Words from the Mouth of Kevin Steele Presented in Not-Quite-Full Context: Week 9

Kevin Steele is a coach who was once attacked by his own linebacker on the sidelines during a Carolina Panthers game. Clemson's current defensive coordinator played for Johnny Majors and has worked as an assistant for the likes of Tom Osborne, Bobby Bowden and Nick Saban. 

Besides having an impressive coaching pedigree and the best surname a linebackers coach could possibly have, Steele gives fantastic and colorful media interviews to Clemson beat reports each week, which is what you would expect of anyone raised in Dillon, South Carolina. (Well, maybe not quite anyone from Dillon.)

During interviews, Steele doesn't just talk Xs and Os or tell you how he thinks his defense matches up against, for instance, Georgia Tech's triple option onslaught this Saturday. He's just as likely to drop metaphors about marriage or grilling seafood or toy soldiers in an effort to illuminate on-the-field happenings.

These passages liven Steele's media interviews and make for great reads, but his colloquialisms are even better when you read then in slightly-less-than-full context. Below are a few such excerpts from this week, as reported by Greg Wallace of the Anderson Independent-Mail:

"

"He’ll be put in this game. If he does, he’ll stay out there. If not, someone else will be out there."

"At my house, don’t mess with my lawnmower. I’ll cut the grass."

"[I]t wasn't anybody in the camera. The ball and the receiver."

"It’s like NASCAR (pit crews). If you’re supposed to pump the gas, pump the gas. Supposed to change the tire, change the tire."

"OK, the ball is here. OK, it’s not really here. OK, the ball is here. OK, it’s not really here . . . But now here’s where it is."

"Put your soccer shin guards on and go to work."

"

Read the entire piece to (maybe) figure out what Steele was talking about.