Hottest Sports Stories for Friday, Dec. 23

Gabe Zaldivar

Dec 22, 2011

Dan Orlovsky did his best impression of Peyton Manning doing a Tebow, Carlos Beltran is finally employed and Kobe Bryant is going to play despite his hand falling off.

Welcome to the Daily Radar, the one place that knows the difference between a Police Riot and a Quiet Riot. Leave your comments in the place marked comments.

Let's dish.

TOP NEWS

Vrbo Fiesta Bowl - Penn State v Boise State

In this edition:

Colts Win But Kinda Lose
Mamba Rubs Some Dirt On It
Cardinals Hop On The Beltran
Boise State Sends Kellen Moore Off
Daily Fun With Moving Pictures
Bits of Tid
What to Watch This Weekend
Daily Dessert

A-ROD GOES UNDERGROUND

No, not that A-Rod, the good one. Andy Roddick goes off on a rap song classic that even your mom knows the words to.

Question on Everybody's Mind: How did he do?

Our Take: You be the judge, but I say he rocked it in every way you can. He even had an ugly Christmas sweater that any Ho-Ho-Hipister would be proud to wear.

Hype Meter: 5 out of 5 Singing in the Showers

While this song is truly epic, I always have issues with the fact that Andy Roddick looks exactly like an in-shape Daniel Tosh.

Deeper Dive:

Watch A-Rod Rap in a Santa Hat and Awful X-Mas Sweater (B/R)

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COLTS NOT INTERESTED IN LOCKING UP LUCK

The one thing the Colts were doing well this season was sucking for Andrew Luck. Now they can't even do that right as they beat the Texans with a late drive that would have made Tim Tebow proud. Okay, Tebow is always proud. He would have been pooping gum balls from glee.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Who will get Andrew Luck now?

Our Take: This is the best. We now get to discuss which crappy teams suck the hardest, always a treat. The Colts still need to win and need the Rams or Vikings to drop their remaining two games. Gosh, all these teams are such caca, I have no idea what's going to happen. I am truly stumped.

Hype Meter: 5 out of 5 Horrible Is The New Awesomes

The Suck for Luck campaign is really heating up. I have no idea why ESPN doesn't just have a scenario generator on the subject already. That seems like the kind of overkill that would be right up their alley.

Deeper Dive:

Texans vs. Colts: Last-Second Win Adds Intrigue to Hunt for Andrew Luck (B/R)

Colts Owners Says Manning Will Be Back With Colts If Healthy (IndyStar)

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MAMBA HAS ONE PERFECTLY FINE WRIST

Kobe Bryant is going to play Sunday despite having a torn ligament in his shooting hand. I whine for weeks when I get a paper cut in my burrito-eating arm.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Is this a smart move?

Our Take: There's no choice. Kobe Bryant is going through an awful divorce and I assume can't stand going home. It's either he plays or he comes over to your house. I for one don't have the energy to entertain.

Hype Meter: 5 out of 5 Real Men of Geniuses

Get ready for some Christmas silliness, and I'm not talking about the awful bunny suit your Aunt Clara gave you. I am talking about the Black Mamba going for 30 points on one hand and stealing the show. Or he will be horrible and the Lakers will lose. Either way, it should be entertaining.

Deeper Dive:

Kobe Bryant Delivers Christmas Joy and Will Play in Lakers Season Opener (B/R)

Kobe Bryant's Wrist Should Be Fine For Sunday (LA Times)

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CARDINALS GET BETTER AND OLDER ALL IN ONE ACQUISITION

Carlos Beltran will take his eventual injuries to St. Louis as he fills the void left by Albert Pujols.

Question on Everybody's Mind: What are the Cardinals thinking?

Our Take: I actually like this move. Beltran has one great half season left in him, so the Cards can just string that out over two years.

Hype Meter: 4 out of 5 Disabled Lists

Cards fans won't line the street to welcome Beltran, but this move keeps them in the upper-echelon of National League teams. It just isn't all that exciting considering his legs are equivalent to what Joe Torre is walking on right now.

Well I Assume So Tweet Award:

Deeper Dive:

Cardinals Agree to Terms with Veteran OF Carlos Beltran (B/R)

Cardinals Get Big Bat in Carlos Beltran (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

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BOISE STATE FOLLOWS SCRIPT

Not much changes as Boise State sends off Kellen Moore with yet another rout of a lesser team.

Question on Everybody's Mind: What did we miss?

Our Take: Not much. The Las Vegas Bowl was just as it was scripted, one great team against a mediocre one. You fill in the blanks. Kellen Moore had a subpar game and the Broncos still mollywhopped Arizona State. It's like Rocky Balboa the movie surviving on one epic monologue.

Hype Meter: 3 out of 5 Hurting Bombs

I now sit and wait for what is a few dozen young men caught on a Thursday night in Las Vegas. The season is over and it's time to get silly. I will be clicking refresh for the first mistakes to roll in.

Deeper Dive:

Arizona State vs. Boise State: Big Bowl Win Bittersweet for Broncos (B/R)

No. 6 Boise State Rolls in Las Vegas (USA Today)

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DAILY FUN WITH MOVING PICTURES

Because what else are you going to watch at work?

LIFE LESSON OF THE DAY

If you are a mediocre athlete, please stay clear of Kim Kardashian. She will just suck you in and spit you out, making you a cartoon to be laughed at in the end.

Deeper Dive: Watch Kim Kardashian's Former Husband Get Booed at MSG (B/R)

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LOB ANGELES CLIPPERS

Two big men, one ball.

Deeper Dive: Watch Clippers' Star Go Lob City on DeAndre Jordan Dunk (B/R)

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LEBRON JAMES GETS TOUCHY

This season is going to be ridiculously awesome.

Deeper Dive: Watch King James' Shoving Match With Quentin Richardson (B/R)

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PRE-CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

Texans QB T.J. Yates has his pass deflected. It then bounces of one Colt and then another; goes through a time warp and lands in the hands of Jacoby Jones for a 10-yard catch.

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PING-PONG BONANZA

The 10 best shots of 2011. I am not about to contend such things.

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KOBE MAKIN' SHOES

Here is the Black Mamba in a deep discussion on how his revolutionary shoe is made. Play in flip-flops. Now that would be revolutionary.

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PUCK YOU

Rangers forward Ryan Callahan throws a puck in Matt Moulson's face. Yay.

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BITS OF TID

Little bits of goodness with a chewy center.

JUST KICKING IT

The Cage Doctors have video of a capoeira kick to the face. It's as delicious as it sounds.

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KAYTE CHRISTENSEN

Busted Coverage has a rundown, in picture form, of the Phoenix Suns' social media sideline reporter Kayte Christensen. I have no idea what she does, but I like it.

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GAME TIME

Guyism.com has a new game called, "What's Kate Upton Thinking?" What kidders.

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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND

All times are Eastern. (Unless you are in the east, then they are just times.)

SATURDAY

Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills—1:00 p.m. CBS

Tim Tebow could deliver the playoffs in time for a million Christmas cliches to be used.

NY Giants at NY Jets—1:00 p.m. FOX

Rex Ryan may be on the hot seat with a loss, a very big and sturdy hot seat, with plenty of weight clearance.

Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys—4:15 p.m. FOX