our Take: I actually like this move. Beltran has one great half season left in him, so the Cards can just string that out over two years.
Hype Meter: 4 out of 5 Disabled Lists
Cards fans won't line the street to welcome Beltran, but this move keeps them in the upper-echelon of National League teams. It just isn't all that exciting considering his legs are equivalent to what Joe Torre is walking on right now.
Well I Assume So Tweet Award:
Deeper Dive:
Cardinals Get Big Bat in Carlos Beltran (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOISE STATE FOLLOWS SCRIPT
Not much changes as Boise State sends off Kellen Moore with yet another rout of a lesser team.
Question on Everybody's Mind: What did we miss?
Our Take: Not much. The Las Vegas Bowl was just as it was scripted, one great team against a mediocre one. You fill in the blanks. Kellen Moore had a subpar game and the Broncos still mollywhopped Arizona State. It's like Rocky Balboa the movie surviving on one epic monologue.
Hype Meter: 3 out of 5 Hurting Bombs
I now sit and wait for what is a few dozen young men caught on a Thursday night in Las Vegas. The season is over and it's time to get silly. I will be clicking refresh for the first mistakes to roll in.
Deeper Dive:
No. 6 Boise State Rolls in Las Vegas (USA Today)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAILY FUN WITH MOVING PICTURES
Because what else are you going to watch at work?
LIFE LESSON OF THE DAY
If you are a mediocre athlete, please stay clear of Kim Kardashian. She will just suck you in and spit you out, making you a cartoon to be laughed at in the end.
Deeper Dive: Watch Kim Kardashian's Former Husband Get Booed at MSG (B/R)
----------------------------------------------------
LOB ANGELES CLIPPERS
Two big men, one ball.
Deeper Dive: Watch Clippers' Star Go Lob City on DeAndre Jordan Dunk (B/R)
----------------------------------------------------
LEBRON JAMES GETS TOUCHY
This season is going to be ridiculously awesome.
Deeper Dive: Watch King James' Shoving Match With Quentin Richardson (B/R)
----------------------------------------------------
PRE-CHRISTMAS MIRACLE
Texans QB T.J. Yates has his pass deflected. It then bounces of one Colt and then another; goes through a time warp and lands in the hands of Jacoby Jones for a 10-yard catch.
----------------------------------------------------
PING-PONG BONANZA
The 10 best shots of 2011. I am not about to contend such things.
----------------------------------------------------
KOBE MAKIN' SHOES
Here is the Black Mamba in a deep discussion on how his revolutionary shoe is made. Play in flip-flops. Now that would be revolutionary.
----------------------------------------------------
PUCK YOU
Rangers forward Ryan Callahan throws a puck in Matt Moulson's face. Yay.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BITS OF TID
Little bits of goodness with a chewy center.
JUST KICKING IT
The Cage Doctors have video of a capoeira kick to the face. It's as delicious as it sounds.
----------------------------------------------------
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KAYTE CHRISTENSEN
Busted Coverage has a rundown, in picture form, of the Phoenix Suns' social media sideline reporter Kayte Christensen. I have no idea what she does, but I like it.
----------------------------------------------------
GAME TIME
Guyism.com has a new game called, "What's Kate Upton Thinking?" What kidders.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND
All times are Eastern. (Unless you are in the east, then they are just times.)
SATURDAY
Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills—1:00 p.m. CBS
Tim Tebow could deliver the playoffs in time for a million Christmas cliches to be used.
NY Giants at NY Jets—1:00 p.m. FOX
Rex Ryan may be on the hot seat with a loss, a very big and sturdy hot seat, with plenty of weight clearance.
Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys—4:15 p.m. FOX
Tony Romo may choke or the Eagles lose, fun for all.
SUNDAY
Boston Celtics at New York Knicks—12:00 p.m. TNT
The season starts with some geriatrics getting dunked on.
Miami Heat at Dallas Mavericks—2:30 ABC
LeBron James laces up his shoes to begin another season in which he loses more hair.
Chicago Bulls at LA Lakers—5:00 p.m. ABC
If you look closely, you can probably catch Kobe Bryant on a date.
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers—8:20 p.m. NBC
I'm sure the NFL had Josh McCown in mind when they scheduled this game on Christmas.
LA Clippers at Golden State Warriors—10:30 p.m. ESPN
Watch slam dunks.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAILY DESSERT
Until Monday, Happy Holidays.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
