World Football's 10 Biggest Knuckleheads

Football has always suffered from stupidity.

From fans airing opinions that hold no ground whatsoever, to players coming out with the most ridiculous things in press conferences and managers who just can't see the ugly truth in front of them (I'm looking at you Arsene).

But honestly, it's knuckleheads like these that make our viewing of the sport all the more pleasurable.

Whilst we may not agree with what a manager has to say after a heavy loss, we all sit after the match to hear what excuses they have, no matter how outrageous they are. It's the same with players who cast themselves as the greatest on the planet, yet the next game, they're stuck on the bench and fail to impress when subbed on.

Knuckleheads and football go hand in hand with each other, and we all love them for the comedy, anger and sheer disbelief they produce for fans of the sport all over the world.

So here's a list of 10 of the biggest knuckleheads going...

1. Zlatan Ibrahimović

We'll start with the big guy first. At 6'5", Zlatan Ibrahimovic towers over most other players, and some of the stories you hear about the AC Milan striker are as tall and far-fetched as the lanky hit-man.

Zlatan, which is a registered trademark since 2003, has a long rap sheet involving many ludicrous things, including getting a builder's son who was having a kick-about with the striker outside his home in Milan a place in the AC Milan youth team.

Just because he is Zlatan (TM).

Then of course, there's his penchant for kicking his teammates, something that has in fact earned him an honorary blackbelt in Tae-Kwon Do. Unlucky victims include Antonio Cassano, his strike partner for Milan, the brazilian Robinho and reserve player Rodney Strasser.

Even on the pitch, he's a massive knucklehead. Last season, he had the chance of setting a record for three consecutive red cards in league games.

The first came for punching an opponent in the stomach during a game against Bari, and after his three match suspension, he returned to the squad only to be sent off again for cursing at the referee.

Zlatan's (TM) defence? He was talking to himself in frustration.

Zlatan, (TM) believe me; we're all frustrated with you.

2. Ashley Cole

Where do we begin with Ashley Cole? The Chelsea and England left-back is touted as the best in the world at his position, but sometimes, it seems that common sense just escapes the defender at times. Particularly when writing his life story...when he was just 25.

A lack of common sense seems to be a reoccurring theme within Cole's life, from being fined for speeding, even after telling judges it was to get away from the paparazzi.

Apparently, that was a legitimate excuse in Cole's eyes. Unfortunately for him, the courts didn't agree.

Then of course, there's his most recent high profile gaffe, when he "accidentally" shot a 21-year-old student on work experience at Chelsea FC's training ground with an air rifle. Whilst Cole did apologize afterwards, no one seems to be asking why there was an air rifle at a training ground in the first place.

But the biggest and stupidest thing Cole has ever done? He decided that his wife, Cheryl Cole, the nation's favorite pop singer, wasn't enough for him, so he had a string of affairs.

Now if you don't know who Cheryl Cole is, I suggest you take the time to find out (after reading this article), and you'll discover why Ashley didn't need to cheat when he had a wife like her waiting at home for him.

Ashley Cole, one of the biggest knuckleheads going and surpassed by only one man...

3. John Terry

Yes, it's the Chelsea captain himself, John Terry, the only man who makes Ashley Cole look like a saint.

Captain Fantastic, Mr. Chelsea himself and former dad of the year and current England Captain. Terry pretty much had everything going for him and was getting away with just about ever stunt he pulled right up until he meddled with a french lingerie model.

To call Terry's private life "colorful" is perhaps being polite, as most of it is blue and reads like a porno script. He's apparently had affairs with eight women before marrying current wife Toni Poole in 2007.

He's been cleared of GBH (Grievous Bodily Harm) against a London Doorman, gambled 40 grand a week with fellow teammates at the dog track and led a private tour of Stamford Bridge, home of Chelsea FC, to tourists for literally hundreds of pounds.

As if he needed any more money.

But the biggest moment in his career came when he and former teammate Wayne Bridge came face to face in a clash between Chelsea and Manchester City. At the time, it was revealed that Terry had an affair with Bridge's former girlfriend Veronica Perroncel. These two were supposed to be best mates, but when they came out to play each other, the greatest moment in Soccer Saturday history occurred.

Before kick-off, the home team stand and shake hands with the away side. However, all eyes were on just two players: John Terry and Wayne Bridge.

As Bridge slowly made his way through the Chelsea players, shaking hands with each one of them, England stopped and stared at whether Bridge would shake the hand of Terry, the man who had an affair with his ex-girlfriend.

He did not, Terry was snubbed and humiliated, the nation was in fits of laughter, Chelsea fans were outraged, City fans applauded and Jeff Stelling cheered.

Then, to add insult to injury, Terry was turned inside out by City's strikers as Chelsea lost 3-1. Not a good day at the office at all for the Londoner.

4. Mario Balotelli

The Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli, better known to fans of English football as Mario Biblotelli, is named of course after his epic struggle to get his training bib on before his teams game against Dynamo Kiev.

Now if no one knows what a training bib is, it's just another name for a vest, essentially a sleeveless t-shirt that usually toddlers wear and have no problem getting on. Mario, however, needs assistance from one of City's coaches.

Throughout his career, though, he's been blighted by incidents like this, an allergic reaction to grass, wearing AC Milan colors whilst a player for Inter, throwing darts at Manchester City's youth players, red cards on debut and he's the only player to be awarded a one out of 10 by his own manager, Jose Mourinho, whilst at Inter Milan.

But still, I really can't stress how ridiculous it is that a man can't get his training bib on.

Usually, the bright, fluorescent bibs are used to distinguish players as part of a specific team. It would seem that for Balotelli, however, they signal danger, embarrassment and humiliation.

5. Robbie Keane

Robbie Keane: Great footballer but please keep him away from the media...

Upon joining Tottenham Hotspur in 2002:

"I've always wanted to play for Spurs" Well then, Robbie, well done for realizing your dream. But wait!

Upon joining Liverpool in 2008:

"I've always wanted to player for Liverpool." Well, OK; Liverpool do have a strong following in Ireland. You probably thought you'd never get there, though.

Upon Joining Celtic on loan in 2010:

"I've always wanted to play for Celtic." Wait. Wait a minute. No. No, you haven't. You're a liar, Robbie Keane. A BIG FAT LIAR. Just stop lying. No-one likes liars!

He's just a ridiculous man, that's all I have to say...

6. Gary Neville

Now, Gary Neville is one of Manchester United's best-loved players. On the other hand, he's hated by just about every other team in the league.

He was the most biased man on the planet whilst in a United shirt and never gave due respect to other teams, particularly Manchester City, whose fans he gave the two fingers during one of the Manchester Derby's not so long ago.

Then of course, there's his famous comment that he "hates scousers" despite the fact that his brother, Phil Neville, plays for Everton. Nice one, Gary; I'm sure they all hate you too.

7. Andy Carroll

Big Andy Carroll.

Probably one of the only players who had to be watched and looked after by his former Club captain Kevin Nolan whilst on bail for a court case during his time at Newcastle. An interesting solution from both the club and the authorities, and it would've been very interesting to hear what Mrs. Nolan had to say about the matter after Big Andy walked through her doors.

Then, of course, there's his well documented drinking habit, the best highlight of which includes buying 30 Jager bombs in a night club, falling off his stool and further aggravating a leg injury that had him sidelined for a month.

All before his big-money move to Liverpool.

Drinking on International Duty has also got him in trouble with the England U-21's, as he and teammates Scott Sinclair and Ryan Bertran were sent home after breaking curfew.

And what does new manager Kenny Dalglish have to say on the drinking matter?

"

 "Well, he's never bought me a drink. I've been with him at Boyzone concerts and he's still never bought me a drink!" - Kenny Dalglish speaking to Sky Sports 

"

Oh, Andy, I don't know what's worse: your drinking, or the fact that you go to Boyzone concerts...

8. Niklas Bendtner

Arsenal's Niklas Bendtner, the only man to score 10 out of nine on a confidence test conducted by Arsenal's back room staff. It's unfortunate then that he can't turn all that confidence into a single good performance because frankly, he is an abomination of a striker.

During his time as an Arsenal player, he has amassed a whopping 205 appearances in seven years and hit the back of the net 53 times. The only time he ever hit more than 10 goals was when he was on loan at Birmingham and he scored 11 league goals.

That's really not impressive at all, and then he had the nerve of actually asking Robin Van Persie for the No. 9 shirt at Arsenal. Reports suggest Van Persie laughed at him and walked away.

If those reports are true, I think that just about the entire Arsenal fanbase must agree with Van Persie, because any time this clown is announced as a substitute, most Arsenal fans seem to laugh and walk right out the stadium, because let's be honest, it's the signal of the end.

9. Arsene Wenger

Described as a voyeur by Jose Mourinho and the man from Japan? by Sir Alex Ferguson, Arsene Wenger is undoubtedly a talented football manager, but he's so dense and stubborn at times that he just screams stupidity.

This season, he's left it till the last minute to get two defenders and some midfield replacements for Samir Nasri and Cesc Fabregas, something he should have done at the beginning of the transfer window.

His tendency to play youth team players and never buy experience saw his team humiliated by Manchester United 8-2, and along this lonely road he's decided to take with Arsenal, he seems to have forgotten the philosophy he started with all those years ago when he joined Arsenal.

That philosophy was to bring exciting and beautiful football to Arsenal Football Club. However, that seems to have taken a backseat in order to just copy Barcelona and do it better than them, whatever the cost, and that cost seems to be any real progression for Arsenal in the last five years or so.

They are one of the best in England, yet they are trophy-less because of some obsession Wenger has with Barca that harks back to the Clough-Revie rivalry of Derby County and Leeds United back in the 70's.

He just basically needs a reality check, an open bank account and a warning to spend or they're closing the Youth academy down. Then maybe Arsene Wenger will stop being an idiot and build himself a great team.

10. Jose Mourinho

Where do we begin with the Special One? He has a long, long list of knuckleheadedness that never ceases to amaze the neutral fan.

Some people love him, others despise him and he's possibly the only man in the world who hates Barcelona more than Arsene Wenger, so much so that his most recent encounter with the Catalans saw him getting physical with their staff and poking one poor guy in the eye.

That'll teach you, Jose.

Jose Mourinho has been described as many things by many people. FIFA called him "an enemy of football," and Boavista coach Jamie Pacheco called him "sick and mentally retarded."

Then, of course, there's the multitude of ridiculous incidents he's had since joining Real Madrid, from criticising Pedro Leon, lambasting Sporting Gijon and showing apparent favoritism to his Portuguese players such as Pepe and Cristiano Ronaldo.

A brilliant man but a stupid man, who just has to have both the first and last word on all and any subjects.