WWE Raw Review: June 6, 2011

Hello Folks! Welcome to the best Raw review on the Internet! Now I’ve finished making my audacious claim, let’s proceed with the analysis of Monday night’s events!

As Tough Enough doesn’t air in the United Kingdom, you can imagine my confusion when Raw began with the two finalists being interviewed, by none other than Mr. McMahon. 

Mr McMahon then announced he would reveal the winner of Tough Enough, much to Steve Austin’s chagrin. Austin argued that it was his show and he would be the one to pick the winner. (The banter between the two seemed so natural, just like it used to be) He then took Mr McMahon’s advice and asked for a drum roll to build tension. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for tension but I wish they’d have got on with it.

Eventually, Andy was announced as the winner of the competition. Now, I haven’t seen the last episode yet, but I was surprised at the decision. I thought Luke was a sure thing. He got a slap for winning, off the chairman no less—then a stunner. It was a baptism of fire to say the least.

Raw then began properly as The Truth came to set us free. He came out representing the confederacaaah. I guess he’s finally gone mad. McMahon and Austin were still in the ring looking as confused as I was when I saw the end of Tough Enough when expecting Raw.

He had come out to apologise for his actions last week, to guarantee his title shot at Capitol Punishment.

“I’m a good R-Truth!”

He is exceptional on the microphone lately. He used the generic southern insults to rile the crowd and gain some easy heat. He explained he was going to secede from the WWE, just as the South did from the North in the Civil War.

AWESOME! The Miz came out to interject in what was turning into a total farce. He walked down the ramp asking “Really?” several times. Alex Riley swiftly followed to a decent pop.

Before he could even embarrass Miz, John Cena showed up. He was actually quite funny this week. The content was a lot better than it usually is for his promos. The GM chimed in and Cole began his usual act, before Mr McMahon told him to “SHUT UP!” What a winner Mr McMahon is.

McMahon set up the main event himself, pitting R-Truth and The Miz against Alex Riley and John Cena with Stone Cold Steve Austin as the special guest referee because...well now Tough Enough has finished he hasn’t got anything to do until Season 2 has he?

I think Mr McMahon should return to TV. He has the natural ability to talk on the microphone—a trait rarely seen in the wrestlers of today.

Michael McGillicutty and Santino faced off in a match that I found entertaining. I like watching Santino wrestle and I feel he is wasted on the comedy character he portrays. His exceptional skills are so noticeable—everything just looks so fluent.

Santino was victorious after striking with The Cobra

Kelly Kelly and Beth Phoenix teamed up in what must be the sexiest tag-team to ever grace a WWE ring. The Bella twins were competing against them. Lucky sods.

Kelly Kelly started the match showcasing some impressive moves. It was longer than I thought it was going to be and Beth Phoenix picked up the win after the GlamSlam.

A backstage segment followed, with Booker T about to teach Trish the “Trisherooni” when Jack Swagger interrupted. He challenged Booker to a match, accusing him of not being Tough Enough. Booker T accepted.

Punk came out to face Mysterio in a rematch from last week, cutting a short promo before the match, explaining how he would win for the umpteenth time.

It was a very technical match and had a noticeably slower pace than those that preceded it. It was really enjoyable to watch. I would go as far to say that it was PPV quality. WWE has been pumping out some brilliant matches on their weekly shows lately. There have been many that I would have happily watched on PPV.

Momentum shifted back and forth throughout the contest, but Mysterio managed to kick Mason Ryan off the apron (he was about to interfere) and slam Punk to the mat. Mysterio, you impress me for once.

He won with a cross body from the top rope, leaving Punk licking his wounds in the centre of the ring.

R-Truth featured in a Capitol Punishment vignette which was surprisingly funny and better than the others.

Alberto Del Rio came out to make fun of the Big Show. Ricardo came out dressed up as the injured giant, hobbling and eating with a cushion under his leotard. This was a boring segment and the crowd were dead throughout. I’m not sure they are invested in Del Rio, mainly because he was pushed too fast, didn’t win the title and he currently seems to have no direction.

He warned Big Show he would get hurt if they became enemies. He already is hurt Del Rio, as am I after that promo.

Dolph Ziggler arrived to take a seat at the announce table. It was at this point I was positive my eyes were playing tricks on me. I could have sworn I saw Zack Ryder in the ring waiting for an opponent.

Kofi Kingston came out to face Ryder and I was watching Ryder closely to see if he would impress on this opportunity. They were also plugging his Iced Island Long Tea Woo Broski Internet Show.

Ryder didn’t do a bad job but the crowd were dead. I hate it when crowds don’t get into the show because it makes every segment and match seem boring and flat.

Kofi picked up the victory after a Trouble In Paradise.

Booker T would be performing in the penultimate match of the night against the All American Joke, Jack Swagger. I was expecting a gargantuan pop for Booker T but it never materialised. On a plus note, there were some “Let’s Go Booker!” chants.

Booker finally got the crowd going at one point, but before they could properly get into the match, Jack Swagger just left and was counted out.

Evan Bourne showed up and forced Jack to chase him into the ring where Booker was waiting with a scissor kick. Evan then did a ridiculously high AirBourne. A double Spinerooni followed.

It was then time for the main event. Alex Riley was first out, his new music accompanied by Cena’s Tron design. Wrong button, Mr. Production Man.

The main event was rather boring until R-Truth tried to attack Cena with a chair. He missed and it ended up in his own face when Cena forced it there with his foot. Meanwhile, Riley hit Miz with a briefcase, who then received a Stunner, followed by an Attitude Adjustment. Miz is not having a good time of it this month.

Austin counted the one, two, three, and then celebrated with beer.

Just as I thought Raw was set to go off air, the Raw GM chimed in. He/She/It disqualified Riley and Cena due to Austin’s stunner, and elected Austin to be the Raw Guest manager next week. I told you he had nothing to do now.

Austin got started straight away by smacking Cole’s forehead with a microphone, then giving him a well-deserved Stunner. It also sounds like Austin will have it in for Cole next week—Cena then Attitude Adjusted Cole, much to the crowd’s delight.

Raw seemed to last for ages this week. I think the bad matches balanced with the good matches. Punk and Mysterio’s bout was the highlight for me this week. I thought it was an excellent match. It was also good to see Zack Ryder finally getting some recognition. Woo, Woo, Woo, you know it.

Please leave a comment below, detailing your thoughts on proceedings last night. Were you satisfied with the matches and their outcomes? Please let me know, I always do my best reply to all comments.

Also, please check out my new article if you haven’t already, detailing what I’d like to see in WWE '12. Click here.