New York Yankees: Alex Rodriguez's $32 Million Salary Builds a Formidable Team

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is the highest-paid player in Major League Baseball, but he's definitely not someone you want in the batter's box when the game's on the line.

His body language was proof of that in Thursday night's 3-2 home loss to the Detroit Tigers in Game 5 of the American League Division Series.

So here we are, stuck with a contract that will continue to pay an aging player upwards of $20 million until 2017.

He has compiled a .180 batting average with 12 strikeouts in his last two postseasons, which has caused many fans to forget his 2009 heroics that led the team to a World Series Championship.

Let's do some shopping and see if we can build a 25-man roster using his $32 million salary, as the Bronx Bombers will not win another ring until his contract is up.

Ian Kennedy, Arizona Diamondbacks SP

Starting pitcher Ian Kennedy will be on the mound tonight against the Milwaukee Brewers in Game 5 of a National League Division Series, but this one hurts even more due to the Yankees actually drafting him in 2006 in the first round.

The right-hander posted a 21-4 record and 2.88 ERA during the regular season and made just $423,000.

I guess A.J. Burnett is a bargain at $16.5 million.

Daniel Hudson, Arizona Diamondbacks SP

Let's stay in the desert and grab Daniel Hudson, who will be a minimal $419,000 hit to the salary cap.

Arizona's top two pitchers don't even equal up to a $1 million, so we'll have plenty of money to spend, consider A-Rod checks in at $32 million.

He is 25-15 with a 3.19 ERA in 53 career games (49 starts), but was also dumped by a team, as the Chicago White Sox didn't see him fit into their future plans.

Gio Gonzalez, Oakland Athletics

Let's stay out West and grab Oakland Athletics left-hander Gio Gonzalez, as he only finished the year with a 16-12 record and 3.12 ERA in 32 starts.

At a cool $420,000, he will fit in just fine as the No. 3 starter.

Ivan Nova, New York Yankees SP

I think we need at least one Yankees player to keep around on the roster—you know, to warn everyone about the New York media.

Ivan Nova finished the 2011 regular season with a 16-4 record and 3.70 ERA, while also being the team's starter for its most important game of the year.

We know how that turned out, but we can't blame him if a $32 million player doesn't want to be in the batter's box with the game on the line.

His $432,900 may break the bank, but we'll take a flyer on him.

Brandon Beachy, Atlanta Braves SP

We better slow down on the spending, as we're really breaking the bank with four pitchers already, so we'll drop down and pay Atlanta Braves starting pitcher Brandon Beachy his $416,500 salary.

He wore down at the end of the year, but his 7-3 record and 3.68 ERA in 25 starts will do just fine. 

Starting rotation equals $2,111,400.

I guess we'll find a way to spend $29,888,600 on 20 more players to fill out the roster.

David Robertson, New York Yankees RP

Let's add another player in pinstripes to the roster, as relief pitcher David Robertson was only 4-0 with a 1.08 ERA in 70 appearances this season.

Opposing hitters hit .170 against him and the price is right at $460,450.

Alex Rodriguez only makes his salary 69 times over.

That's fair.

John Axford, Milwaukee Brewers RP

Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford tallied 46 saves on his $442,500 salary, which turns out to be $9,619.56 for every one that he notched.

Rodriguez only got $2 million for each of his 16 home runs.

That's economical.

Tyler Clippard, Washington Nationals RP

Tyler Clippard earned his paycheck in being the setup man in Washington, holding 38 games, while posting a 1.83 ERA.

The right-hander limited opposing batters to a .162 average, which is 114 points lower than what the highest-paid player in baseball made this year.

I don't mind paying him $443,000 for 104 strikeouts in 88.1 innings.

Neftali Feliz, Texas Rangers RP

We're really breaking the bank in paying Texas Rangers reliever Neftali Feliz a whopping $457,160.

I guess we'll find a way to do it, considering he's allowed hitters to bat .173 against him since he entered the league in 2009.

Also, if we face Rodriguez with this team, he's limited him to one hit in four at-bats.

Jonny Venters, Atlanta Braves RP

We have to get a left-hander in the bullpen, so I guess we'll really break the bank and spend $429,500 for Atlanta Braves thrower Jonny Venters.

He's only allowed 114 hits in 171 innings in his first two years in the league.

I think those numbers are worth $32 million a year.

Freddie Freeman, Atlanta Braves 1B

Atlanta Braves first baseman Freddie Freeman hit five more home runs than Rodriguez, so we can justify spending $414,000 on him to join in on the fun.

I think we'll also take his .282 batting average that checks in six points higher than the highest-paid player as well.

Gaby Sanchez, Florida Marlins 1B

Let's grab some depth at the first base position and spend $431,000 on Florida's Gaby Sanchez, who finished with 19 home runs and 78 RBI. 

He slumped down the stretch, but hit .293 with 13 home runs and 50 RBI before the All-Star break.

Darwin Barney, Chicago Cubs 2B

The Chicago Cubs are another team that loves to blow money, but second baseman Darwin Barney fits our budget at a cool $417,000.

He finished with 146 hits this season—only 43 more than the highest-paid player in the game.

That's good enough for us.

Starlin Castro, Chicago Cubs SS

Let's stay in the Windy City and grab a shortstop, spending a combined total of $857,000 on our middle infield. 

The Yankees middle infield makes $24,729,364—but that's still not close to what Rodriguez brings in.

Starlin Castro finished with a .307 batting average and 91 runs scored, which fits nicely within our massive budget.

Elvis Andrus, Texas Rangers SS

At these historic interest rates, Goldman Sachs is going to allow me to purchase another shortstop, as we welcome in Elvis Andrus.

The second-year player for the Texas Rangers will leave a significant dent in our salary cap, as he'll make $452,180 for his 96 runs scored and 37 stolen bases.

I wonder what $32 million could buy.

Neil Walker, Pittsburgh Pirates 3B

I really hate paying for 21 more RBI than the highest-paid player in the league, but Pittsburgh's Neil Walker is on our team.

He lacks speed with nine stolen bases, but I guess five more than Rodriguez's total this year will have to do.

Amazing what $437,000 can buy you outside of the Big Apple.

Jacoby Ellsbury, Boston Red Sox Outfielder

I hate to do it, but we're going to give out a $2.4 million contract to Boston Red Sox outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury.

Considering his numbers this year are better than the highest-paid player's last three years—it's justified.

Maybe the Yankees should offer him a $32 million contract.

Alex Gordon, Kansas City Royals Outfielder

Let's do another major investment and pay Kansas City Royals outfielder Alex Gordon a cool $1.4 million, as we've been waiting for him to break out.

He also has the ability to play the same position as the highest-paid player in baseball.

Imagine that.

His .303 average and 23 home runs with 87 RBI will have to do for now.

Matt Joyce, Tampa Bay Rays Outfielder

We're spending way too much money, so let's offer Matt Joyce a $426,000 contract, which will actually provide us higher marks in all the Triple Crown categories than the league's highest-paid player.

Amazing.

Seth Smith, Colorado Rockies Outfielder

I know what we need to do to reach the level of Rodriguez's performance this year: head out to the Mile High City and pay outfielder Seth Smith a wallet-busting $429,000.

One fewer home run and three fewer RBI, but the price is right.

Michael Morse, Washington Nationals Outfielder

Let's add another millionaire, but also get nearly double the production in home runs.

Washington's Michael Morse also gives us flexibility in playing in the infield or outfield, which is nice to go with his 31 round-trippers.

Alex Rodriguez last hit that many home runs back in 2008.

Morse sounds like a better deal at $1,050,000.

Alex Avila, Detroit Tigers Catcher

I don't want to spend $425,000 on a catcher that outperforms the highest-paid player in baseball in all three Triple Crown categories.

How in the world is Detroit managing to pay Alex Avila that much money?

Simply incredible.

Matt Wieters, Baltimore Orioles Catcher

Baltimore Orioles catcher Matt Wieters is overpaid by hitting 14 points lower than Rodriguez, but his 22 home runs and 68 RBI will fit in nicely at $452,250.

He's still overpaid in comparison to our starting catcher, but we can handle paying the two less than $1 million combined.

Doug Fister, Detroit Tigers SP

Just in case we need to beat an Alex Rodriguez-led team in Game 5 of a playoff series, let's spend $436,500 and do it with Detroit Tigers SP Doug Fister.

He only posted a 5-0 record and 0.53 ERA in five appearances in September—when his team needed him most.

The highest-paid player struck out two times in the same situation on a Thursday night.

Jose Valverde, Detroit Tigers RP

We're way under budget and need to strike out the highest-paid player in baseball to finish out the game.

I heard Detroit Tigers closer Jose Valverde is available for $7 million and hasn't blown a save all year.

Makes sense to me.

Alex Rodriguez, Owner

Might as well own a team when you make $32 million a year and the price of these 25 players comes out to $20,954,440.

I think it's time to restructure that contract, even if the player's union is firmly against it.

Play ball!