WWE Raw Review: May 30, 2011

Hello folks! Welcome to the best Raw review on the Internet! Now that that shameless, outrageous claim is out of the way, let the analysis begin!

Raw was dedicated to the troops who serve in the US Army and those that have died for their country.

Then the sound vanished. It was like this for the whole first section of the show. From what I could gather, R-Truth was complaining about the amount of John Cena merchandise there was. The sound momentarily came back on as he berated fans wearing John Cena T-shirts on his way down the stairs to the arena.

The sound then went again. R-Truth made his way to the ring after getting in one fan’s face, and John Cena came down to the ring. It wasn't as impressive without sound.

The technical difficulties finally subsided just in time for us to hear R-Truth shouting at Cena and the Little Jimmy's for keeping him down. Then the WWE watermark vanished. Nothing was going right!

The Raw GM chimed in and made a match between R-Truth and Cena for the main event. If he had been a clever general manager, he’d have made it for the WWE Championship—but he didn’t.

R-Truth ended the segment with a lovely syntactically sound sentence—“You gown git got!” He left, talking to himself.

Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler competed in the first match of the night. Dolph has bleached blonde hair again! He clearly realised what a mistake he’d made and became racked with regret—hence the reversion to “vintage!” Dolph.

Kofi took a lot of punishment throughout the match, which was sloppy at times; it felt like the superstars couldn’t find the rhythm they so desperately wanted.

Kofi kicked out of the Fame Asser, but eventually fell victim to the Zig Zag, allowing Dolph to pick up the victory. It was not a bad match to start with, but I’d like to see them compete again—so they can make it a bit smoother next time.

Alberto Del Rio made his entrance and recapped what happened last week, when Big Show was run over by Ricardo. He seemed to show a sense of pride in what happened and this will definitely lead to a feud with Big Show when he returns.

The Bellas took on Kelly Kelly and Eve in tag team action and I have to say, I think this was one of the best Divas matches I’ve seen this year. It started off really well and with a decent pace throughout. I also have to say, the Bella twins looked hot in leopard skin.

What looked like a lazy Fame Asser gave Kelly Kelly and Eve the win.

Michael Cole was in the ring after the commercial—being annoying as per usual.

He interviewed Alex Riley, who came down to the ring with a new theme tune. It actually sounded really good. I think he should be booked to win a singles title already. On the downside, he represents a draft pick gone wrong.

Michael Cole proceeded to dramatise what happened last week—treachery this, treachery that, until his attitude (and calling Riley a bastard) resulted in him crawling out of the ring on his hands and knees.

Miz came to save Cole (although I don’t think that was the reason he came down), and battered Riley. However, Riley turned the tables on Miz and I haven’t heard a crowd go this wild since Triple H returned! I can’t actually believe how popular Riley is when he’s punching Miz.

This was some of the best programming I’ve seen from WWE in years—they should do things like this more often. This was PG attitude and it was awesome!

The Miz ran like a scalded dog through the crowd—they were deafening!

Punk came out with Mason Ryan to face Rey Mysterio next.

In contrast to Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler, these superstars really do work well together, creating exciting action.

The action went to the outside where Rey hit a suicide dive, forcing Punk over the announce table.

CM Punk picked up his first victory in what seems like forever, with a boot to the head after Rey Mysterio reversed the Go to Sleep for the second time.

Kharma stood in the middle of the ring looking all forlorn as she explained to the crowd why she was leaving. She gave a speech about having two dreams—wrestling and motherhood. She thanked the crowd for allowing her to fulfill her dream and said she would be back.

The fact that she thanked everyone annoyed me. How out of character can you get? Fair enough if she wanted to mention her pregnancy, but let’s stay in character. In my opinion, that little speech ruined any monstrous characteristics she possessed.

The Bellas arrived before she could leave, calling her fat and ugly, etc.—the usual BS. Kharma scared them into the corner and said she had a new dream for when she comes back. At least something is set up for her return.

In the penultimate match of the night, Jack Swagger took on Evan Bourne in a rematch from last week. Although I can’t see this turning into a feud, the matches are fun to watch.

Jack Swagger was in control for most of it until he was caught off guard with a simple roll up. 2-0 Evan.

I know he lost last week, but he nicked the point when he booted Swagger in the back of the head. Classic television.

R-Truth was mumbling to himself backstage before the match, whereas Cena walked past Ryder who seemed to be filming an episode of Long Island True Story Iced Tea Broski.

Woo, Woo, Woo, you know it.

This main event, although I expected it to be predictable, was anti-climactic.

Every time Cena became fired up, R-Truth rolled out of the ring. The crowd was lapping it up though—they were so loud!

He eventually got Cena to follow, attacked him, and made it back in the ring for the 10 count—winning the match.

After this main event (that wasn’t really a main event), R-Truth went into the crowd to the father and son he was with at the start of the show, and threw the kid's drink in his father’s face.

Call me a skeptic, but I bet they were planted because so many people would have lamped Truth for that.

Overall, Raw was fairly decent, if a little slow in places. The Divas really shined for me—I hope they can keep those performances up.

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