The Terrible Ten Of College Football: Week Ten

The Washington Huskies are horrible, but they did beat Greg Robinson's Syracuse Orange last year so despite the firing of Tyrone Willingham the Orange maintained their death grip on the top of the Terrible Ten.

As the season winds down Tyrone is only the first coach of the Terrible Ten to go down in flames....more will soon follow and take their programs with them.

1) Syracuse Orange 1-6

So Syracuse was thrashed again, what's new?

The bumbling Athletic Director Daryl "The Disaster" Gross hired a search firm to replace his first big hire Greg Robinson, who has lost 34 of his 42 games at Syracuse, then he denied he did it, but hinted he might do it if he didn't do it already, or some time in the future, maybe do it again.

Coach Robinson, GRobb, for his part, said he is aiming his team for a bowl game because every game left on the schedule they are going to be in.

We assume he means show up.

Syracuse great Jim Brown, who said watching the squeezed Orange made him actually physically ill, is still suffering from Syracuse Staph, a feeling of dreadful disgust brought on by watching a once proud program be brutally vaporized.

2) The Washingtons 1-14

Where will Terrible Tyrone Willingham wreck havoc next? Willingham, 11-32 as a Huskie, for his part realized just how horrid the Huskies had become when they actually made Charlie Weis' Notre Dame attack look good.

The November 22nd Battle for Washington, the Huskies vs the 1-7 Washington State Cougars, will have ramifications throughout the Terrible Ten.

The Cougars are still shell shocked from their Southern Cal 69-0 shellacking were routed by Idle last week at home 44-0.

3) North Texas Mean Green 0-8

The Mean Green ain't so mean but they sure like their green. 15 Mean Greeners flunked their drug test recently. After giving up over 50 points per game this season, who can blame the boys for a little wake and bake to ease the pain of their frequently run over bodies?

The Mellow Green been outscored 400-135 this year.

Head Coach, and high school legend, Mike "The Dude" Dodge apparently suspected the worst when the teams pre game chant became "One bong, two bong, red bong, blue bong.."

4) [TIE] San Diego State Aztecs 1-7 & Wyoming Cowboys 2-6

Coach Chuck "Chuckles" Long, whose Aztecs were annihilated 111-14 on their last two road trips, realizes he will be whistling onto the Willingham Express if the 2-6 Wyoming Cowboys rock his world this week. 

Since beating the North Dakota State Bison the Wyoming Cowboys have been whipped 203-14.

Cowboys vs Indians, baby: In the Terrible Ten we have a playoff system.

Catch that train, Chuck...

5) Pittsburgh Panthers 5-2

Yes Pitt might win the Big East and will go bowling but still everyone knew the Mustache would muck it up somehow. Wannie always does.

Giving up 54 points to a Rutgers Scarlett Knight teams which had played more like Miss Scarlett. The Knights', scoring only 79 points all season against Division 1 foes, performance is inexcusable for a coach, Dave "The Mustache" Wannstedt, who prides himself on his defense wizardry.

Wannie Wizardly is losing to Rutgers at homecoming and blowing a 14-0 lead to the Bowling Green Falcons in the home opener.

Take away those two colossal blunders and Pitt would be in the top five.

6) Louisiana Monroe War Hawks 2-6

The poor Louie Jimmy Monroe War Hawks were in the hunt, ahead 21-0, against Howard Schnellenberger's Florida Atlantic Howling Owls, then the Howling Owl QB Rusty "Hammer" Smith zapped a score to Zeek "the Z" Zacharie and Curvin' Cortez Gent for a 4th quarter victory.

Louie Jimmy Monroe Coach Charging Charlie Weatherbie said he will weather the Schnellenberger storm and be ready for the mean men of Troy this week as the Troy Trojans troll into town.

7) Tie Michigan Wolverines 2-6 & Purdue Boilermakers 2-6

Pummeled Purdue meets meek Michigan in a match assured to put even Big Ten fans fast asleep.

Michigan has never lost more then 7 games in a season but Slick Rick Rodriguez promises that will be one of his first big changes at Michigan and we believe him, baby.

Purdue Coach Joe Tiller's already retired offense has average roughly ten very boring points the last four very boring games as it put him to sleep....er leads him to retirement.

Its bad to be bad, it worse to be boring and bad.

8) SMU Mustangs 1-8

Things are really bad when Navy says they don't even have to pass to beat you. Navy didn't attempt a pass against SMU. The Navy ran 77 times for 404 yards while trampling the terrible Mustangs.

SMU played like smurfs. The Navy played like Marines.

Wild Tommy West's Memphis Showboats sail into SMU this week and Wild West said he plans to run the ball 100 times if he has to take 20 carries himself.

Go Wild West!

9) Clemson Tigers 3-4

If Interim Coach Dabo Swinney doesn't want to go the way of the dodo bird he must win this week against the Boston College Eagles and keep alive the disappointing Tigers fading bowl hopes.

Don't bet on Dabo not being a dodo.

10 A) Tennessee Volunteers 3-5

Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer is not going quietly into the good night as he kicks, claws, and hollers to keep his job.

The Tennessee natives are getting restless and me thinks Tennessee Phil's coaching head will be on a plate not long after Turkey Day.

10 B) Utah State Aggies 1-7

So many bad teams, so little time.