Urban Meyer: Write It Down—Legendary Florida Coach NOT Headed to OSU

I get the reasons. I get the logic. I get the allure of suggesting that he would go to OSU and deal Gator fans a big blow to the ego that would make for great dramatic theater.

But it just isn’t going to happen. That movie requires the suspension of too much reasonable disbelief. Urban Meyer will go into the College Football Hall of Fame in a few years wearing Florida Gator gear.

Folks in the sports media, even close to home in the state papers, have already penciled him in as the opening day coach in Columbus in 2012. But they are ignoring so many factors that weigh in much heavier than the simple Ohio connection. I have six good reasons—one for every year he spent at UF—why he won’t be taking the Ohio State head coaching position in 2012 or any other year:

1) Coach, Heal Thyself: Urban’s health problem has not gone away, and it will not go away. He may feel a lot better absent the stress and pressure of the UF cooker, but he knows those are false positives. He knows because when he stepped away in the spring of 2010, and then stayed away physically and mentally for the first half of the 2010 season, he felt that big jump in health satisfaction.

Well when he had to reassert himself into the trenches after the MSU debacle last season, his health problems kicked right back up again, along with the stress and pressure levels. He can only coach one way, and that way will eventually kill him at a big time program like UF.

People have been fond of repeating the Meyer admission that there were only three jobs over which Shelley Meyer (who loves it in Gainesville and is not at all fond of the weather up north) did not have veto power: Notre Dame, Michigan and Ohio State. Well he did not say that in 2010—he said that in 2004.

An awful lot has happened since then, from health issues to once-in-a-lifetime players passing through, to building a football dynasty to call his own. He chose Florida over the No. 1 school on that No-Veto list, and took it as far and as high as it could go. If he ever goes back to coaching, it will be in a low-pressure position at a lower division or small conference school.

2) Shiny, Happy People Holding Hands: Urban is happy where he is. He is having a ball at ESPN, he is doing a very good job and has no pressure or stress put upon him whatsoever. It isn’t even very hard—he just sits at the desk or visits his old coaching friends and peers and talks about stuff that is first nature to him.

His show prep is minimal as a matter of course. Not only that, but his broadcast peers largely have no pressure on them (relative to that which is put on a head football coach, that is) and are pretty happy with their jobs.

It's a stark contrast to the coaching profession, where everyone is under the microscope and everyone is fighting for their survival every day, on the field, in the media and in the ears of all the high school recruits. And there are no Lane Kiffin jackals or Mike Bianchi jokers bad mouthing him to or in the press every other day.

3) Ti-i-i-ime Is On My Side, Yes It Is: Despite sneers from his detractors – mostly inside GatorNation—his job at ESPN has afforded him a ton of new time to spend with his family. The time he spends on his job at ESPN is much, much smaller than the 24/7/365 job as head coach at one of the two or three biggest, highest-pressured and media-covered programs in all of college sports.

When he left in December, he said he wanted to spend more time with his family, not 24 hours a day of every day with them; he resigned—he didn’t retire.

4) The Only Way To Go Is Down: This takes “replacing the legend” to a whole new level. Tressel resigned in disgrace and he is still being held up by the OSU fans as an immortal. They blame the players for his demise—in fact, he gets even more clout with the fans for what they falsely think was his falling on his sword for his kids (as opposed to the truth of 10 years of calculated cheating).

The Ohio State job is one of those other two or three highest-pressure, media-covered jobs in all of college sports. What’s more, he’d be looked at as the prodigal son coming home to save the program. What’s even bigger than that is that he did at Florida what no coach has done in many decades without being busted later for massive cheating: bag two natties in three years.

This is much different than when Steve Spurrier came home to UF to save the UF program—he had “only” won an ACC title at Duke and done well in the USFL (and he wasn’t replacing a beloved legend who won the school’s first national title in 30 years).

In fact, because of the way Urban’s Gators thrashed OSU in the national title game after the 2006 season, from the Ohio State fan’s perspective, Urban owes them a national title just to get the scales back to even. Buckeye Nation HATES Meyer—he’s the home-grown kid from Cincy who started coaching at OSU but then left the family, only to return and crush them underfoot and stomp on their graves with another program.

While many would put the past aside on the chance that Urban can catch lightning in a bottle in Columbus, many will not forgive him and would just be waiting for him to fail so they could jump on him again. If Urban went to OSU and failed to rip off two titles in his first four years like at UF and maybe throw a Heisman Trophy in the mix, he will be annihilated by the fans.

5) You’re Going To Feel a Slight Sting…and Then a Nuclear Explosion: OSU is about to get blasted by the NCAA as hard as anyone has since Florida’s 1980s sanctions, and perhaps even worse. Bank on that.

The NCAA just pounded fellow bell cow USC, and the OSU scandals make the USC misdeeds look like J-walking. It's going to have to officially change its name to “An Ohio State University.”

Meyer is not going to put his health, family peace, reputation and good name on the line to step into a place where it is 100 percent guaranteed by scholarship restrictions alone that he can’t win big for at least three or four years. The only way he would take over at OSU is AFTER those sanctions were behind them and OSU’s version of Ron Zook or Lane Kiffin has run his course and been dismissed.

Urban will be in his 50s by then, and at least four years removed from the coaching profession on any level (and his last season was a complete disaster). He will be at least four years deep into his career as a media personality, and will probably expand his role to be a well-established and revered color commentator at all the big games every week in college football.

Both Meyer and OSU would be reaching deep to think that his value as a head coach would be worth coming out of retirement. Especially to rebuild another program. Urban would only come back then (or now) to a situation where he would have low pressure and could win right away.

At OSU, that’s not possible in 2012, and it won’t be possible in 2014/2015 when he would take over for whoever is hired to be the Timothy Dalton of the Buckeye coaching chain (consider Luke Fickell its George Lazenby).

6) …And I Can’t Stands No More!: He is flat-out fed up with the cheating in college football. The SEC is no doubt the worst conference in the country for cheating, but going to the Big 10+2 is no cure for lawlessness.

It wore him down just as the stress, pressure and grind of the big fishbowl program did. When he talks about it on ESPN, you can hear the disgust dripping from his tongue as he discusses it. And he knows that it does not just go for football, but all sports, especially men’s basketball.

I get the distinct feeling that if he ever goes back to a major college program, I firmly believe it will be as Athletics Director, where he can work to have a big impact not only on all the sports at his school, but also across the entire conference and the NCAA overall, which is the kind of reach and influence the big ADs have.

So as I said, write it down. I'm on record. If I'm wrong, you can say you told me so. But as Don Henley sang on "Victim of Love," I could be wrong, but I'm not....no I'm not.

PD is a principle writer at GatorGurus.com