In Memoriam: Long Beach Poly Football

Dear friends, writers, scribes, analysts, senior writers, and other contributors to Bleacher Report:

We are here to commemorate (or repudiate, depending on your spectrum of Scroogeness) the life of a great being that came close to immortality, only to be denied such an honor at the Eleventh Hour.

Long Beach Polytechnic High School Jackrabbit football died at approximately 11:10 PM Pacific Standard Time, on Saturday, December 20, 2008. Surrounded by about 3,000 or 4,000 around him, he died a painful death at the hands of the Grant High School Pacer Team.

The loss brought bruised egos, heavy blushes, and broken hearts of green and gold.

It was a day of elation for those in the armpit of Sacramento known as Del Paso Heights. "This victory is better than my first shower in a year," exclaimed one anonymous Pacer alumnus in her '80s.

Poly Football's death has no doubt become a symbol of the ultimate letdown a team can give to its region at the high school football level. To see the sentence "Grant 25, LB Poly 20" indicates the type of death he has faced.

An upset. An instance of conventional wisdom given the finger.

"The glory of a season will not be forgotten, but this loss might as well be," said head coach Raul Lara during his eulogy to the mourners under a gloomy, chilly December evening. "Not even the Pacer team bus overturning and ending the lives of all aboard it can erase the pain of our loss."

"It was a letdown for all of Southern California, and we will be sad to see him go. May he be at rest in the presence of his maker, whoever that may be."

Long Beach Mayor Bob Foster has declared the weekend "a week of mourning and a week of wanting to forget" the loss, on a week where the city was expected to celebrate Christmas, as with the rest of the world.

"Right now, Santa Claus doesn't deserve to come here," Foster said with a bitter beer face, "unless he wants to give lumps of coal to the players.

"And heavy lumps, too. That I will allow."

The body will be cremated at the crematorium located near the school track next Monday and the ashes will be sent to Sacramento. Only God knows where they will end up then.